


Watch Me!

by Shinenteen



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-01-29 10:56:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 52,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinenteen/pseuds/Shinenteen
Summary: Jihoon hated his boss, despite his Adonis looks, for scolding him every chance he gets to live. He is way too competitive when provoked and stupid when drunk.OrThere’s Soonyoung who dared him to kiss the 22nd person who’s going to pass by, one night in their company’s anniversary.





	1. Chapter 1

Jihoon is not drunk.

He is pretty sure he is still sober that night.

”so Jihoon, D’you think you could do that? I doubt it. It’s okay. We understand”  Soonyoung says in a mockery.

 ”Soonyoung, stop it. Don’t mind him Jihoon.” Wonwoo gave him a smile.  


	2. Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A piece from the scene.

Jihoon looked down still feeling embarrassed of what just had happened between him and the guy he’s been stalking since he first got into high school.  

He put on his shirt and fix himself while still looking down, not meeting an eye contact with the said guy.  

”a-ah, h-hyung, ahm, d-o you l-love me?” he finally asked, this time looking in the guy’s chin, still avoiding an eye contact.  

He anxiously waited for him to answer his question but the guy just chuckled.  

He knew it!

Why did he assume things?

He knew that guy wasn’t serious with him since the beginning. He knew it.  

He hid his face between his hands and ran away.

Away from him. 


	3. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A daily struggle of Lee Jihoon

”Jihoon-ssi, the boss is looking for you.”  

that’s what greeted me when I stepped off the elevator first thing in a Monday morning.  

Nice! What a day!  

I did not stop at my table to at least put my belongings down, instead I headed straight at the boss’s office.  

What did I do this time?

I nervously knocked at the hell’s door with a sweaty hand and turned the knob.  

I sigh and let myself be welcomed in hell.  

”G-good Morning, Sir” I greeted the busy man, silently praying that I would be able to get out of here safe.  

”You.are.late.” he said coldly and spared me a glare.  Yeah, sir, a minute late. Just a fucking minute.  

I refrained myself from answering. Damn.  

” Sorry sir. I missed the station” and it’s your fault for giving me too much files when you could actually let the others to at least help me. I don’t have a proper sleep since the day I worked here!  

”Redo this.” he pointed at the flash drive resting at the top of his table.   ”and how many times do I have to tell you to triple check your work? There’s a lot of mistakes! Don’t you know that you are causing delays?”  

double, triple, quadruple, I did check it more than 10 times!

 ”I know you are new here but that doesn’t mean you could slack off. At least do your job right.”  

” B-but Sir, I did check it” I reasoned out.  

He removed his glasses and I would say he really looked cool doing it if he is not just being an ass.  

” So why is there a mistake? You did check it but you did not do it accordingly.”

I looked down when he looked at me in the eye.

” sorry” I mumbled. Okay. Maybe he is right.  

” Anyway, enough of that. Just make sure you edit that WITHOUT A SINGLE MISTAKE. Now, I need you to proofread this, I need it tomorrow morning”

He pointed at the three-thick folder at the top of his desk.  

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?  

” But sir, I am still not yet done proofreading the one you gave me yesterday!”  

” Just finish it. You can leave now”  

IS HE REALLY SERIOUS?!

 WHERE IN HELL DID HE COME FROM?

 

”Did you hit the jackpot again? Seems like the boss finally found his favorite”  Soonyoung teases as I sat down to my place in front of him.  

”He gave you extra work again?” Wonwoo asked me like asking what time is it.  

” yeah, his way of saying good morning” I heavily sighed.

I opened my laptop and put the flash drive to start working.  

” FUCK FUCKING FUCKER!!”  

” language” Jisoo said from the corner.  

”what happened?” Soonyoung peeps from his own window so does Wonwoo and the others.

 I scrolled once again to see if the shit is real and fuck it is.  

”I swear I am going to kill that guy! That jerk! Fuck!”  

” It was just one mistake and he scolded me that much? He could have had do it himself! What is he? He really is a monster, no! He is a demon!”

I angrily said not minding the people around me.  

The only mistake that he scolded me about was just the grammar error of ‘you’ and ‘you’re’. It was just one mistake and he scolded me like I had the whole company burnt out? He could have had edited it himself. Just add apostrophe and an e. It would not take even a minute.

 I edited it really quick and knocked at the boss’s office.  

” Sir, here’s the file you scolded me about. I just finished editing that ONE MISTAKE. Here it is sir. “  I said through gritted teeth.

I can’t believe this guy.  

” just put it down here.” he pointed his tabled without throwing me a look.  

I put it down his desk and make my way through the door to leave or I might strangle him to death.  

” And oh, the files I have given you earlier, I will be needing it tonight not tomorrow. It’s a rush so please finish it tonight.” He said calmly when I was about to turn the knob.  

Breathe Jihoon, breathe.

 Fuck Fucking Fucker.  Just Breathe,

  ”I.. Understand. Sir. “ I closed the door with a bang.  

What did I ever do in my past life to have a boss like him?


	4. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon and Misfortunes

I’m so tired.

 I rested my head on my table having my arms as a pillow.  

My eyes burned from being too exposed in radiation for God knows how many hours, no, days rather.

 I just finished all the goddamn files he had given me.  

It has been just months since I started working in this publishing company and I swear; my exhaustion feels like a decade to me. Blame my 0h-so-gorgeous-but-fucking-jerk boss for giving me too much work more than I should have. His hobby really includes having me scolded and seeing me suffer.

He is a living Lucifer!

 I groaned when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

 Can’t a hard-working person in here actually get some rest?  
“What?!!” I looked up at the person who just intruded my nap and offered a glare.

”Jihoonie hyung, Seungcheol have a word with you” Seungkwan told me while smiling brightly.

 ”uh-oh! Someone’s in trouble. AGAIN” Seokmin voiced out.  

” Just how many times in a day he had you scolded? You are indeed his favorite. “ Wonwoo joined the fuss in Jihoon’s window.

  ”9 times for today. Wonnie” Soonyoung teases like he always does.  

” What is Lucifer’s problem this time? “ I asked Seungkwan, still fuming.

I didn’t bother to lift my head up because I really feel drained from all my boss’s shits.  

”uh, Jihoon.” Soonyoung called.

”I already passed all the goddamn files he made me finish overnight! Don’t tell me he still have more! ”

I closed my eyes and buried my face into my arms.  

”Jihoon, the boss.” Seungkwan called me out.  

”WHAT?! Can’t you tell him to fuck off and just let me rest!?”  

“I got the message clear, Mr. Lee, don’t worry, I will.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

 “SIR!”  straightened my sitting position and panickily tried to stand up, but my head bump the wall between windows. “ouch” I winced.

 He heard me? I am so dead. I am going to lose my job. I am going to lose my sanity. He’ll fire me now. He is going to scold me and yell at me with my co-workers witnessing it. No, I am a dead meat after this. Lord help.

 “Actually, I called for you to tell that you could go home now but seems like you’re enjoying your conversation, so I decided to personally call you. Anyway, you can finish it in your house and submit it tomorrow so you could rest a bit.” He said coolly, fixing his glasses and damn he sure is hot as hell doing that.  

You have the audacity Lee Jihoon? Really?  

“Everyone, back to your works so you could go home early today.” He announced and threw me a murderous grin before walking back to his office.  

That’s it! I’m dead. I am so fucking dead.  

I stared at his back.

What will I do? Fuck fuck  

“Someone needs to prepare his belongings and say goodbye. He’ll surely be miss.” Soonyoung sing-sang as he returned typing in his computer.  

“I am a dead meat.” I mumbled.  

“Yeah, you sure are.” Wonwoo replied.

 

The next morning, I have my resignation letter prepared. I also prepared my speech and review my curses since I am going to resign anyway. Might as well, tell him to fuck off right in his face.  

I guess no matter how much I love this place and my co-workers, I still need to leave.  

But hey, at least I could tell Lucifer to fuck off.  

“Choi fucking Seungcheol, you are really an ass. You are one ugly creature who only know one facial expression. Okay maybe, you are not ugly. But anyway. I resign. I can’t stand you yelling at me from time to time, and the walk through your office is really exhausting so how dare you call me every minute in my life? You can choke on your own misery and one more thing, fuck you!”  

That’s what I am going to tell him after he uttered the “you are fired” line.  

I sighed and resign myself from staring at my own reflection in the mirror and smirked.  

Okay, everything is settled. No need to be nervous Lee Jihoon.

I knocked at the hell’s door and welcomed myself right in.

I am going to resign anyway so fuck manners.  

“Here’s the new file, Sir” I wont bother to say good morning cause what’s so good in mornings?  

“Thank you, Now, distribute this invitation for the company’s anniversary. And call this new author to discuss the manuscript he sent. You can leave.” I chocked. What?

“wait. You are not going to fire me?” I confusedly asked him. I am really expecting to hear him yell you're fired the monent i hand to files to him.  And did he say thank you? Since when Lucifer learned the word thank you?  

“why would I fire you?” He asked, forehead ceased.  

“uh, because of a, uhm, yesterday?” I replied not batting an eyelash.  

“stop blabbering nonsense and go back to your work, Ji, I mean Jihoon-ssi”

What?!  You mean, I didn’t lose my job? My sanity? I am not a dead meat?  I smiled.

“thank you sir, and by the way, Good Morning” I left his office with a smile.

Imagine Soonyoung's horror when he see me alive and kicking and of course, working. 


	5. Party scene p1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it rains

“Good Morning” the guard greeted me as I step off the company’s premise.  

I ignored him and ran my way through the elevator.  

fuck it. fuck it.  

I forgot to edit the file that is due today at lunch. I am so dead.

Seungcheol is so gonna scold the death out of me.  

it’s just 7:00 in the morning so, there’s no much of people in the area since we start at 8:00 but I really need to get it done even if it means sacrificing my sleep and yes, sweat.  

I reached the elevator to leave me disappointed for a while. Just when I was about to slip inside, it closed.  

Fuck it.  

3rd floor. Yes. Third floor.  

I ran my way from ground floor to third floor as if my life depended to it.  

Why do I have to forget it? Damn. Criminal mind.  

when I reached the 3rd floor, the door is about to close…again.

So, like a flash, I quickly slipped myself inside it.  

“hew! That was close.” I wiped the sweat forming in my forehead with the back of my hand.  

“thank you” I thanked the man standing beside me with a smile on my face.  

Mornings aren’t that bad anyway.

“welcome.” HOLY SHIT!!!  

“S-eung----Sir!” I take it back.

Mornings are really bad! It’s the worst!

 

I should have known that there’s 80% possibilities that I will bump into him considering he comes to work at 7.  

“ah, uhm, good morning” I said gazing downwards. He just hummed.  

Can’t faith see that I am doing my best in here to not bump into this being in any possible way? So, Why?!  

Awkward silence is the second one that greeted me.

Last time I check, 24th floor isn’t that high and that long to lift so why does it feels like a fucking eternity?

“Jihoon.” I straightened my back when he called my name.

Fuck! Why does his morning voice have to be so sexy in my ears?  

Jihoon, he is Lucifer, remember? Stop praising this asshole!  

“y-yes sir?” I looked up and met his eyes.

Don’t tell me he is going to scold me now? Really? Inside the elevator? early in the morning?  

He grinned. He fucking grinned.

He stared at me and I swear, it’s making me feel like I am about to piss.  

He paced closer to me. W-what?

Shit!!  

He placed his right hand to my side. He is trapping me and he is still looking at me. 

What.the.hell. 

His gazed went down, and I swear he is looking at my lips.  

Goddamn it! Is he going to kiss me?  

What?!

People at the back did you hear me?

He is going to kiss me.

 I closed my eyes. Shit. Jihoon.  

TING!!!

 I opened my eyes.

The door is opened and he is no longer hovering over me.

 “uh, you have a morning glory, jihoon-ssi” He said and get off the elevator.  

That left my mouth opened. What the hell just happened?  

“SHIT”

the elevator door closed so I immediately press the open button and finally get off.  

I reached the sidelines of my eyes to check if there’s really any.  And yes, there is.  

fuck, that was embarrassing. Damn you Choi Seungcheol!  

 

 

“Are you going, Jihoonie?” wonwoo asked me for the 3rd time today.  

“I am not. Stop pestering me. I am busy.”

I continue typing in my computer until Soonyoung and company joined the gang to pester me.  

“Why not Jihoonie? you should come” Seokmin sat at Soonyoung’s chair which is beside me.  

“I am going to sleep that day. Now, drop the topic!” I did not spare any of them a glance as I am still bust typing out this goddamn file Lucifer have given me.  

“Don’t worry guys, Jihoon would be there whether hi like it, or not”

I looked at Soonyoung who ruffled Seokmin’s hair.   “what do you mean?” I asked Soonyoung and he grinned. This fucker really knows how to annoy me.

 “Seungcheol made the attendance to the party compulsory for our department, so…………” He wiggled his eyebrows.

I threw him the eraser resting in my table and I heard him winced.  

“Why did he do that? He is not the boss!” I complained high pitched.

He really is annoying.

Why would he make such a decision?  

“he is! In our department. So, let us see each other on Saturday my pals” Soonyoung held Seokmin’s hand and they both head towards the elevator.  

ughh! I don’t wanna see Seungcheol! 

I so hate him.  

“Jihoon” Seungkwan called me.

“What?!” I annoyingly replied.  

Fuck the world! I don’t want to live anymore. 


	6. Party scene MAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who dared?!

Saturday night finally came. 

 

I lazily put on my black Polo without wearing any coat. God, how I hated suit and tie.  

 

It's a company party but i don't really want to wear suit and tie and shits.  I am sure everybody is already wearing one. 

 

This is my first time attending the company party but, who cares? It's not like i would snatch the mic off from the CEO and give my speech.  

My phone rang.  

Here comes the fucker. 

"Jihoonie,  where are you?  Don't tell me, OH MY GOD, YOU ARE DITCHING!" Soonyoung,  annoying as usual, hinted a threat in his voice.  

I rolled my eyes. 

"I am going! In fact i was about to go when you called. I am really excited to attend the goddman party. Believe me, I fucking am! " 

I hanged up the phone quickly before i decided to make Soonyoung eat it.

Gahd! He annoys me too much.  The world hates me too much. 

I took a cab leading to hell.

Fuck,  this is really exciting. 

 

Is there a person stupid enough to go to a boring party than to have a peaceful slumber?

 Oh,  There is!  Choi Lucifer Seungcheol. 

"Pledis." I said and the driver drove off.  

I mouthed silent wow when I finally see the venue.

Blue and Black is the party's theme.  The lighting and design brings life to the hall and everything is formal, Including my colleagues wearing suit and tie all over.

The place is amusingly dim but luxurious.  

There's a lot of familiar and unfamiliar faces lurking around the area.  

I spotted the author i am assighned with and greeted her. 

I also saw some famous writer giggling and talking.  Pledis is indeed famous in its own field.  Plus,  the salary don't disappoint. 

Except that there's a demon lurking around the area. 

"Jihoon-ssi, did you see Seungcheol? " Choi Minho, the CEO's son asked me when he spotted me in the crowd.  He is with Yoon Jeonghan, from the magazine department and Kim Kibum,  one of the famous author.  

Why would he ask me about Lucifer?  

He's probably in hell making deals with Satan. 

"I didn't see him around, Sir. I just came." I bow to him.  He is the CEO's son after all who just happen to be my boss's friend so I see him around our department often. 

"Oh.  Enjoy the party then. " he smiled at me and I excused myself from their conversation.  

Where are the idiots? 

I finally spotted the loud table of my co-department.

Well,  it's easy since they calls attention for being loud as fuck. 

"Finally!  Our Jihoonie.  "  Seokmin is the first one to notice my approach. 

I settled myself on my of the vacant chairs beside Wonwoo.  

"You're late. Why are you not wearing a suit?  Well,  if you think about it,  you'll probably look more like a midget so, i get it"  Soonyoung greeted me in a very Kwon Soonyoung way. 

Did I say that, he's my favorite being?  He is!  In fact i want to kill him so badly at this moment. 

"Shut up. Fucker. " i get a glass of champagne from the waiter taking rounds. 

"You're drinking? " Wonwoo raised a brow. 

"Well duh!  It's a party.  Right?  I got dragged into this boring shit and a glass or two won't harm. " I sipped from my glass. 

Seokmin said that President Choi Siwon finished his speech minutes before I arrived so that explains the crowd earlier. 

The conversation goes on and on in which Soonyoung taking a lead.  That fucker just won't shut up.  

Company parties are really boring to start with. Some big time personality are slowly gone an hour later. 

I sipped from my second glass of champagne for the night. I don't have a high alcohol tolerance (I can't tolerate it at all) so blame the boring party for my slight dizziness. 

Seokmin and Soonyoung played a game,  later joined by Wonwoo and Seungkwan who is unbelievably not with Seungcheol.  He is the unfortunate secretary of that fucker.  

They cheered in their stupid game that I don't quiet understand.  

It's getting a lot boring. 

I get my third champagne for the night. I swirled my forefinger in the mouth of the glass just listening to the fuss of tipsy Wonwoo and dirty giggles of Seokmin.  

"Jihoonie,  give me a number" Soonyoung said after putting down his empty glass.  

How many glass he had emptied? This fucker is sure a drunkhard .

I recited my phone number. And he glared at me.  

What?  He said number! 

"Not that asshole. Ugh,  wait.  When is your birthday?" Now all eyes are on me. 

"It has already passed. and if it is gonna happen soon, i won't invite any of you. " I took a small sip on my drink.    
I earned another glare from Soonyoung.  

Tsk. 

"Fine!  November 22. It's just a birthday. " I scoffed at him and he grinned.  

There's no point arguing with this shithead. 

"So,  22. " he gave me another devious grin. 

What's this fucker thinking? 

"I dare you to kiss the 22nd person whos going to pass by. Hmmm? " he uttered like it was the best idea that ever comes to his mind.    
I raised him a brow.  

Why would I do that?  This shithead.  

”So Jihoon, D’you think you could do that? I doubt it. It’s okay. We understand” Soonyoung says in a mockery. 

"I just thought that you are some kind of a tough guy but maybe,  it's just your facade. Well,  you're still a kid. " he added and I am very sure he is drunk. Unlike me,  i am still sober.  Am I?  

I gave him a glare. 

"Fuck you. What will I gain if I did that? You drunk fucktard." I spitted. 

Fck. There's no way I would fall from his shits.

"The toughest man award in the department? Oh that's so lame. Hmm Come on Honnie, it's just a kiss. For fun. It's getting boring and wait, maybe I could treat you lunch for a month, yeah?" He smiled at me but not the kind of smile that is warm, the kind of look-at-me-I-am-still-better-than-you smile.  

”Soonyoung, stop it. Don’t mind him Jihoon.” Wonwoo gave me a smile. 

” Don’t worry Wonnie, He wouldnt really do it. I know he can’t. Jihoonie won't do that kind of stuff cause he probably is scared and shy and, coward? ” Soonyoung rubbed salt,  giggling in the midsts of playing with Seokmin's hand. 

I drunk his 3rd bottle of champagne for the night and put it down harshly. 

” Watch me!” He eyed Soonyoung murderously and turn his chair from facing their table. 

There's no way I could accept the term coward in my dictionary.  Fuck this Soonyoung!

"I'll do the counting." Seungkwan raised his hands and Wonwoo just tsked. 

They're enjoying this. 

"One. Two." Seungkwan counted. 

I faced the table back again.

Why did I agreed to this? Soonyoung this shithead.

"Prepare your wallet dickhead.  I am so gonna kill you." I spat while glaring at Soonyoung he just chuckled and ruffled Seokmin's locks.  

"The question is, can you really do it? " Soonyoung smelled Seokmins hair while the latter didn't mind as if it was normal. Just whats the real score between these two asses?  I pity Seokmin if theyre dating. He deserve someone better that that fucktard.  

I smirked at Soonyoung.  

Fuck this guy.  Fuck his life.  

"17.....18... Oh, 19" Seungkawan counted trying not to be so obvios but damn,  he is obvious. 

"Two teen. " Seokmin joined the counting. If i Soonyoung didn't annoy the shit of me,  i would have dedicated my whole life laughing at Seokmin. 

"21." 

"21, c'mon" 

I didn't really know what's going on amd who's passing by or the lucky person who will get to be fucking kissed by me since I am facing our table and i am anxious as hell. 

I started to feel jitters spreading through my spine. Wonwoo and the others started to be alert. 

Damn.  

"You don't have to do this Jihoon if you don't like" Seokmin said. At least he is not an asd unlike Soonyoung. 

"Twenty tw--shit.  Twenty two.Jihoonie." Seungkwan softy called. 

The table fell silent. 

"Huh.Trust me Jihoon,  you can't. " Soonyoung said and that's my final straw 

I snatched Wonwoo's glass of champagne and drink it as fast as I could,   I felt someone standing or walking in my back. 

"Just watch me,  fucker. "

Now lets give Soonyoung all the fun he wants. 

"Se---whoa--"

I stand up and grab the forunate being and press my lips against his. I am sure this one is a guy since I felt his biceps.   
I licked his bottom lip and nibble it. 

Fuck. He tastes sweet. 

I opened my eyes and released him.

The moment I opened my eyes is the time i uttered I really wantef to die. 

The poor thing is sure startled by my sudden attacked.

Who wouldn't? 

Fuck! 

He is bending a little and looking at me, still shocked. 

I looked back at the table to see the shock imprinted to their faces. 

I look at Soonyoung, gone is his playful grin. 

This is all your fault,  asshole!  

"Now, I hope you're happy." I spat out trying to sound normal.   
I started to walk out from the scene. Faking my composure. Faking calmness. Truth is I am shaking to the core. 

I didn't see this man for days because i was busy negotiating things with the new author and I'll get this? I didn't expect this kind of reunion. 

"Jihoon" i heard his voice called me so I hurriedly hire a cab. 

Fuck!   
Now i am really doomed.


	7. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Jihoon is so adorable and soft and... Oh.

"OH MY GOSH! "

Seungkwan finally got over the shock. 

Seungcheol looked at the faces in the table Jihoon has abandoned.  

Jihoon.  

He rushes to Jihoon who is walking in a fast pace heading to the exit. 

The table with the shock individuals completely forgotten. 

"Jihoon"  he called.

He is sure Jihoon heard him for the latter run and hurriedly called a cab.  

Fuck.  He uttered.  

He immediately run to his car which is fortunately parked near the company.  He started the engine and searched for the hired cab Jihoon is in.  

For a second,  he found the car and tail behind it. The ride isn't that is long when the cab stopped at a shop.  

Shop? 

After getting off the car,  Jihoon entered a wait, A bar?    
"Nepenthe" Seungcheol read,  loud enough to hear his own voice. 

He also entered the place.  

It is surprisingly good. 

It is not the usual bar who got a lot of drunk teenager having their booty shook.  The place is good and luxurious.  Classic music playing in the background.  

He spotted Jihoon settled in the bar counter. 

Seungcheol decided to just watch over Jihoon in the distance.  In that,  he won't scare Jihoon off and he can be with him,  even in a distance,  without the other throwing him daggers. 

Moments later he noticed Jihoon hitting his own head and slapping himself. 

What is he doing? 

Seungcheol sat a space near Jihoon in the bar counter and as expected,  Jihoon didn't spare him any glance.  The latter fall into oblivion. 

"Fuck!  Why does it have to be him?  Fuck! " he, heard Jihoon muttering,  hitting the counter with his head.  

Seungcheol chuckled. 

"Fuck.  I kissed Lucifer.  Does that mean,  i tasted hell?  Literally? "  Jihoon spat again. 

Seungcheol listening to Jihoon's monologue figured out that the short guy is a little drunk. Scratch that,  it is drunk. 

"It is all Soonyoung's fault. That asshole! " jihoon drunk his beer like chugging water. 

"Eww.  This tastes bad. " he chuckled to himself,  drinking like water again. 

"But,  at least his lips is sweet unlike this water.  This is the most awful water in the goddamn universe." 

Seungcheol hardly noticed the curve in his, lips. 

"Uhh,  my head hurts,  wait.  Why does the world turning upside down?  Whoaa!  The earth is losing its gravity!" 

"Alien will eat us,  they made alliance with the zombies.  The ground is shaking,  Aliens ginna env---ahh"  
Jihoon nearly falls of in his chair so Seungcheol panickily held him by his shoulders. 

"Who are you?  Why are you holding me?  Wait.  You look like an angel.  Are you an angel?" Jihoon said to him without removing his hands resting in his shoulders. 

"Jihoon you're drunk. " Seungcheol said softly.  

Jihoon is too cute at this state. 

"The angel knew my name.  Wow!  But,  where's your wings? Did you fell from the heaven? " Jihoon examined Seungcheol for a while. Running his hands through Seungcheol's face. 

"No,  you are not an angel.  You are a god.  What's the name of that gorgeous god? Nevermind.  Wait. " jihoon touched his lips and leave a peck. 

Seungcheol mouth hanged open. 

Just how many times will my lips be abuse by this guy?  Not that I'm complaining tho. 

"Your lips feels like marshmallows.  Do all gods eat mallows?  I want some too" Jihoon trailed another kiss and look at his eyes and stared at it for seconds. 

Jihoon bend Seungcheol's face to the right then to the left. 

"You look like my boss. The one i really hated.  You know he always scolds me like it's the normal way to do.  He is fucking hot and gorgeous and, damn fuckable but he resembles Lucifer so nah.  Let me tell you a secret,  he is m---------fuck my phone.  It's ringing.  Where's my phone? I hear Chris Brown singing,  with you,with you, with you, with you, with you~~ oh girl.  Like that. " Jihoon searched for his phone while singing. 

Jihoon is indeed cute and fucking adorable.  Cheol thought. 

Jihoon finally found his phone in his pocket.  

"Soonyoung has the audacity to call?  That fucker!  And oh!  It's 2 am.  Wow! I am so gonna be late tomorrow and Cheol would really break my neck.  I should really really really go home.  Bye angel, no,  what's your name again?  Uh,  nevermind. You really look like that Lucifer but no,  you're my angel. Bye angellie pyong pyong. " Jihoon get off his seat successfully without tripping over and started to walk in a drunk manner.

Seungcheol tailed behind jIhoon, making himself alert in case Jihoon fall off.  

They made it through the exit and now walking to the busy street. 

"Ohhh, you dan dan me,  bed I felt et~~ tried to wich yu,  had mel it.~  Ay felt rayt tu trek, get back~~" Jihoon singsang while walking criss crossed.

 Seungcheol could only chuckle. 

Jihoon paused from walking

"I can't believe I really kissed Lucifer. Is he going to fire me for real?"  

"Arggh.  Of course he is! Damn Soonyoung.  Where am I?  Ah! I'm yours!  So ay won teyt,  no mer,  no mer,  hdjskdfkdkksjsn,  im yours~" Jihoon started singing again and walking. 

"Pra ram, dam dam du du du du du du~~" Jihoon swayed a little causing him to fall out.  Seungcheol immediately rescued him.  

"Jihoon-ah, careful" he tried to help jihoon stand up but when he look over the latter's face,  he just curve a smile. 

"Cheol-ah, ah,  I mish shu" Startled by what Jihoon had said. 

Seungcheol stared at his face and realized Jihoon is already snoring,  eyes closed.  

Seungcheol smiled.  

"You're so fucking cute" he said and carry Jihoon while searching for his car.  

When he found his black BMW, he had Jihoon placed in the passenger seat. Carrying Jihoon is really not a joke,  despite its short physique,  the guy sure is heavy.  

He shoved off Jihoon's bangs and wiped the sweat forming in it.

He stared at Jihoon for a moment and he swear got his breath taken away. 

"I am sorry if I always scolds you and yell at you.  That's the only way I could get you in my office to see you. And I won't promise I'll stop,  cause that's my only chance. I miss you too, Zi." He kissed Jihoon's temple and closed the passenger seat's door.  

He lost count to the number of times he smiled that night, but he let himself grin widely, savoring the stolen moment.  


	8. Chapter Six.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream and reality.

I stared at Paulo Coehlo's book like it's the most precious thing in the world.  I smelled the it while browsing its cover. 

Whoaa, it does really smell just like him.  

I tried to sniff harder hoping that the  scent would linger in my nose longer.  

His hands wandered these pretty cover.

"What are you doing? " 

The alchemist slip off my hands. 

"C-cheol s-sunbae, n-nim" sounds came from my mouth but I wasn't aware I said it at loud.  

"How do you know my real name? " he eyed me like he's accusing me of something.  

I looked down.  

I was so used by just seeing him in a distance that I couldn't even lift my head to meet his eyes. Not when he is just a meter close or far. 

"I-i knew your name s-since three years ago." Not the full name,  but at least I knew a piece of your real name.   
I hate myself for being an honest brat at this moment of my panic.

He held my shoulder and I swear i feel my knees going all jelly.  

"Cc-Coups sunbaenim,  I-I l-lik-like yo-you" i splurted out without knowing why. 

Why do I have such a stupid mouth?

I looked at my black sketchers, now i know he is totally creepied. 

Who wouldn't?

Not everyday in your life someome would tell you they like you out of the blue. He must have think I'm a stalker. 

Well. Which is quiet am.  

I've liked him since the first time I saw him in the corner of the library, reading one of Jane Austen's book when I was still on my first year.  

Guys don't like romance so I was amazed that he read one of my favorite book.  Since then,  I've been stalking him.  

I would read all the books he have read just after he finished it. 

I would stare at him from the shelves and watch him read untio the library closes.

It's quiet creepy.  I know.  

But what can I do?  

I think it's love at first sight. 

He was the school gem. Known as S. Coups. He was so damn smart but a bit snob.  He is a snob.  

He don't have friends and he don't talk to just anyone else except his teachers and classmates. 

He is way beyond everyone's reach. 

Far beyonf my reach. 

He lift my chin.  

Wh-what? 

"I-i-I have t-to go." I pushed him a bit harder and tried to run off but i forgot that we are still in the library and stucked in between shelves so I bump the shelf I was leaning on with my head reaching an impact so i wasn't surprise to see myself on the ground.

Im fully aware that I'm stupid when shock. Thanks for remimding. 

I touched my forehead.  It hurts.  

The shelf is sure hard.   

I was in the middle of scolding myself at such embarrassing state when i heard him talk.  

He talks? 

"I'm hungry. Let's eat. " I literally gasped and my eyes dilated in a massive size. 

He is sitting in front of me,  offering me a hand. 

I could feel my heart jumping. 

Huh? B-but! 

He helped me stand properly and when my feet cooperated,  he dragged me out. 

for the nth time,  what?!

I maybe a creep but he sure is weirdo.  

Just who would ask a stranger,  no,  a stalker to eat with him just after hearing him confess all of a sudden? 

 

"Ughh" i groaned as I felt my head throb. 

Fuck!  I think my head is breaking. 

That was one hell of a dream. A nightmare rather.  It isn't even Thursday. 

I felt sunlight penetrated my skin.  

"Ugh!  That burns!  Why is it too bright? " I palm my throbbing head,  eyes held shut.

Why's the wimdow open?  

 

What Window?  

 

I don't have a fucking window in my room! 

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. 

 

Where am I?  

 

Who am I?  

 

Why am I naked?  

 

Fuck!  Im naked?!  

I peeped under the blanket only to discover that I'm completely naked. Well, maybe not completely, but all my clothes are gone except i am still wearing a boxer, which is not mine! 

A boxer that is too big to be mine!  

Fuck Fucking Fucker!  

I quickly examined myself and look over my body.   
I really don't feel good about this.

Just what the hell!  

I stood up and grabbed my clothes settled in the chair, neatly folded.  

I Immediately put the clothes on. 

I can't remember anything,  dammit!  

If this was a one night stand,  i am so not prepare to see who's the asshole who took advantage of my stupidity. 

I am stupid when drunk,  I get it!  

The door creeked open. 

 

Damn. 

"You're awake? " 

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!    
TELL ME I'M STILL DREAMING.  

Jihoon,  ugh,  sorry to burst your bubble,  but nah uh!   

"w-what a-am I do-doing he-here? " i didn't even filtered my shock and nervousness.  

Of all places in the goddamn universe, Why am I at my boss's place?!  

He just shrugged and eyed me from head to toe.  I feel like I'm naked when I'm fully clothed.  Is he eyefucking me?  

"D-did so-simething ha-happened last n-night? " my heart is literally jumping out of my chest. 

I looked at him anxiously. He threw one of his breathtaking stares and he licked his bottom lips. 

I knew it!  

"Nevermind. It just a one night stand after all. " i spat out nonchalantly.  As if.  I was nervous as fuck but hell,  i won't admit. 

Damn.

Why do I keep on making the same mistake all over again?  

When will you ever learn, Lee Jihoon? 

I looked at him,  finally. His jaw clenched.  

 

What did I do? 

"Nothing happened." He uttered. Looking down. 

We fell into silence.  

Nothing's comfortable with it. 

Am I disappointed?  

Of course not?  Why would I?    
Even if something really did happen, i am so sure it would mean nothing to him. It will never mean anything to him. 

The bitter thought left an awful taste in my mouth. 

"Good, then. Let's just forget about this, sir,  we're goint to be late for work. " I turned around to make my leave and pull the knob. 

I was taken aback when he slammed me at the wall, now trapping me. The door's now close. 

His eyes were dark and I wonder why he looks so sexy despite his grimace. 

"What are you doing?" I questioned nervously.  

He searched for my eyes. His gaze searched for mine. 

He placed his hands on my shoulder. 

"Sir" i called as if reminding him something. 

Now he looked tired. 

What is wrong with him? Just let me go so i would live. 

"Do you not really remember me, Ji?"  

That question made me shiver. My heart thumped harder.  For a minute,  i refrain myself from breathing. 

Jihoon, no.  

I looked down again and this time,  i feel his hands leave my shoulders. 

I can't do this. 

"I'm sorry sir, i am going to be late."  I said voice down low and started to slowly walk through the door without looking back. Holding back my cry.  

At least I didn't lie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is a Sekaiichi Hatsukoi inspired fic. I just so love it. And also, it is Jicheol. if you had read/watched it, it's so good.


	9. Chapter Seven: safety in danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheol wouldn't let it slip.

"Jihoon,  here's another. " Seungkwan put the thick stapled papers on my table.  

I didn't even spared him a glance.  

I eyed the papers as if I'm ready to kill.  

I. Am. So. Pissed. 

The last 2 days of my life were heaven until I have to go to work this day.  

Imagine not seeing a monster for about 2 days. Sounds heaven,  right? 

I've been busy talking to the author i am assigned to, and so far, everything is perfect.  At least for the last two days i am out of hell. 

Ah,  I miss the goody old times already. 

But because life is so great and beautiful, I am at the company again and that certain Lucifer, who's just around the corner is really getting on my nerves.  He literally make got my veins popping out of anger.  

He's been giving me loads of work and nonsense scolding for as long as he can for the past hours. Like for example: 

I am at my busy day since Xiyeon's (the author i am assigned to) book is going to be publish in just a few days.  So, i have to take care of everything. As in everything. From the papers to the covers.  Like I said,  everything was perfect until Lucifer came up from hell and gave me aches in a various ways possible. Of course, I had to give him the final draft since he is my boss and he got the final say in every aspect of our works and that's where my problem kicks in.

I have forgotten that my boss is Satan's long lost cousin or worse, he is satan itself except that he got no wings and he is unbelievably hot,  he got my blood boiling.  Okay,  he is, miraculously godly minus his attitude of course.  That's a different story. 

He's been giving me  hard times since this morning and i hated every bit of it.  

I hate him,  that's an old news so moving on,  he scolded me because Seungkwan 'accidentaly' spilled his burning caramel machiato to the file I left in his table. Well, since seeing him is the last thing I'd want, so i just left the papers inside and Seungkwan slip the cup and spilled the beverage.

It's not my fault the papers are thirsty! 

Is it my fault that Seungkwan is so hyper for everyone's liking?  

Is it my fault that I had to reprint it again?  

Is it my fault that the printer is broken?  

Is it my fucking fault he is an ass from tje very beginning? 

Is it my fault?! 

Maybe the leaving part but,  it ain't my fault!  The papers are frigging thirsty! 

And when the goddamn printer is working again, I thought everything is finally settled. But there he goes again, being a usual ass like scolding me for taking so long in printing.  Like WTF,  if he is that impatient, he should have let me use his printer. But again,  i don't want to see his face so there. 

After making my life miserable (with the help of printer) He asked me to come inside his office to discuss the parts he don't like in the draft. But no, there's no way i would be alone with him, again. 

It's okay if there are people surrounding us even I admit,  it's so freaking downgrading to be scolded in front of many but better be than being alone and awkwatd with him .

I am still not over the aftermath of that goddamn anniversary party that I couldn't even look at his back. 

I still suffer from the endless teasing of the most annoying gang inside this goddamn company. 

And now, back to my misery,  He is literally crossing out the entire book. 

"Is that all? Is it okay now? " i asked like my voice is made for mocking.  

Seungkwan have been coming in and out to the office for the 6th time.  

What!?  I am very busy that I can't even abandon my work.  

Okay, i still don't like to be come inside his office. Satisfied? 

"Ah, Jihoonie hyung,  ahm,  the boss said ahm,  that,  that"  Seungkwan is fidgeting.  He is torn between the devil's mood and my temper.  Somehow I feel sorry for him.  He must have been so tired from all of our bullshits.  Becuase of me, he has to become the messenger of that Lucifer and me in order to finish the goddamn book.

But come to think of it,  it was his fault i got scolded in the first place ,so nah.  I swear don't hold grudges. 

"What?  Don't tell me he wanted the entire book crossed out and redo it cover to cover because he just feel like it"  I said irritated.  My hands typing aggressively the keyboard might break or someone else's face would really break.  

Seungkwan looked down,  biting his nails. 

What?  I know that look. Don't tell me... 

"You're kidding" i spat. My hands paused. 

"H-he said,  r-redo chapter 10-13." 

What the fuck! 

Does he know that books and chapters doesn't come out of the thin air?  

Did he think concept and dialogues are easy to make?  

Is he really serious?  His mind is really into the new level! 

"WHAT?  BUT IT'S GOING TO BE PUBLISHED IN FUCKING DAYS! " I stamped my hands in my table and everyone's attention is at me. 

How am I supposed to tell Xiyeon that?! 

Fucking great. 

"He said he wanted it tomorrow" Seungkwan added fuel to the fire.  

That's it!  

I stormed into the hell (Lucifer's office) because he is so fucking unbelievable.   
He is standing near the glass wall reading something God knows what. 

That devil.  That fucking devil.  He is making me suffer.  He is dragging me in hell!  

"Are you kidding?  What redo? We only have 3 days,  sir"  i stresed the sir.  At least even tho i am fucking screaming I still have manners when i wanted to throw him curses in any language i know.            Now we're face to face I wouldn't think twice and might actually punch this ungodly being. 

Fuck this asshole! 

"It's only 2-3 chapters, you're over reacting" He said wearing his nonchalant look he always wear. 

"I am quiet busy. It would be easier if you contact Xiyeon now. " he added, still not sparing  me a single glance. His eyes are fixated in the papers he is holding. 

I needed to calm down. 

Breathe,  Jihoonnie,  breathe. 

Inhale........ 

Fucking exhale. 

"Do you think i am not serious about this? Do think it's that easy?! Why are you so fucking difficult?! Why do you enjoy making me so miserable so fucking much?! What did I ever do to you?! " i voiced out all of my frustrations because i might actually punch him if not.

He didn't even lift his face like he was expecting my outburst.

This is fucking too much. Am i not worth a single fucking glance? Did he really think this is some sort of a game?  

I watched him move.  He settled his papers in the nearest table. Back facing me.  Until he turned again to me. 

He crossed his hands over his chest and scrutinized me for a second. 

"Jihoon,  do you not really, remember me?" He looked at me through the lenses of his glasses. 

What?  it's that?!  

" is that it?! That's it!  I knew it!  I fucking knew it! That's the reason why you're making me suffer! because of that!  You are punishing me because I can't remember. You're so stubborn and annoying! Well,  I'll tell you again and again for the last time.  I don't fucking remember anything. Not a single bit!  I don't remember you at all.  I don't have a slightest memory of you. I fucking don't. "

my knees started to tremb and i started to shake. My lips afrer saying all of that.  

I looked back at him and i couldn't see any expression he has in his face. 

"Did you really not,  Jihoon?  Huh? " he slowly paced in front of me. Moments later,  i found him standing inches away from me. 

That was quick!  I just blinked. 

There goes his stares again. 

I looked down.

Fck it.  

"Did you really not?" He repeated lifting my chin to make an eye contact.  It send me shivers down to my spine.

I saw him looking at my eyes and for a moment,  i swear,  I saw stars and i was stucked. His eyes holds a million history and mystery.

His gaze went down to my nose and then...my lips.

I held my breathe. 

Is he going to kiss me,  again? 

No.He wouldn't.  

"Answer me, Jihoonie"  I gulped. His voice is too soft and it still sounds like a music ringing in my ear. It created rhapsodies. 

No Jihoon. Stop.  

I closed my eyes cause I couldn't handle the look he is giving me. I couldn't handle my thoughts dwelling.  

I shook my head.  

I am not going to say I remember every bit of him.  I wouldnt admit that he still has the same effect on me.  I wouldn't dare to say that I have never forgotten a single bit about him.  I will never say how he still got me after 8 years. 

"N-no" i almost whisper when my voice failed to be recognize. I lied.  

I opened my eyes,  convincing myself I wouldn't give in... Again. 

"Hmm, let's see."

The next thing that registered into my brain is, he is kissing me.  He is tasting my bottom lips, gently brushing it against his. Our nose brushing.  He gives me peck until he nibbled my lower lip again. 

His kiss went down to my jaw then my throat.  It reached my neck until it settled on my collarbone,  trailing butterfly kisses there. 

I feel intoxicated and drowned.  I feet the same effect of him like before, and when all of it make sense, when the past walks inside my thoughts, i felt scared.  Scared to be broken again.   
I pushed him with enough strength to pull out. 

This is all wrong.  

"I.. I.. I have a.. Girlfriend" i said looking sideways.

Because if I look into his eyes,  there's a possibility that my heart would betray me and come running back to him with open arms.  And it was scary. 

I felt a soft lips brushing against mine again. And i don't have the strength to push him.  Not when my knees are not stable to begin with.  

He is kissing me again and while my heart is fluttering inside of my chest,  while it felt safe having him this close, that's when to fright comes running in.  He feels so safe that you will feel relaxed until you just find yourself collapsing the moment he step back.  He feels safe that it is dangerous. 

This time,  he is the one who pulled away.  

"If you're going to lie,  Ji,  at least make it convincing. "  he said as he kissed my temple while I remained still. 

"And i know,  you remembers me." He said as he caged me in his broad arms. Bracing me with his warmth.  

Everything is just too much for me. I don't think I could handle it. I feel like i might break again when I let him break me. 

"S-sorry but I dont.  I have to go" I withdraw myself from his embrace and step away. 

Halfway to the door,  i heard him say something. 

"You still haven't change,  Ji,  you're still good at running. " he said in a low sad voice. 

I continue walking,  not looking back. 

You still haven't change,  cheol.  You're still good at making me fall for you only to leave me hanging. And break me in the end when I am already smitten. 

And I wouldn't let that happen again.  So please cheol.  Stop making me think that you want me as much as I want you, because we both know you dont,  just like 8 Years ago. 

I closed the door and lean in there hoping for support. 

"Hyung,  are you okay? " Seungkwan asked me when he spotted me. 

"Oh-uh,  jihoonie looks like he saw the gates of hell open." Soonyoung teased me amd i ignored him still catching my breath. 

It's the gates of hell indeed.  


	10. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The purple tulip petal.

Xiyeon's book is doing great, but that doesn't appy to me. My eyebag says hello by the way.  

2 days of revision were successful, and I swear to god my bed misses me so much that I can't hardly wait for our dramatic reunion. 

I just need to proof read it and have my boss check the final draft (again) and we, more like he, will decide what happens next. 

Speaking of the hot devil, He is quiet a human these past days after my outburst, which is still annoys me whenever I remember his dirty tactics and yes, he is still doing anyway. 

These days, he is not giving me a pile of extra work and not even scolded me in two straight days.

Miracle does happen, people! 

The big question mark is, Should I be glad? I mean, It is a good reason for a celebration, right? But the dark side of it is that, I can't concentrate. Well I can't help but think he's after something and it's creepy.  
He's been treating me so nicely and I'm not used to it.   
I prefer him treating me badly so i can have more reason to hate him but these days,  he's doing the opposite which frustrates me.

When I reached my table at exactly 8:30 in the morning, a bouquet of purple tulips greeted me.

My blush would have started to creep into my cheekbones, but as I reached the note the heat ascended to my head making my blood hit 100°C. 

Good Morning, Zi. 

Who's Zi?  Did he not get the memo?  Woozi is long gone and moved on,  or maybe moving on.  

Before i could react violently, someone crowded. 

"Good news!  Everyone. Guys! Listen. Hey,  Soonyoung,  are you listening? No foods for you,  keep on flirting with Seokmin." With Seungkwan shouting like he just swallowed the whole goddamn microphone,  everyone's attention got caught and i am no exception. 

"Breakfast, guys. The boss bought food. He said we need to eat so we can work accordingly. Isn't he amazing? Go, Help yourselves" he added with a proud mama voice while assisting everyone who got so excited over. 

While munching and savoring the devil's food, various versions of how miracle happened echoes inside the department. Everyone acted like the world is ending anytime soon so they should make the best of it. 

As if eating Lucifer's food is worth the YOLO. Tsk. 

Do eyes somersault? Cause mine just did.  It got my eyes rolling in the deep Adele would be embarrassed.  

"Jihoon,  wouldn't you eat?  The croissants are delicious" Jisoo quarried.  For a moment I almost forgot he is existing because he's so damn quiet.  well, except when someone is cursing in any language. 

"No, thank you. I'm fine" i tried to be as polite as possible. Which is not everyday.

 Miracle guys, miracle. 

I look at the flowers which earned a fiery glaze from me while walking towards the nearby trashbin.  

"Jihoon, why are you throwing that away?" Wonwoo inquired while deligently eating the devil's food aka croissant. 

"And what we have in here?  Whoa! Someone got a stalke-- i mean admirer" 

And look how rapid the news is flying. 

I gave Soonyoung a glare and the fucker just grinned.  

The hell with my so called friends. Are we even friends? Some friends I have teasing the shit of me like that. 

"Shut up and mind your own businesses" I threw the flower in the trashbin. 

I saw the boss walking with Jeonghan and the CEO's son Minho.

Looks like they're discussing something out of work cause they're laughing their hearts out. 

You have the audacity?   
I smirked. 

Look what i am going to do asshole.  

I snatched the coffee Wonwoo was holding and spilled it,  staining the innocent flower in the trashbin. 

"Jihoon,  you murdered the flowers! " Seokmin exaggerated while pointing finger to the trashbin.  

"Exactly what I wanted to do to the sender. I'll go back to my work. " I excluded myself from their mini drama and head back to my table with a stable grin on my face.  I didn't bother looking at the sender's reaction.    
Call me cruel but serves him right for calling out the dead Zi.    
I don't want to remember memories that wouldn't happen if Woozi is not annoyingly stupid. So much for making me remember things i want to forget. 

 

 

5 hours straight working without taking any water or toilet break was worth it. I have finished editing the remaining chapters. 

My stomach is already aching so I decided to went down and eat.  

My work is almost done. Just the boss's say, cover and a meeting for production and I am all done but that can wait. I'll take care of it later, my intestines are begging. 

Lunch break is already over an hour ago but well, I'm hungry so....

I made my way to the elevator and luckily,  no one's inside. I'll just made an excuse for going out at this hour.  

The elevator closes and I was startled when it opened again and all I can utter is fuck. 

I step aside to give him space. I don't own this fucking elevator in the first place so,  i adjusted.  

"Where are you going?" He opened the convo as soon as he is settled beside me when the door closed. He pressed number 3 while mine is already pressed in G. 

Fuck.  I can't tell him I'm going out to eat.   it's against the rules and besides,  He's the fucking boss no matter how much I loathe him. 

"Ugh,  i-I am running some errands for Soonyoung. Everyone is busy and I finished proof reading so...there. " I mentally cursed at myself.

 As if he's going to believe I'll let Soonyoung order me around.  What an excuse Jihoon.  Smartass.  

"Just make sure Jeonghan won't catch you.  He's a regular in the restaurant across the street. We are both dead if you're caught." He divulged.  

Fuck. He knew. And he's letting me?  What kind of boss is he? He's not the kind one excuse me. 

"I'll let you off for now. I know you haven't eaten any since morning but there's no more next time so eat when it's time. " with that, i thought i would finally have a peaceful elevator ride except for the thumping noise inside my chest. My heart just wouldn't shut it. 

"By the way,  there's no need to murder the innocent flowers. Don't you like it? " that query got me so shook I forgot I have a tongue.  

I was so confident when i pulled the act but now,  with him interrogating me,  i am a nervous wreck.  

Why am I so nervous?

 I keep on asking myself.   
I shouldn't be. 

"I don't.  Look,  please stop giving me flowers and being so nice to me. You're the boss.  Act like what you are supposed to be. " i reminded him.  He should stop leading me on.  He should stop pestering me.  

His forehead ceased and he cleared his throat. And he closed out proximity so I had to step back until the wall stopped me. His dark eyes never leaving mine.   
Fuck. I shouldn't have said that. Did made him mad? But that was what I intend to do.  Make him mad and disappear. 

My inner messy thoughts were disregarded when I feel his breath against my ear.  

"You know what Zi,  you're right.  I should be what I'm supposed to be. " i froze on my spot.  His breath is hot.    
"W-what are y-you d-doing? " i panicked when I felt a lips kissing my ear. The hairs on my body stood tall.    
"Hmm? " he breathed.  I don't know if that's his response to my question or he just smelled me.  I hope it's the former cause all I can mutter is fuck.  

What am I gonna do? God,  Jihoon!  Get a grip. 

I was about to push him with all the force i gathered when i felt his lips went down to my neck, nibbling it.  

Fuck fucking fucker.  

"Ch-cheol" i absentmimdedly moaned.  
I felt him smirked in between his kisses.

Jihoon,  no. My brain keeps on refusing.  

My head is a mess. And i fucking don't know what to do.  I know it's time to pull away. 

I pressed my hand to his chest aiming for a push but he held my hand in his chest. The turmoil inside me settled out when i felt a brush on my lips, the push is completely forgotten.  

He sucked my bottom lip and i didn't know i already closed my eyes, body responding, started to give in.

I felt my lips move on its own and nib his bottom lip.  
He stopped kissing me and enveloped me into a tight but gentle hug. His chin resting on my left shoulder. 

I used to love our height difference.  I used to love his warmth. 

"I miss you, Zi" he whispered to my ear.    
The elevator stopped and made a ting. And then it hit me. Everything hit me. The kiss.  The hug.  And it shouldn't happen.

 I shouldn't have let it happen... Again. 

I pushed him exactly on time before the door separately open. Where in the 3rd floor. 

"I'll go now." He said giving me a peck before stepping out.  

I remained looking down until the elevator door closed again. Having me alone inside. I put my hands inside my trousers pocket and felt something soft.    
I took out the petals i picked in the bouquet he have given me and stared at it. 

"Please stop" i said inaudibly looking at the purple petal lying peacefully in my palm. 

Please stop because I am about to give in...again. Please stop because I can't fathom another heartbreak.  Please stop before i do something I will regret for the nth time.  Stop leading me on.  Please stop.  

I hate him.  Yes. 


	11. Chapter Nine: Just this once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just this once, tonight.

"Jihoon, thank you very much. Tell Seungcheol my thanks too. I'll call you later, okay? Byeee"  Xiyeon excitedly ended our conversation because her fansigning is about to begin. She was so thankful that her book's release was a success when it was really not needed, because her story is really cool in a best way possible and she's fucking Xiyeon for everyone's information.  The famous author who make dollars in a day.  

The book was released two days ago and all i heard from her is how thankful she was to us.  

I am on my way to the company after meeting the newbie author i was assigned to.  Actually,  i am not oblique to drop by the office at this time (6:37 PM) when our job is supposed to finish at 6:00 well, if the boss is that acting ass and don't give us extra work to overtime. But since fate loves me so much, i have forgotten my house key.  

Greatness is really overflowing. 

I was supposed to be heading to the bar to celebrate Wonwoo's birthday.  But that will have to wait. 

While i am inside the elevator, Im silently praying Lucifer is not around.

I was willingly and determined to avoid that fucker for days. Im still not over the fact that I have fell in that sinful lips of him that is hauting me in my sleep, and the occasional hugging that ends in pushing and chasing when he's calling me. so I really have distant myself from him,  which is not really an easy-bitsy task since he is my fucking hot damn boss and fuck he is clingy.  

Spare me from another awkward scenario please. 

As I step on our floor, i sighed in relief of not seeing his office lights on. 

Guess he finished early. 

I descried my other co-worker, whose im not close with, working overtime. There's still quiet a few people , then there's Jisoo on the corner talking with wait,  Yoon Jeonghan? I shrugged.  

I should mind my own business. 

I drag myself in my table to find my keys. 

"You're still here?" I asked Seungkwan when I spotted him walking around.

"Jihoon! Why are you still here? I thought your going to Baksu (forgive my uncreative mind for the name of the bar) after you meet Lee Chan? Don't tell me you're not going?" He affirmed when he noticed me struggling to find my key.    
 I rolled my eyeballs.  

What a drama queen.

"I was supposed be there by now but I forgot my keys, so please shut up. Why are you still even here? Aren't you suppose to be there too?" I held my head up when I finally found my key that got mixed with the pencils and pens.  

"I was. But i have to submit some files to Jeonghan hyung first or Seungcheol will kill me. I just finished it.  Wait here.  I'll get my bag. " he marched to his table just outside the boss's office and bid goodbye to the remaining people left in the room. 

"Seungkwan stop dragging me,  i can actually walk if you have forgotten" I argued.  He apologized as he let go of my hand and led me to hire a cab. 

As we sat on the ride,  he become too busy texting with his phone held in both hands,  that made me look at my phone too.  

And oh,  the dumbass texted me. 

From: Soonyoung   
Where are you?  Hurry your ass up here.  Everyone's waiting. 

I tried to typed out a witty reply.  This shithead is just so annoying.  

To: Soonyoung  
Calm your tits,  we're coming. 

I clicked send.

I wonder how Seokmin handles that asshole. Yes, they're dating. I just learned that after the curse anniversary party of Pledis.  

Stop reminding me,  please. 

"Ahhhh,  he's so sweet" Seungkwan mumbled to himself, cheeks turning red.   

Sometimes Seungkwan is too hyper I can't manage him. 

"Jihoonie,  Hansol is so sweet"  he jabbered.  

I just rolled my eyes.  

Hansol is Jeonghan's secretary.  I just let him wander in his own bubble and busied myself playing wordscapes.  

When we reach the Baksu, there's already a crowd.  

Well, it's fucking 8 in the evening so party should have started.  

I spotted Wonwoo being enveloped in a hug by some giant in the table near the bar counter,  i guess that giant is Mingyu, his boyfriend. His height makes me want to hate him.  

Wonwoo also saw us and waved. 

Seungkwan waved back as we made our way to them. 

When we reach their table, Seokmin's giggles is what greeted us despite the blasting music playing in the background. 

These dirty brats 

"Soonyoung, stop being disgusting with Seokmin" Seungkwan suggested that caused us to laugh.  

"Yeah, at least prevent him from moaning loudly." I reproofed and the table is a mess for my witty remarks. 

"Okay guys, enough with the moaning talks. Jihoonie,  this is Mingyu by the way. My boyfriend. They all met him before except for you." Wonwoo's tone is a bit shy.  Which is new to me.  I only know his cold and normal tone.  

I smiled.  

Yes people!  I have the ability to do so. 

"Nice to meet you" i said politely. I wonder who's topping who in them.  I mentally chuckled.  

Dirty. 

I greeted Wonwoo a happy birthday  and Soonyoung talkative side started to lead the table on. 

"Yah hyung!  What took you so long?! " Mingyu suddenly exclaimed. Which stopped Soonyoung from his long narrative. 

"I had to attend some meeting."  I froze on the spot when i heard someone talk on my back. I didn't dare turn around.   
Fuck.  Please be wrong. 

"Happy birthday bro" a pair of arms wrapped Wonwoo into a brotherly hug. 

I mentally cursed when they pull apart. 

"Jihoon" he was shocked when he saw me sitting beside Seungkwan.

 I gave Wonwoo a confused look saying 'explain this shit or die'

"Jihoon,  i forgot to tell you, Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung are our close sunbae from college but we're professional at work.  Everyone knew so i guess i have forgotten to mention" Wonwoo explained to me. But Wonwoo is the same age as me and Soonyoung, right? 

"Ah. " that's all that come out to my mouth.  

Well it's a shock that my potential friend is friends with my potential boyfrien---I mean my boss aka my enemy. 

I let the topic pass as i am quietly listening to the drunk Soonyoung and tipsy Seungkwan.  The night is still young and I can't stand the stare i am given by some hot demon just around the corner but I can't just be a party pooper and go home. With the way they all talk, they seem really close outside work.   
Hour passed and Seungkwan is now crying,  ranting about how the Hansol guy is not yet asking him out. While Soonyoung and Seokmin are out on the toilet doing god knows what.  Mingyu and Wonwoo are sucking each other's faces. And i don't really care about the guy sitting in between Mingyu and Seungkwan while comforting his secretary by soothing his back and all, while planting holes on my face.  

In front of my salad? 

"I'll just get something else in the counter. The drink taste shit." I stood up not giving anyone a say. I can't stand both sight. 

Really?  In front of me?  That flirt!    
Seungkwan is too young for him.   
Fuck,  i thought this night would be good!  

I ordered a drink and clogged it straight causing my throat to burn.  

"Fuck" i cursed. 

I told myself I'm not going to get drunk tonight, when I'm still suffering from the last time i did but i guess words are made to be eaten sometimes. 

I ordered another drink and straight it up. 

"Hey that's not water." The guy bartender voiced out.  I just stared at him blankly.

"You look pissed. " the guy beside me said. 

Ugh!  Nosy people. 

"I am. Blame it on some cassanova sitting in the corner soothing someone's back. And also, i have the habbit of slashing nosy people's throat when pissed. " I threatened.

They just chuckled.  Crazy people too 

"Hahaha. By the way,  I'm Junhui the bar owner and the guy beside you is Minghao,  my boyfriend" he politely introduced themselves. I looked at him weirdly before raising a brow. So? 

"I didn't asked. Another glass, please." The order was placed in front of me immediately.

"Hahahaha you're really funny" the Junhui guy held the Minghao guy hands while talking to me.  I didn't give them any attention.

And was about to drink my 3rd glass straight when a guy stopped me. 

"Jihoon, that's enough. You can't drink." 

"The boyfriend is here. So sweet. " Junhui announced. 

Can't they hold their own noses? 

"He's not my boyfriend, you dumbass! Why are you here?  Where's Seungkwan? " i bombarded. Hissing on my first statement.  Even if I'm pissed,  i still care about my friends,  what do you think of me? 

"Hansol fetched him. Mingyu and Wonwoo went home. C'mon. Are you drunk? Let's go home. " He guided me to stand. 

"I'm not drunk, stupid!  Hey Junhui guy, how much?" I brought my wallet out to pay. 

"It's okay. It's on the house. Go with your boyfriend little midget." Junhui guy smiled at me genuinely or teasingly?  This dumbass! 

I was about to argue and ready to fight but he just waved his hand and looking at me as if no is not accepted in his vocabulary. 

"He is my ex, you dumb!  Whoahh!"  I almost stumble when i am completely standing up. I felt a hand hold my waist.

"What are you doing?  Im not drunk" i am so not lying when i say I am not drunk. I'm tipsy. 

"Let's go home,  Zi." He gently guided me on our way out. I managed to walk properly without my face touching the ground.

See?  I told you I'm not drunk.  

"Stop calling me Zi. Leave me alone. Fuck, I'm dizzy." I held into him.I'm not drunk but I'm really really dizzy. 

"My keys" i mumbled inaudibly. 

"Huh? I can't hear you, Zi" 

"Don't call me that. My keys. It's in Seungkwan's bag." I mumble.

I didn't see the bump in the walkway and i almost kiss the floor. It's not because I'm drunk.  It's because im fucking whirling. 

Fuck im woozy

"Careful.Stay still or you're gonna throw up" i closed my eyes cause of the fuzzy feeling.

 

When I opened my eyes, a closed door greeted us. Gone is the dizzy and nauseous feeling. I saw Seungcheol struggling in his keys.  I didn't even remember the car ride or cab ride,  whatever ride we had to get here. 

When the door opened,  i let him lead me at the black couch and sitted. 

"Yea. Stay still,  I'll get water" he walk to the left side of the house. 

I looked around.  The last time i went here is not really a good memory.  And i was drunk too that time!

Why am I always ended up in here whenever I touch alcohol?

I didn't get the chance to look around that time.  The house is cozy. And that's the only thing i can comment on.  I'm still a bit dizzy. 

"Here. Drink this, Zi." he sat beside me handling the glass of a cold water.

I drank it. Not minding the nickname.

 But I remember i am Jihoon, so there's no way i wouldn't mind it

"Why do you keep on calling me Zi?  Why not A? B? C?  or D? " i interrogated him. I know it's such a futile joke. But understand that I'm not a clown nor a joker.  Please.  

"Cause you're my Woozi."  What a sap.   
But admit it.  Your heart does jump.   
Stop it.  I'm not drunk. 

"I'm not yours. Im no one's" I bickered.

I stopped being yours 8 Years ago. 

"im yours" he smiled.

 He gave me that damn million dollar smile he used to give me ages ago!  

He fucking smiled at me.  That million dollar fucking gummy smile, revealing his white set of perfect teeth.

My world stopped. 

My heart,  fuck. 

"I-i i'll go home. " i made a hurry standing up causing me to fall but a pair of well built arms enveloped me.

"Careful. You're still dizzy." He said into the side of my face cause he is holding me.  

Fuck.  I need to get out of here.  This is a danger zone. 

I need to fucking get out. 

"Jihoonie, sit down first, okay?" His voice is fucking soothing and oozing with hotness mixed with gentleness and holy shit he called me Jihoonie. My name sound so fucking great.

   
Calm your tits Jihoon.  Calm the fuck down.    
Damn alcohol.  I shouldn't drink ever again.  I shouldn't. 

"Woozi-ah, do you want to eat? I'll make something " he held my face and look at me.

I didn't know why when I look at him,  I see galaxy. Isn't because of his eyes? Or am I really drunk?

And his voice! His voice is far from the demanding voice of my boss whom I call Lucifer.  His voice is as gentle as 8 years ago when he cried into my arms. 

Flashback of the happy and sweet days we had visited my brain.  It was as if the surrounding brought us again to our old memories.  

It suddenly Woozi and Coups. No.  It suddenly Woozi and Cheol again.  

 

I miss Coups.

 

I miss Woozi.

 I miss you,  Cheol. 

"I'll make you soup. Wait." He stood up but I pulled him again,  making him sit down as I grabbed his nape and kiss him. 

He is so startled to kiss back so I bit his bottom lip.

He pulled away when I did. 

"Zi, you're intoxicated." He stared at me for like a minutes engaging us to a long deafening silence.   
I looked down. My fingers become so. Interesting to look at. 

"I'll go get you soup." Before he attempt to stand and leave me again, i pulled him into a kiss for the second time.  

I know I am not drunk for i am completely aware of what I'm doing. 

"Zi, " he stopped me. His voice appears to be a warning against my kiss.  

"I missed you, Cheol" i suddenly blurted out.

Now i know I fuck up.  Cause damn it.  I want him.  

He stared at me for seconds and I fucking swear, that's the longest second of my life.  

"Screw it! " he hissed and atracked me into a heated kiss in which I gladly returned. 

His lips taste the same. It still soft as a marsh. And still fucking sweet. 

While sharing a kiss, my mind does blink a red warning. My thoughts are begging to be heard.  My worries and anxieties as well as my principle and pride goes unnoticed. 

I let a tear fall into my eyes.  

Please.  Just this once.  Allow me to want him.    
Just this once.  

His tongue started to seek for an entrance which I surrendered upon fighting for dominance and I submitted.  The moment I open my cavern, giving him access,  is when I completely give in to him. Abandoning every bit of hurt and doubt in the corner of my body,  forgotten. 

His luscious lips went down on my neck sucking and nibbling. 

I let out a moan when his lips went to my collar bone.  His hands roaming my body,  exploring every bit of me. 

"Ch-cheol" my voice sounds so foreign and needy.   
He found the button of my polo and started working on it, disregarded. I tugged the hem of his navy blue shirt exploring what's beneath it. When he felt my hands roaming,  he disregarded his shirt too and kiss me on the lips again, tasting every part of my cavern. He layed me on the couch gently without leaving my lips. And hovered over me. His knees in between my legs. 

His fingers found my sensitive bud so I whimpered im between our lustful kiss. 

"Nggg" 

His lips went down to my neck and to down to my chest.  Fingers still playing on the bud.  

"Ch-eol, hmm" he sucked my nipple and I don't know if it is the right or the left one.  All I care is how goos the feeling is. Savoring it. 

His hands cup my hardening dick. While my hands is on chest. 

This sexy beast.  

He stopped sucking my nipple and palming my clothed erection. So,  I opened my eyes when the sensation stopped. 

"Zi, " he eyed me as if asking if i am sure of what we are doing.  

I don't fucking know. All I know is I fucking want him.   
I searched for hesitation inside my mind and I found a lot of them,  begging to be heard but a small side of my brain and my heart tells me I to go on.  

Please. Just this once.  Just this night.  Let him be mine.   
Just this once.   
I begged my thoughts. 

"Please Cheol" i uttered as If i am entrusting my everything to him. 

That's what it takes to have all of my clothes fully disregarded and my body claimed. 

I'll worry tomorow just please,  give me this night.  For once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-------------+++-------------------------
> 
> I'm so sorry guys,  i don't really know how to write a quality smut.  Bear with me please.  Anyway, This story is about to end,  just remaining 3-4 chapters.  And please comment down your thoughts.  I am open for improvement.  Thank you guys. 


	12. missing piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go back to where it all started.

Jihoon is glowing.   
And I am caught in his afterglow. 

I fixed the scattered strands of his brown locks, keeping it away to his soft cheeks while I lay in the bed sidewards to admire the after-sex glow he is offering. 

'He's beautiful'

My hands traced his face,  starting from his small nose to his puckered lips that got ended up to me just staring at him.  

He passed out after our lovemaking. I guess he was too tired or tipsy to remain concious.  I know he was not drunk and that's what make my heart flutter. For once, this make me feel I'm not trapped into this one sided feelings. 

I still can't believe he is the same soft and timid pink-haired guy in high school who used to be my stalker cause now,  he grew up bold and confident.  

I smiled when flashbacks of my high school came running into my mind while stroking Woozi---Jihoon's strands. 

Our first meeting wasn't like the cliché romantic meetings that can be read in books and is shown in films. But it is memorable that after 8 long years it still affects me, making me remember every bit of that phase of my life. 

I was in my last year of my boring high school.  I remember,  it was a typical Friday when I was at the library browsing some Sidney Sheldon novel as I felt some daggers boring into me.  I just finished Paulo Coehlo's 'the alchemist' and have it returned to the shelf where I got it just minutes ago.  And like my usual day at the library, someone's staring. 

I got up from my seat which was at the corner of the library and made my way to that one shelf where the gaze was coming.  

I found a small pink-haired guy who's harshly smelling the book I just returned. For a weird guy who wears a bright shade of pink hair,  he sure know how to rock it cause it surprisingly suited him. 

He was so startled when I asked him what he was doing that the book stumbles on the floor.  

I wasn't that surprise when he uttered my real name.  Well, my real nickname. I was known for being Coups not Seungcheol.  But it's no surprise. He wasn't a stalker if he didn't knew somethinh like that.  But I still asked him just to see how he would react.  

He was silent at first but later on,  he found his voice. 

"I knew your name since three years ago" he mumbled.  

So this is really my stalker.  I said to myself. 

I was in my junior year when I first noticed that someone was stalking me.  Keeping a distance and following me wherenever I go. But i never knew who it was. And then I noticed.  I would always find this strange name, Lee Woozi registered on the books I have finished reading and feeling someone's gazing at me during my whole stay in the library.  At first,  It was so uncomfortable having someone to follow your every move and I didn't like it but I later learned he is harmless. He was probably just one of those strange kids looking for entertainment. I first assumed. 

"Cc-Coups sunbaenim,  I-I l-lik-like yo-you"  he spatted looking down. 

Sure I know him looking at me from afar but it was my first time coming close, originally wanting to say stop doing what he's been doing but I was caught off guard when he confessed right in my face.  That,  for sure I didn't expect.  

He stumbled on one of the shelves,  head banging loudly as his bottom sat on the floor when he tried to get away from the whole awkward scene. He was also startled by his own acts. 

I chuckled and sat up offering him a hand, asking him to eat with me cause I was famished. 

I grew up not having many friends.  I always have an isolated bubble hovering over me,  not letting anyone breaks in.  I only talk when it's really necessary and I have always loved the silence, So,  Even I,  myself was shocked when I did invite him but I was happy I did.  Cause I got to know him.  

That was the start of all of it.  

Since then,  it was like we have the silent agreement to read together in the library but him, not just gawking at me like the usual but actually sitting across my seat. Like a reading buddy. 

He, Woozi is also a fan of silence so we enjoy each other's company but that doesn't mean we're close but we're also no longer strangers. At least there was a progress. 

We occasionally eat out in some nights and accompany each other in days. We're like a casual mates then and I still remember how the invisible wall between us was broken, changing our casual relationship into something more.  Something more deep.  

It was 4 months before my graduation. I was a candidate for graduation and teachers are to speak with the student's parents about anything or something that concerns our future, but my because my life has always been a shit,  i couldn't present them mine.  

I may have been considered a gifted child with an above average IQ and born into the middle class family having all my need supplied, but  i didn't have the luxury of having to experience the essence of it. I don't have a family.  Sure,  i have a mother who was always busy with her small law firm and a father who was also busy being an architect, but they're barely at home and if they were, all I would hear was shouting and countless bantering so I couldn't decide which was better. 

 Sure,  they give me fancy shits and they give me money so I can enjoy and carry on with my life. But what they didn't get to give me was the luxury of having them by my side while I'm growing up. We never went to the mall or parks. But I was fine,  at least I can endure.  But that day,  when they couldn't attend the meeting that was important to build my future,  saying they were really busy working and that I should be thankful for all of it was for me,  i couldn't take it in.  Cause it was really not for me and I need no money,  i wanted a family.  

I was alone in the rooftop when the school was about to close. I was there contemplating on my own. Crying silently cause my life has been all a shit. Because all I wanted was someone to hold onto.  Because life was so unfair and I don't have the thing I could call a family. 

I didn't expect Woozi to see me there, hugging myself. I never wanted anyone to be there when I was being just Seungcheol.  I told him to leave me alone but he didn't.  I was so used being alone that I called him names and say offensive words just to make him go, but what he did was sat beside me. He stayed. 

I was so used being all alone in my own bubble dealing with the turmoil inside my head. But for the first time in my life,  someone cared.  For the first time, someone rubbed my back while I was being weak. Someone came for me and saw the real me. Out of many people that I pushed away,  he's the only one who tried to stay.  

I remember how gentle and sympathetic his voice was when he told me it was okay to cry.  He told me it was normal to get hurt sometimes and be weak. He told me he was my friend so I could count on him. And he promised to stay. That was all what it takes to break all the walls i had built around myself. 

I cried in his shoulder,  letting my facade reveal how fragile I was under the Coups mask.  How I was different with the cold smart-ass lurking around. We were at the rooftop that afternoon,  crying out the years of pain and more than a decade of loneliness while he was hugging me tight. And that was the first time I felt warm,  in between my stalker's embrace.  

He didn't save me,  instead he accepted me and that was enough. Because that time,  I didn't need someone to save me.  All I need was someone who's willing to stay with me.  All I need was a hug and he willingly gave it to me. 

I didn't exactly know how I started to have feelings for him. But i was sure it was that certain moment was the start of it. 

After that incident,  I grew more fond of him. Woozi is a listener so I did the talking. I shared him the details of my day and even my life.  I shared him my stories, what makes me weak,  my fears and my dreams that he has become a part of it. But i didn't say that to him aloud.  With that,  I was contended.  

More weaks had passed and my stalker has become so especial. I knew i love him and I thought words aren't needed anymore for him to know it.

But i was wrong.  

In that Friday night, a week before my graduation, is when the most happiest night of my life happen. The night we shared heat. The night we became one. That night that was also the night when he started to break me.  It was the same night I last saw him.  

After we were both fixing ourselves when we finished cuddling after making love for the first time, he said he needs to go home. I told him I'll walk him and he agreed. After we got our clothes on,  he sat by the bed.  I still remember how solemnly beautiful he looks when he looked down in his shoes asking me if I love him.  

I laughed. I laughed hard. 

After all that had happened between us,  I thought he had it figured out. I thought he knew that I was in love all along. I love him more than anything.  I thought it was cute.  He was cute for asking that obvious question. 

Truth is,  I was thankful to him that moment.  Bause he make me feel alive for the past months after being dead in my whole existence. He made me feel especial and loved for the first time. 

I was about to come close. Hug him again and say I do love him more than anything I have. But what surprised me is that,  he knee-kicked me, his face was all red and then he run out my room leaving me dumbfounded.  And that was it.

The moment he walked out of my room,  he also walked out of my life.  When he walked pass the door,  he had ended my fantasies and brought me back to the dark reality.  

He made me the happiest in a span of seven months.  In that very short time,  I felt alive only to feel dead again.  

Because he was gone. And he never come back. 

I searched for him. 

I searched all over the town.  I asked for the name Lee Woozi but there's no record of that name.  

That's when I realized he had lied about his name.  He deceived me.  But I still went on searching for him despite that fact. I love him too much that I think I wouldn't manage without him.  That it was okay even when he lied.  

And then graduation came, I was waiting for him again, but he didn't came like he promised.  Like how he said he would forever stay but he still left me. Like how the waves brushed the shore only to move back again, leaving it.  

I got admitted into college and I continued my search hoping i could find him despite having too little information. I realized that I know tok little details about him.  I didn't know where he lived, what section is he or if he had friends.  I don't even know his real name or his birthday.  I had a very limited knowledge about him and still,  I love him.

At first I thought I've just gottn too used of his presence.  Maybe I didn't love him or It's just my mind that loves the idea of him. But after having a handful of doubts regarding my feelings,  at the bottom of my heart,  I know I loved him and it was not just the idea of being love nor in love.  

I tried hard to find him but I couldn't find even a shadow of him or trace a strand of his pink hair. 

Things weren't well after Woozi left and nothing good has ever came. 

Months later,  my parents divorced.  

It was the darkest episode of my life.  

My father re-married and so does my mother, who I later learned has an affair with her bestfriend that has been going for 11 years. Worse was learning I have an step-brother that I didn't even know. 

I was so alone and even the person who promised he would never leave did left me too. 

Why are people so good in lying?  

Where is he when I needed him the most?  

He said he wouldn't leave.  

I thought he would stay.  

Where is he?  

My life has become an endless cycle of alcohol and sex,  using the money my parents were giving me as a support.  My grades weren't okay and I have no friends. I have also tried smoking weeds and drugs. So basically,  I was falling apart.  

Then I met Yoon Jeonghan.  The catalyist, university paper's editor in chief. He found my helpless body near his house when I was beaten up by some guys in the bar where I was drinking. He didn't just help my wounded face heal, but he also healed my bruised heart too. He helped me in a lot of things and gave me better perspective. He gave me friends in the presence of Wonwoo and Mingyu and a brother like one, Choi Minho. I told them my story and they accepted me wholeheartedly. They have never judged me for what I did but instead,  they helped me recover.  

Jeonghan helped me heal externally and internally. He gave me a family by adding me in their little squad. And slowly,  things started to get better.  

I remember what he once told me. He said that no matter how painful my past was, always keep in mind that better things are to come in the future. That they were there for me until the end.  He said that family got each other's back and real friends never leave.  He didn't promise me anything but they stayed.  They didn't gave me empty words but the assurance. And so I tried to fix myself. Because I was hoping everything would really get better with them by my side. With my family. 

Woozi was my first love and so does heartache. He was my calm but he was also my storm. He was the chaos in my peace. He accepted me yet disregarded me that easily.  And it was never easy to let go of my almost but I moved on.  Or so I thought.  

In the past 8 years, i worked on myself.  I study hard so I could graduate with flying colors. I made my name using writing and I have become one of the major stockholder and an Editor in Chief in my field. I've become successful.  I have my name,  money and a few dates so I was happy.  Things indeed got better. 

8 years had passed and I thought I was over Lee Woozi,  the pink haired stalker I've got in high school whom I really loved.  

Then, a guy with a brown hair started working under my department.  Lee Jihoon.  His real name. Minho accepted him into the job because they never knew it was him who tattered me. They never knew his name like me.  

At first,  I didn't recognized him but when he walkes inside my office and looked at me,  I saw the same eyes that used to follow my every move. The same nose I used to pinch,  the same height I used to teased, and then same face that used to haunt me in my sleep.  The same guy who lied to me. 

I was furious when I saw him.  

How could he show himself to me after eight years?  

 

How could he be fine when I suffered alone in my lonely nights?  

 

How could he call me by my real name as if he don't know me? 

I was mad at him for everything.

I blamed him everything bad that had happened to me after he left. The pain he had caused me,  the promise he had broken and the hope he crashed in a snap. It all came to me.  

I always yell at him and make him do hard tasks.   
I made sure that I scolded him everytime he make a mistake even as small as a grain. I always make him come inside my office so that I could make him suffer for everything he have done to me. For making me feel shit.  For abandoning me, for moving on that easily,  and forgetting about me.   
I was hoping that by doing all of those things,  i could mask the longing I'm feeling for him. 

I thought I couldn't forgive him.  How can I?  When he has inflicted me pain that was so hard to recover in?  And to think he was fine. 

I have always thought that in a span of 8 long years, I have already moved on. But all along I was wrong. Because no matter how long it has been,  no matter how painful the pain was,  he's still inside me. I still didn't let him go. He is still that something I am grasping into.  I just busied myself doing things that doesn't concern him but my feelings was still there, lingering deep down my heart. I found myself slipping in again. Just like how I didn't know how he met me or when he started stalking me. Just like how I'm not able to trace where I started falling deep with him.  And how I am falling again after I crashed down in his trap so deep.  Now wanting every bit of him again.  

I didn't understand myself that I could forgive him that easily.  That even after everything,  I still care for him.  I am still in love somehow.  That's why I chased him.  That's why I swallowed my pride and let myself be wrapped again around his fingers cause the more I run away,  the more I deny my feelings,  the more smitten I am. 

I was happy when I felt that I still affect him.  That gave me the hope to cling on.  And I hope this time, he won't leave me cause I know I can't handle him slipping away this time.  I can't fathom not seeing him again,  not feeling his warmth. I couldn't handle another heartbreak. 

I stared at his sleeping face again and pulled him closer to me.  I rested my chin on top of his head as I let a tear slip out my eye. I am so happy I found him again or he found me. I hugged him tightly not wanting to let him go.  I am afraid I'd lose him again if I don't hold him tighter. 

I loved Lee Woozi and I am in love with Lee Jihoon . No matter what version he is, or his name was or even how long it has been,  I still end up falling. Cause he's the home i am searching for that I always go back running with open arms. 

" please, don't leave me again. " i kissed his hair and caged him in between my arms.  

I love you so much. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 or 3 more chapters and yessssssss. Yawawooo!!!   
> I promise it would be worth it. Share your thoughts guys and thank you for patiently waiting. Thesis is a btch yeah. Thank you really. Please look forward to the remaining chapters :)


	13. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon is just stupid in this.

The blinding lights peeking in my curtains welcomed me good morning.  

I covered my eyes with my left arm. 

It was the first time that I slept in ease and peace in 8 years. 

To dream about Jihoon and everything that have had happened before is refreshing. It's like being taken back to where it all started and know how it all began in the first place.  

Of course, some memories are painful. Some aren't. But they are still memories so it's worth remembering. And I do not regret being reminded. After all it was still Woozi. My Zi. 

My whole sense started to awaken.

Strangely,  everything feels light and right at this moment. It feels oddly perfect. In a good way. 

I opened my eyes when I felt the absence of the familiar warmth. But I felt a smile creeped into my lips when a smell of freshly brewed coffee filled my nose. 

Sweet. 

I slap myself a little hard to make sure i am not dreaming.  That everything that's happening is real. 

"Ouch" I smiled. That hurt a little but It was the kind of pain worth feeling. The kind of good pain. 

The shit is real.  

I smiled a little more wider than usual my lips are stretching to my ears.  

I can even imagine Woozi calling me a sap.  I chuckled in that thought and shook my head. 

"I should take a dip"  I felt so sticky with dried cum all over my body.  But it still feel good. To think it was ours.  Cheol's.  Zi's. 

I hurriedly took a bath without the grin leaving my lips, knowing Woozi is in my kitchen probably making breakfast.

It was something that I thought would only happen in my phantasm. It was the thing I could only wished to have everyday.  To be waken up with the smell of breakfast made by the person I want to be with for the rest of my existence. That's all I've been dreaming of. And I can't believe that my dreams are slowly coming true. 

I step out of my bathroom and made my way to the kitchen while humming a melody I couldn't name. The sweet aroma of butter and bacon is becoming strong in my nose.

Woozi couldn't really cook food way back then.  You wouldn't even see him near kitchen holding a spatula or even washing a tomato. He wasn't really a kitchen person but I'm glad he does now. It's a good kind of alteration. 

"Zi, it smells so goo..." 

I made a turn ready to back hug him but stopped right then leaving my words half uttered. 

"You're awake. C'mon, this will be ready in a minute." 

I froze in my spot.  

What

"Jeonghan? Why are you here?  Whe.. Where is woo....?"  

What is happening now? 

"Making breakfast, duh! Mingyu said you might have a hungover. C'mon let's eat. I'm hungry. " he sat at the in front of the stool after putting down the plate of bacon and fried rice and started eating without even waiting for me. 

"When did you come? " I asked him without leaving my spot. 

Fuck. I thought he was Woozi.  

Jeonghan usually come to my house more often than he was at his own.  And it's one of those times. 

"Around 8. And Cheol, why was Jihoon here?" He asked delaying a spoon full of rice halfway through his mouth,  giving me a curious stare. 

Was?  He's not here now? 

"You saw him?  Where is he?" I took little steps closer to him eager to get more information. 

"Yeah. I opened the door and I was surprised to see him come out the moment I did. You didn't know he was here?" he asked me while munching. Typical Jeonghan.

"I do. Where is he now?" I bombarded. He just shrugged.  

Fuck.  Why is he so relaxed?  Where is Woozi?  Don't tell me he run away.... Again! 

"Dunno. He was in a real hurry. He was so surprise when he saw me tho. And so am I! Why is he even here? Did you gave him tough task again? Or assigned him anything stupid? I heard he was your favorite toy in your department.  Ah!  I almost forgot. He said something weird. Like, 'tell him to forget about everything and don't ever try to find me' something like that before running.  I didn't really understand. It was weird. Do you?" " He inquired like it was some sort of a Morse code to him. He took a bite again. 

"Fuck!" I uttered. He did! 

"Why? Are you dating him? You're finally dating..again? Oh my gosh!  You are really over that dickhead ex of yours.  What was his name again?  Wooby?  Wally? Woozi? Nevermind. Don't talk about the devil or he'll come.  But are you really dating Jihoon? Finally!  Oh my gosh Seungcheol!  I am so proud of yo--" 

"Jihoon is Woozi"  i popped his growing bubble of excitement when he hugged me leaving his food.  

"Pardon,What?!" He broke the hug.  He looked completely mortified.  

He didn't really like Woozi and he hated him without even meeting him after I opened up to him. I couldn't really blame him cause I did too. I used to. 

I ran fast into my room and grabbed some shorts and hurriedly put it on. I was just wearing boxers. I came out again to find him stoned in his spot. 

"What do you mean he is Woozi? Who Jihoon?  C'mom cheol!  Are you fucking serious?! That devil stepped on my premise?" He unbelievingly exhilarated. 

"Listen, Han,  i don't really have time to explain right now. I need to find him. I'll talk to you later, kay? " I grab my car key at the coffee table in the salas which was not far from the kitchen.  

"Wait. Yah! Choi Seungcheol!" i heard him call before I close the door. 

That's why it feels oddly perfect.  

\-----------------------

"Uhmm, Good morning, sir" the people at the lobby greeted me as I hurry to the elevator. I don't have time to greet them back.  I need to find that running midget.  I'm afraid he'll do anything stupid again. 

Please Zi,  come on. 

*ting* 

"Good morni---Seungcheol! What on earth are you wearing? " Seungkwan freaked out when he saw that I am only wearing a black shorts and a blue tee which is far different from my usual attire.

What?  I'm in a hurry.  It's fucking emergency! 

I rolled my eyes. 

"I don't really have time.  Have you seen Woo--- i mean Lee Jihoon?" I asked him a little agitated. 

"I didn't.  I was late.  Hungover. Ask Kwon." he reasoned casually as if I am not his boss.  I just let him be and went straight to Soonyoung's window. 

 If I was not in a hurry I would give him demerit for being late but I don't have time for that now. Consider himself lucky. 

"Cheo--err sir? " he acknowledge my presence having doubt if he should address me casually or not. 

"Where is Jihoon? " i asked having only a grain of temper left.  

"You didn't know?" He answered my question with another one.

 Great. How smart!  Fucking genius. 

"I wouldn't ask if I do"  I snapped. He was shocked. 

Sometimes Kwon Soonyoung is just so annoying that you would want to beat the living daylight out of him.  

"He's handing his resignation to Minho's office. " Wonwoo voiced out noticing my annoyance to Soonyoung. 

Fuck.  

I left them there with a lot of questions written in their faces and run to Minho's office.  

Fuck it!  

When I opened the door,  I found him bowing to Minho as if he's ready to leave anytime soon after he bid his gratitude. They both look at the sudden intruder which is me. 

His eyes found mine and I saw the surprise crossed his pupil.

What did he expect? 

He looked down while I remain my gaze into him. Boring him with such intensity. 

"Cheol. I thought you're not coming today as per said Wonwoo. Anyway, Mr. Lee has just resigned. What a pity, it has just been months since he started. His performance is good as well, right?" Minho said in such a regret with a great amount of oblivion. 

"We need to talk" i said pointing at Woozi giving out a solemn voice not minding Minho. He's my friend.  He'll understand soon. 

Jihoon didn't budge.

It seems like Minho noticed the tension because he finally spoke after a minute of dead silence.  

"I-i'll leave the two of you. I have a meeting and seems like you have some serious matter to discuss. Cheol,  I'll see you later. Goodbye Mr. Lee" Minho made his way out without forgetting his professional manner despite the growing confusion. 

No one said a thing as the door closed and we are the only ones left inside the spacious office.  

I let out gigantic sigh. 

He remain looking down while I never even averted my gaze away from him.  

"So, you're leaving........ Again"  I said bitterly. 

He didn't say anything. He just remain silent while I am almost about to lose my shit. He remain unbothered while I am about to go crazy.  That sucks. 

"Really? After all that have had happened? you're leaving me? Alone? For the nth time? You're resigning? You're walking away.... Again?"  I asked uncompelling. 

 "Just like that. Just....just like that? It's just that easy?  For you? Really?"  I asked in a way that even me couldn't understand his fucking logic.  

"What do you care? " I was surprised when he looked up to me and asked me that after almost a minute of silence. His eyes are void of any emotion. 

"What do I care? You're asking me, what do I fucking care? Bullshit! Wooz-- no Jihoon! That's bullshit! Why do you think I care? Are you that stupid or are you just that cold hearted? I thought you're smart?  Are you really that cruel?" I asked him still not able to believe what he just said.  I wouldn't even sink in.    
"Last night. I know you're not drunk. You said you missed me. You said you fucking love me. I thought you mean it?  You said my name. Do you not recall? Tell me, what am I to you? Do I even have a place in you? Tell me. Stop acting shit and fucking tell me. " I asked him almost begging. My eyes are starting to water. 

"You're my former boss." He answered with conviction. I felt my heart stopped and my breathe hitched.  

"Why are you over reacting? It was just a one night stand. Just like how it was 8 years ago." He added coldly that I felt the chills run into my entire body. I froze. My heart constricted.  

"Just like 8 years ago, huh?  Now you're suddenly remembering things. Tired of lying? Huh? " I mocked him. 

This is insane!  

"I did not lie. I can barely remember you or what have had happened before. Cause it was not important. Back then what?  I was bored so I come to you. We fucked.  And what? That's all. That's nothing."  I felt a million stab hit me to right places after hearing his words. I felt a million daggers pierce into my insides all at once. I feel bertayed.  My world stop right at this moment.  

I give him a bitter laugh.

Fuck! That hurts.  

"Nothing hm?. Nothing. Fuck that stings. How dare you?"  I felt the tears run down to my cheeks. I saw him bit his lips but maintaining his cold composure. How's that?  

"How dare you?" I weakly voiced out.  Almost inaudible. 

"Thats it?  Just that?  You'll come in to my life unannounced and make all that twists and somersaults then leave when you feel like it?  You'll stir me up and drop me like that?  You'll enter my world so suddenly and leave me then that as if none of it matter? Leaving me feel shit? How could you? How could you."   
He looked down once gain. But he didn't say anything. 

I didn't imagine that I'm hearing these words in my life. I didn't see it coming.  Fuck!  That surely stings. 

I waited for my to brain absorb everything until it finally did and the pain doubled.  

"I was fine before. I was fine merely existing. I was fine dead walking. I was fine.  Then you walk into my life teaching me how to live. How to breathe. Eight years ago, Jihoon.  I was fine alone. I was doing fine even despite of all the shit that was going on then. Until you came. Then you gave me that empty promises but I believed you. I was fucking stupid for believing. You gave me the tiny hope when I was about to give up.  7 months.  You only gave me seven months to be happy. You teach me things I didn't even know existed.  You gave me that happiness in a span of seven fucking months.  And after that,  what?  when I was so ready to give everything to you,  when I was so sure about you,  you disappeared. You left.  Crashing my hope into it's tiniest pieces.  Crashing my dreams.  My fantasies of us.  7 months.  In a span of that,  I felt alive for the first time in my life. I live in a span of seven months only to be dead again for the rest of my life. Do you know that?  You have no fucking idea what I went through after that. You have no idea. I was in an endless tunnel without anything in it. I was hopeless. I become a mess.  I badly wanted to die so I seek death.  I was hoping If I were to die maybe you'll come back again. Maybe you'll save me again just like then when I was dead but suddenly alive,  because of you.  I was so ready.  And crazy and fucked up. Then you'll say it was nothing? That none of it mattered?  Really? You were are are my everything but I just remained your nothing? Huh? Are you enjoying this? I went through shits and it was nothing? for you? A fucking one night stand? How fucked up was that?" I gave him a mocking chuckle. But it was futile because he doesn't care. He is too much.  

I breathed. 

"Eight years. Eight fucking years Jihoon.  I was fine. After eight fucking years,  finally! I am fine again. Maybe not happy but at least fine. I got over you. I'm living again. After that dark years I've finally started to gather myself.  I was starting anew. Then there's you again,  starting your old tactics. Barging in again without a knock. There was you again breaking everything I worked hard for 8 years. Trespassing. There was you again coming into my life only to leave me broken again. But what did I do?  I stupidly welcomed you with open arms. Then here it is.  Again.  How dare you Lee Jihoon?" 

"Nothing? Really? You're a piece of shit. You know that? I hope you're happy seeing me this broken. Fuck you. Im your boss? Huh!  Oh yeah, don't tell me you're causally fucking every bosses you have had. Was the sex good? How many dick have you eaten? How many blowjobs have you given? Am I only one of them? Nothing? Huh? How dare you say you missed me? How dare you say you love me when all that you did was leave after making me believe your words and promises. How dare you come back to me as if nothing has ever happened? How dare you come back acting as if you didn't remember me? As if i was never a part of your life. How dare you kiss me after everything? I was fine. How dare you come back? How dare you be okay when I wasn't? How dare you move on while I'm stuck? How dare you? you're ruthless. I wish I didn't met you. I wish you never came back. It wouldn't be this hard if our paths didn't cross. I wish you never existed. How I wish." I let my words linger in a dead voice. I let him taste the bitterness he has caused me. Every bit of it.   
But a part of me remain stupid. I was hoping he would say otherwise. And I hated myself for it. I wished for him to slap me and make me take back all those foul words i have said. But nothing came out. I wish for him to assure me and hug me while I break down in front of him but he didn't.  

He finally moved in his spot. For the first time this day,  he looked straight into my eyes. But I wish he do didn't.  

"Yes. I'm wishing for that too. Now, are you done? I'm really busy. If you'll excuse me, Sir. " he said too casually then walk and open Minho's door ready to leave me hanging.  To eliminate me in his world.  

I walked close to him.  For the last time. 

"Walk away.  That's what you're good at anyway. i wouldn't stop you this time. Go on.  I'm tired of chasing people who loves running. I'm tired of you. Do me a favor, please. If you're going to leave, Leave.  But this time,  please never ever come back." I spitted out before making my way out of the door. 

I left him there.

This time, I'll change it. I'm tired of being left at. I'm tired of being abandoned. I guess it's my time to take my cue and be the one to go. 

Maybe after all.  This is the closure I'm looking for. I'm so done.  This time,  I'll move on.  For real.  

 

\----------------------------------

Jihoon was left in the office which seems to be growing bigger than it already was. 

He slowly watch Seungcheol's back grew farther from him with every angry steps being made.  He watched him go way.  Having had enough.  

When Seungcheol was finally gone,  he broke down in tears. Legs giving up, he let the water he was trying so hard to hold back moments ago stream down his face. Tasting his agony. Letting himself be weak and helpless.

 It's gone.  Seungcheol's gone. 

"Jihoon" a voice came.  


	14. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What summary?

Yah! "

I found myself being drag into somewhere with my hand sweating, being held tight by the person I just met a week ago. Not to mention I learned that he is my stalker.  

 

"Where are you taking me? Stop holding my hand." I inquired a little irritated. I only accept skinship if I am the one who initiates it.  

 

The sun is burning my skin.  Not to think that it's two in the Saturday afternoon so the sun is shining tall before us.  That explains why i am irritated.  My sweat is pooling.  

 

Thing is,  I was in the playground near the preschool I used to went to when I was still a kid. I stormed out our house because my parents are inside that hell with the plates flying around the kitchen while spitting to each other's faces curses in any language they know. As usual. I was out there at the playground watching the children and their mother or father play with them. I was too busy envying them when a hand held mine and gave me a gentle but tight drag.  

 

He stopped walking and untangled his tight grip.  

 

"Sorry"  he mumbled.  Like the usual,  he is looking down.  I wonder what so interesting about his shoes that he got the habit of gawking at it.  

 

"Whatever. " i responded.  I held my hand that he had held and checked for possible marks.  

 

I saw him bit his lip. He walk inside the shop we took a stop at.  

Where are we?  I asked myself the question I have asked Woozi a couple of times. 

I sighed and decided to follow him.  He went to the counter and the lady pointed him at one of the room.  He walk in a fast pace with me following him,  wondering why I did in the first place.  

 

"Here. " he stood straight in the middle of the room when the door closed.    
"What is this? " I eyed the room and scrutinized it, my feet are glued on my spot near the closed door.  

 

My attention was suddenly caught when i felt a cold object reach my hand.  I didn't noticed that he is now in front of me,  handing me the microphone.  Where did he even got it?  

 

I raised him a brow. As if reading my confusuion,  he started talking.  

 

"A-ah.  T-this.  This is wh..where I go to when I wanted to be alone. W...Wh..When the world is too much for me to ha..handle. My home. Hiding place. So..something like that." He stuttered still looking down. He is still handing me the microphone but I remain looking at him, confused. I looked at his shoes hoping to find something so interesting about it just like he did,  but much to my disappointment,  I didn't.    
"Home? A karaoke room? Yeah right. " I let my sarcasm reach his ear. But he didn't seem to get it.    
"Yeah. Here, no one will judge me. No one would tell me things that is only good to hear.  I can sing my heart out or cry out loud, laugh at something not funny and shout my agony. I could mess the lyrics up and no one will mind. The song and melody would symphatize and comfort me. In this, it's just me and the song. The world don't matter. Or at least that's what I think." He could actually talk straight without stumbling his words.  He stop handling me the mic and just held it down, gripping it.  

 

"So why did you took me here?" I remain standing in front of him, meter close.  Why would he let me know this if this is his hiding place?  

 

"A-ahm,  be...because,  uhm,  im thinking maybe... Maybe I could share y.you the comfort it gi...gives me. I noticed your foul mood so I... Thought that you are having a bad da..day. I thought this place can comfort you too just like it di..did to m...me. Sorry.  If you do...don't like it here,  we can lea...leave or we---" i reached for his hand and get the microphone his gripping,  making him startled by my sudden action and finally looking at me.  

"How do you turn that on? " I pointed at the huge television plastered in the wall.  

How could I turn down such sincerity?  I'm not used seeing one so it took me minutes to recognize it.    
I saw a smile crept in his lips.  

I sang my heart out while he just let me. I poured my emotion without crying that day.  The song's so loud that I didn't even heard the erratic beating of my heart when we sat closed to each other.  It did comforted me.  

I murderously stared down at the pen lying relaxed in front of me. 

I hate it. 

I hate that I constantly remembering things I should forget.  I hate that I suddenly get random flashbacks about him.  Can't my mind just shut up and leave me at peace?  

It's been three fucking days.  I should make a progress! 

I ceased my forehead giving the pen a stare that holds too much intensity.  And the pen is innocent.  

My attention was halted when my phone rang loudly. The sound echoing inside my office.  Even my ringtone irritates me. 

"What? " I snapped st the caller without bothering to look for its name.  This is my private number so that is not really necessary.  

"Cheol! Can you do me a favor? " Minho's voice sounded so rush and worried.  It's like he is running for his dear life.  

"Sure.  Are you okay?  You sound nervous, hyung"  

"It's Taemin. His car broke and that kid is lost some where.. Again!  Can you handle the interview that is scheduled today? Please.  It's the initial interview. And I heard he's already their so I couldn't cancel. It's in 10 minutes." I heard a car engine starting.  Taemin is his boyfriend and he is often lost somewhere or has something broken from time to time.  He is literally a walking accident like Kim Mingyu. 

"Okay hyung.  I'll take care of that.  Drive safely and hope you find him. " he thanked me and hanged the phone up.  

I fixed the scattered paper on top of my desk. 

Minho hyung and this emergency. Tsk.  I have a lot of things to do.  So much for losing one employee that I have to proof read some files myself.  

I abandoned my floor and ascended to where Minho's office is. 

"Is the employee already inside?" I quarried Yuri. She nods and I made my way inside in a rush. Minho must have already informed her so she must have let the employee in. 

"Sorry I'm late.  Should we start? " i slightly fixed my coat and sat on the chair without looking up.  

"Okay sir. " the voice is familiar.  

No it can't be.  Must be my imagination.  

I looked up and almost scream out loud when I saw the least person I wanted to see right now sitting across me.  His hair is now black.  

Why is he here?   
Again?    
Fucking great! Can't they see I'm trying to move on here? 

I fake a cough.  And acted as if nothing would faze me when the truth is,  I want to run out of this room.

I kinda expected him to ruin my plan but this is way too soon.  I'm thinking maybe years.  

I examimed his resume.  

Act like you don't know him.  

Act like nothing happened like what he did.  

Be the actor that deserves Grammy's. 

"So Mr.  Lee Jihoon,  what should I call you? Please be comfortable. " I said flipping the second page of his resumé. 

Treat him like any other employee you've interviewed.  Don't give him the satisfaction to affect you.  

"I prefer Woozi,  sir. " he replied grinning.  I almost choke on the spot but I remained stone.  

What is he doing?  He has the audacity to use that?  This jerk really loves playing.  I have had enough of his dirty tricks. I hate this.    
Minho didn't say anything. I shouldn't have agreed to this. 

I raised him a brow.  

I just want to get this interview over and done with.

   
"So Woozi,  tell me about yourself. " I started acting professional. My tone sounded too casual and authorative like it should have been the moment I step in.  

He smiled and I almost rolled my eyes.

Should I kick him out?  

"Ehem.  Okay. " he exhaled.  

"My name is Lee Jihoon but I remember changing it to Woozi so the one I was stalking wouldn't caught me stalking him. I--" 

"Pardon, Mr Lee? " i butted in.  The least thing he could do is to cooperate but what is he doing? I don't need a life story.  He should have known that. 

"Listen, sir. Let me tell you a story first. You can comment aftet.  So,  I really like him that is why I did the stalking and odd stuffs. A little fast forward,  we became close and so much more. But I left him. Something happened between us one night. I was the happiest that time.  I asked him if he love me then,  and he laughed hard.  So I left him, kicking him before stepping out of his premise. I thought he was just toying me. That it was just nothing to him. That I'm the only one thinking that there's something between us.  Why would he laugh?"  He chuckled.  

I stared at him,  concealing my flabbergast.  

What is he saying? 

"Then, I transferred school.  I counted two years. I cried for years.  I really tried to move on with my life without that certain someone I long of having. But I failed.  What's funny is that,  I came back.  Yes.  I came back hoping for him.  After two years. Because what can I do?  I miss him.  I feel bad that I didn't went to his graduation despite promising him I would be there. I feel sick because I was too hurt. But hey,  I came back. Didn't I? I saw him. He was a university student.  After two years.  I finally got a glimpse of him. He was laughing with a pretty blond male. I saw him held his hands. I wanted to throw myself at him at that time.  I wanted to kiss him that instance. I almost do,  but I never did.  I saw him happy. I thought maybe I was really nothing to him. That I was just the one missing him.  Maybe i was just the one beinh miserable while he is in glee. Maybe for him I was just a stalker that he was eager to get rid off so when I disappeared,  he was glad. That surely stings more than it should be. That's the second time I run away from him. " I saw him wipe the sidelines of his eyes.  

I don't really know what to feel.  So what I did is, stand up and collect my things.  I can't let him have the same effect on me.  No.  

"I'm sorry Mr. Lee but I'm really not interested in that narrative.  As you can see,  i am very busy person. Thank you for today, you can leave. Excuse me. " I stood up and was about to leave the room when he blocked the door.  

"Wait.  Sir,  please.  Just hear me out"  I heard a soft click.  He locked the door.  

Can't he just leave me alone?  

"Mr. Lee,  I have a lot of things to do. Excuse me" I tried to make him move out of the door but he persisted to have it blocked. 

"No.  Call me Woozi.  Cheol,  Listen.  I last saw you six years ago.  Believe me,  i didn't have the slightest idea that you would be my boss. I was surprised too.  I didn't planned it.  So I acted as if I didn't know you.  I thought you wouldn't remember me because,  why woud you?  I'm just your annoying stalker eight years ago anyway.  No please listen. "

I tried to open the door but he pushed himself closer to the knob to avoid me from doing so.  

"I did not imagine seeing you again after I moved on.  I even thought I wouldn't see you anymore. But after too many years what?  I saw you again. But the greatest plot twist of it was that,  you were my boss. My fucking boss.  That's great!  Shit great!  And then after just a day working with you near me,  I figured out I wasn't over you after so many years. Or maybe I was,  but I ended up falling again. Perfect! Then, when I dreamed of becoming closer to you again,  to continue where we left at,  I saw the same man you laughed aloud with six years ago.  One of the bosses.  This time,  he isn't blond anymore.  His hair isn't that long anymore.  But he still the same man you held hands with. The same man you were happy with.  My heart sank yet again. I told myself that you must have love Jeonghan so much that you are still with him.  I got so insecure. I wanted to be him so badly so that you can see me.  You don't have any idea how I hated myself because i am at the forbidden feeling again."  He breathed. He cleared the tears in his cheeks.  

"I was so flustered and overwhelmed when you recognize me.  My heart jumped at its track.  The whole zoo is in me again.  Damn butterflies.  But cheol,  I was so scared.  When you were're reaching out for me.  When you started to notice me again, giving me attention. When you said you like me. Your touch.  Your kiss. I become so scared.  It was frightening cheol.  What if, you are just playing with me again?  What if, i get hurt again?  What if. My mind is full of that. What if, I let you lead me on again and what if I suffer then same fate again? I was so scared to be broken again because I've been there and it was not really a good feeling. I was so damn afraid to play with fire but little did I know I have kindled it so it grew and consume me. I was so afraid you'll left me hanging with only my feelings to grip into yet again. Three days ago, that was the last time I tried to walk away again. But that time,  as I saw you walking away,  back facing me.  I was petrified. You gave me the different kind of fright. Loving you was scary but losing you is a damn nightmare waiting of coming true. When I saw you walking away, all I wanted to do was grab and kiss you and say sorry until you forgive me. When I heard your story, I wanted to punch myself cause you're right. How could I? How could I hurt you so badly without me realizing it? How could I focuse on what I'm feeling that I forget about you.  How could I be so selfish and cruel?  That time, three days ago, I was so scared that I will lose you forever and I couldn't handle that. I wouldn't settle for that kind of ending. My happy ending is long overdue eight years ago if I just have that faith in you. I want to be your end game. I'm so sorry. You said you've had enough.  It's okay.  I understand.  You said you're tired of chasing that person who loves running so much.  It's okay cause this time, it would be different.  I will be the one who will run back to you, meeting you halfway where you stop. Please.  I know I've been stupid but i will be a moron if I let you slip away this time.  It's okay if you're moving on.  I'll move forward with you. I'll make you mine.  This time,  I wouldn't be scared.  Please. This time,  you wouldn't have to chase me because i will be the one who'll crawl back to you. Please. Just give me a chance. I promise." he weakly pleaded with tears pooling his eyes.  

I just stared at him blankly.  

If I was the same cheol three days ago, i would cry in glee.  If I was the same Cheol two days ago,  the day after he let me walk away,  I would run into him with arms wide open ignoring every stab he caused me.  But I'm not.  

If he really does regret all of the these shits,  why now?  Why just now?  Why just now when I'm determined to start over.  When I have accepted our ending.  When we already have the closure we both craving in.  

Let's say he liked me.  But he didn't like me enough. If he really does,  he wouldn't let his fears block whatever he was feeling.  You don't make the person you like feel shit.  You don't make the person you like suffer because you like them. 

If he didn't trust me in the first try,  how can he love me?  You should have trust in the one that you love. But he didn't gave me that.  Not eight years ago. Not six years and not even three days ago.  It's exhausting.  How can I be sure this time would be different when he have doubted me not just once but three times?  

I thought I have become numb how can her hurt me again over and over? 

Stop.  

"Do you know why I hate promises?  It's because I believe them. Please. Stop. I don't want another broken promise again. Please let me go,  because I already did it to you." I declared in silence just enough for him to hear.  

Let me go and you already did days ago. 

I saw him clenched his fist. 

"No. Trust me I tried but this time I wouldn't. I can't let you go.  Not now. This time I'll fulfil that promise the way I should have eight years ago.  It's okay if you're tired. I'll do the running for you. I'll make you fall in love with me this time.  No more chasing and running just falling and loving. I'll make you want me again. " he is determined.  

My heart is already close.  My mind just won't accept him.  I'm already moving on.  Why would I believe him?

"You can't Jihoon.  You cant."  I contradicted him. More like,  convinced myself.  

He smirked.

"Trust and watch me,  Cheol. I can. " a playful smile is not leaving his lips.  

I chose to ignore that. I have a lot of things to do and believing his promises isn't one of that. There's no point arguing when I already knew he couldn't in the first place.  

I turned the knob when I got the chance.  

"I'll re-sched your interview with Minho.  You're résumé is impressive and I lost my mood to entertain you. Don't worry my feelings won't affect your job interview. "  I stepped out of the door and leave him.  

Yes.  He can't.  I know he can't.  

I shook my head along with the nonsense thoughts. I'm quiet busy and Jihoon has already left the list of my priorities.  

 

 

\-----------------

The night after Jihoon received a text from Minho,  apologizing for another rescheduling.  Seungcheol told the latter that he wasn't able to interview Jihoon because of a certain emergency.  

Jihoon sighed.  

He knows it is gonna be difficult but no. He decides not to give up Cheol and his feelings.  


	15. Chapter Thirteen : Turning Tables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the one who's always chasing is, the one who's finally being chased at.

"Good morning. Here are the new files, sir. "  I let out an enthusiastic tone while hurting my lips from stretching in a curve so much.  

He quietly responded by pointing the table. Gesturing to just put down the goddamn papers there.  As per usual,  not giving me any glance.    
My glee dropped into a cold zero. Real quick.  

At least a gave me a glance.  

It has just been a week since I started working in his department again. He was surprised when he saw me greeting him on the morning of my first day last week.  I knew he didn't expect me to be here. He doesn't want me to be here again rather. But what else can I do? Choi Minho hired me again.  Thanks to my resume and this damn stupid feelings.  

A week had passed and my operation winning him back doesn't even have any progress.  His walls are damn thick and tall for my height to handle.  

I heaved a sigh.  Well,  too early to give up.  

My steps leads me to the table's direction which he pointed me to. I let go of the papers as gently as possible.   

"Uhm,  sir, is there any work you want me to do?" I don't want to leave the office yet. I still want to try my luck. This is my only chance. He wouldn't even come out except for lunch. Who will miss lunch in the first place?  

"Nothing. Just finish the files Seungkwan gave you. You can leave now." he is still reading whatever he was reading.  

Damn.  His attention is fcking expensive.  

"Okay. uhm, d.. D..did you receive the coffee? " I gathered all the confidence I have for this morning to just ask that. I don't want to mess things up. I'm winning him back and I tend to say stupid things.

Last time I asked him why didn't he eat the cake I have him he answered 'am I obligated to?'  And yet I thought I'm the savage one here.  

"I already had one at home. " My mind abandoned my reminiscing when he answered flatly.  

So he didn't drink it?  Or did he?  Who am I kidding? Of course he didn't. It was from me.  

What do I expect?  Yesterday was like that too.  

I preapared him a lunch. I cooked. And dammit!  It was not easy! The oil is a btch. It was exploding. I have to endure the burns and sweat so I could give him something. If not delicious,  at least something edible.

 I was so excited to give it to him and when I did,  he gave it to Seungkwan right in front of my face, saying he has already eaten with devil cares who.

I told myself I have no right to be annoyed because everything was my fcking fault!! 

"Okay. Have a great day. " The person clearly doesn't want anything to do with me. Like what he have said,  he's done with me.  

"You too,  Jihoon-ssi"  I felt the absence of warmth in his voice when I exited the room. It's like he just said it back for the sake of respect. I almost do a back roll with my eyes hearing the formality. Really? What happened to goddamn sweet Zi?! 

It would be better if he's mad at me instead of giving me cold shoulders.  At least if he is the former , I'll know he still care. But nah! He's really mean.  

I thought it's hard to chase someone who loves running like me. But what I've discovered is that,  it's harder to chase someone who already stopped running because they're too exhausted so they stopped caring about the whole damn race.   

I tried to finish everything that needed to be finished so I would have a reason to go inside where he's at again.  He loves his office so much that he won't leave it.  

"whoah! You're finished? Jihoonie is feeling productive today. New year!!" Soonyoung wowed when I stood up planning to enter Cheol's office again.

I just gave him a scoff.  I wanted to give him a middle finger but that's prohibited.  

He was good to me last week because he said they missed me.  Stop me!  They missed having a subject to annoy.  That goodness has finally expired yesterday.  

"Shut up, Kwon" I walked straight ahead.  I have a better plan.  

I knocked at the door two times before entering. My first goal since I came back finally came true. He gave me a glance... Like for 0.003 seconds. But that's still a glance. I'm being optimistic here.  

I sat on the chair across him in front of his work table. 

"Ah,  sir!  I.. I just don't understand this part. And the number of copies that is stated here kinda confuses me"  lie. That's really a good way to flirt Lee Jihoon. To act dumb.  

He leaned closer to look at the paper I am holding. That's the better plan!  He smells really good.  I can't help but sniff his scent trying hard not to be obvious. Take note the word tried.  

"Shouldn't you be discussing the first matter to your author? I'm not the one who wrote that. " Burn. I bit my lips. He stopped leaning and straighten up in his seat. 

He's really trying to test my waters.  

"And as for your second problem, you do know that you shouldn't be stressing over that when the manuscript is not even finish yet. But if you really wanted to know, it's clearly ten thousand. Now,  Mr Lee,  If I already solved your nonexistent problem, you can go back to your work." He went back typing to his laptop with ease. Damn he really is smart. 

Breathe Jihoonnie.  Breathe.  

"But there's still a problem sir."  I pouted.  Shit. I so hate this.  For the love of God,  i just want him.  

"What? " he sounds nonchalant.  

"I don't really know how can I make my boss eat lunch with me. " i boldly stated.  I've been trying for week but he's just too hard to get. 

"You won't.  Now go back to your work Jihoon-ssi. " His voice is a bucket cold and stern.  I exited the room for the second time this day. 

It's just 9 in a morning and I already feel dejected.  

I am so annoyed. I know i should really try harder but my patience is already triggered.  

It was just a fucking lunch!

He's so difficult.  

I slumped on my chair and glare at Soonyoung and Seokmin who are about to ask me a question. I’m not in a mood for an exchange of nonsense banters.    

He won’t give me a glance? Fine! I’ll get his whole damn attention.  My plan A aka Seduce the boss did not work successfully.  That shit ain't easy.  Well then, let’s proceed to plan B operation: get his goddamn attention by annoying the hell out of him. 

I started to edit a chapter of a file that Seungkwan handed me.  After I ‘proof read’ it,  I handed it back to him with a smirk.  

”Jihoon, the boss called for you.” Just like what I expected. I give him a wide smile and an okay sign.

I entered the office humming to my favorite song.  

”yes sir?” I asked acting innocently as possible. His forehead ceased.  

”Are you sure you’re done editing this?” He asked seriously with his signature boss tone which is kinda sexy to my ears.  

Hold your horses Ji. 

”yes sir. “ I acted confused too. 

“just redo it. Here. “ He gave the file to me. He don’t want to argue cause that's what I really want.  I nodded before i left the office.  

I ‘tried’ to edit the file over and over again so i have to enter the office as much as i love to.   The increasing number of ceased in his forehead is giving me the satisfaction of him finally not ignoring me when that’s all he did in the past week.

 ”Jihoon. Please. Check it ten times before passing it to me. We’re not in a rush just take your time and pass it when there’s not a single mistake.” he tried to scold me as soft as possible.  He is getting annoyed but he is trying not to scoff at me.  He's not giving me what I want.  

 ”copy.”  

For the 7th time this morning,  I entered his office.  

”sir” I acknowledge him with a smile on my face.  I keep on smiling these days.  What?  He told me I have a pretty smile.  I'm using that card.  

”You’re doing this on purpose. ” oh. He noticed. Took him long enough.

”what do you want?” he added. I tensed up.  He is annoyed. His voice is low and cold. Enough to leave a shiver.  

”you.”  I tried to be bold.  

I heard him let out a violent sigh.  

”Jihoon.  Can you stop being selfish? For once? Look. I’m trying here to be professional by not mixing up my work and my personal feelings. Can’t you do the same? This is just so childish. You’re working for me so at least do your part and try not to mess up. This is work and I’m still your boss. Doing this won’t make me crawl back to you. Stop acting so desperate and leave me alone or just quit your job.” He gave me a glance. I’ve been craving for that but when he spared me one while spitting those words,  I asked myself why I did.  

That's a huge blow.  It surprisingly stings.  

I’ve gotten so used being the one who’s being chase at that i forgot how to catch up.  Did I really acted so desperately out of impulse?  

The silence embraced us but with the tension lurking around. 

”sorry” I mumbled looking down.  I just want him to notice me again. 

I remained looking down when I hear his phone ring.

When I looked at him, he just gestured the door so I hurriedly leave.  

His words left me a shock. I never knew that he is capable of hurting me with his words. A week ago and now.  He has been gentle when it comes to words.

Desperate? Am I really that desperate when it comes to winning him back? All I wanted was a chance!  One freaking chance. 

 I went to the elevator door and pressed the highest button.   When the lift reached the top floor,  I took the stairs that leads me to the rooftop.

I tried to calm myself.  When i failed, I dialed a number that i know can help he more than anybody.  

”hyung” i greeted. A tear escaped my left eye.  All of my frustrations since I started working again came running to me.

”it’s working hours why did you call?” the other line asked.

”hyung, am i acting desperate? I just want him to give me attention so he would notice I’m trying so hard. He is so difficult. He is not the only one who’s hurting here.I'm hurting too. Why can't he just give me a chance? Why is he so difficult?”  i reply weakly. The cold wind is drying my face.

 ”what exactly happened? Did you do anything stupid again?” I laughed. It’s obvious i’m the one who did anything stupid. People can easily tell.

Why do I always fucked things up?  

I told him what i did and what he said.

This past few days, i’ve been so dependent to him much to my surprise.  

”Ji. He’s right. You acted so desperate. That’s just so shallow. He’s right in every way to look at it. It’s your job you should be responsible enough to do your tasks. Stop acting childish. You should understand why he is like that. Just because you are hurting as much as he is, you have the right to demand how he should react. You can’t expect him to be okay after how many times you made him feel like shit. He already gave you up. Don’t give him a reason to push you further. Give him a reason to pull you back instead. Ask for a chance and stop demanding for it.” He said irritated. I know he’s annoyed for what i did. But can he blame me?  

I let my mind absorb what he said.

Maybe he’s right.

Im not asking. I'm demanding.

 I thanked him and ended the call.  I let myself relaxed for a minute before deciding to go back.  

When i went down our department, it’s already  our lunch. Wonwoo saw me so he called me up and we all went down to grab lunch in a restaurant not so far away from the building.

 ”jihoon. Did you cry?” Seokmin asked me. My eyes are probably red and fluffy but i just gave him a shrugged. I don't really like explaining things.  

I’m feeling better now after hyung’s peptalk. It’s just that, i dont know how to face Cheol right now. I acted really immature there so it’s quiet embarrassing. I admit sometimes, i too, can be petty.

We ordered food. Seungkwan is not with us. I learned that he and that Hansol boy are finally dating. So he stopped eating with us during lunch.  

We are halfway finished our food when Wonwoo’s phone rang.   ”uhm, guys, is it okay if Mingyu will eat with us? He’s on his way here.” Wonwoo asked after they finished talking. The group didn’t mind so the talk where Soonyoung is the main character resumed.  

”Hi babe.” I was startled when Mingyu approached Wonwoo with a peck on the lips. My mind is elsewhere. But i nearly dropped in my seat when I saw Seungcheol sat in a chair across mine which is the only available chair in our table since Mingyu occupied the seat beside Wonwoo. Soonyoung finally shut his talkative mouth.  

”Why the sudden visit?” Wonwoo asked sweetly. The voice he is only giving when talking to his boyfriend.  

”I came for Cheol hyung. i was very busy that I wasn’t informed that the shithead came back. And you! You didn’t even tell me” for someone who’s tall and full of masculinity, Mingyu sure knows that a pout makes him look surprisingly stupid.  

”What? Who came back? What are you talking about? Hyung?” Wonwoo asked Seungcheol who just gave him a shrugged and a chugged on the water his holding.

I wasn’t looking at him. I saw it in my peripheral view. Stop judging me.  Im too bashful to even take a glance at him.  

“that fucker who break the hell out of him. The asshole one. He came back.  What’s that fucker called? Woo...ah! Woozi”  I chocked on the orange juice i was nervously drinking before he spoke.

Everyone’s eyes are  suddenly on me including him. I averted my gaze and focused on the spilled juice on my face.  

”Hey Jihoon, you fine?” Mingyu asked me concerned. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and nodded.  

”careful Ji.” Seokmin added.  

”Anyway, that. The fucker is back and i heard and hyung didnt even say anything to me. I promised you that I’ll punch that asshole the moment I see him, lucky he,  I don't know what he looks like.  right? I really hate him. He better hide or me and Jeonghan hyung will really erase his existence,” Wonwoo held Mingyu’s hand to calm to taller. I continued wiping my face with the tissue Soonyoung handed me. Mingyu was a scary pup in there.  

I excuse myself to the bathroom. I looked like a mess. 

”i told you Gyu, that’s all in the past”  that was the last thing that I heard before i’m far away to them to hear what Mingyu replied to Seungcheol.  Not that I eavesdropped.  

I looked at my own reflection.  Even his friends hates me. His friends that has also become my friends. I wonder why they didn’t know it’s me.  

Yeah, i’m all in your past but that doesn’t mean i cant be in your future, cant I? Despite you being all hard on me, i still want to be your end game. That's just cruel.

I washed my face and when i am satisfied by myself,  i left the bathroom.  When i reached our table, Seungcheol is not there anymore. Wonwoo must have seen my silent glance at Cheol’s chair that he gave me answer.  

“He has a meeting with the bosses.” he said and offered me a warm smile.   
“are you not going Gyu?” Soonyoung asked Mingyu who’s still sulking.  

”no. I’m going to Minho hyung. And i’ll wait for Wonu hyung’s out”  he answered.  ”but that’s 6 hours from now.” Seokmin counted.

 ”So what? I’ll date him after so it’s worth the wait. C’mon you’ll be late” Mingyu is the first one who rose in the chair followed by everyone else.  

When we are at the elevator Soonyoung’s big mouth started to tattle again.  ”But really,  who’s that Woozi? You’re acting like he is the great asshole in the universe.” I understand. He is curious but what the fuck! I can really hear them.  

”he is. He is that asshole ex boyfriend Cheol hyung had. Hyung is probably dead right now because of loving that twat too much. If not Jeonghan hyung, Cheol hyung wouldnt make it. He is THAT bad.” Mingyu is still not over the issue. Obviously.

Hey dude. I also agree. I was really an asshole back then but can the guy be forgiven? Give me a break. 

”that asshole talk is enough. Jihoonnie, did you already know about the meeting for tomorrow?” Wonwoo successfully averted the topic with a smile offered to me or it’s just my imagination?  Nevertheless, I nodded at him thankfully. I already knew about the meeting for tomorrow.

We reached our department in a silence. It was a relief that the asshole topic subsided moments ago. Thanks to Wonwoo. It was really uncomfortable back there. 

I spend the rest of the afternoon doing my job correctly.

Hyung’s right. If i want another chance to be with him again, i should take thing slowly but right. I know It's late but it is not too late.    
\------------------------------------  

 

I shut my computer down ready to leave to building. Wonwoo had an early out. Like what Mingyu have said, they’re having a date and Soonyoung as an usual fucker, asked Seokmin the same thing thing too so I was all alone with the others im not even close with. Everyone knew they're happy with their boyfriends. No need to rub it on my face and make me question my life choices over and over again.  . 

I made a quick glance to the boss’s office before heading to the elevator. His light is still on so he must have been inside.  It’s already late. I had an overtime so that explains why i am going home this late. I'm not waiting for him if that's what you're curious about. 

When i reached the ground floor i saw the harsh slam of the rain to the ground. It’s raining heavily and i regret not bringing my umbrella with me.

I sat on the bench by the shed near the entrance and waited for the rain to at least weaken. and that would probably take forever.  

Can this day get any better? Is this my punishment for being a dick?

I saw a familiar black BMW made it’s way out of the building’s parking. He's done.  I silently prayed for him to notice me waiting here. Like, just this once. It’s raining really hard and i was all alone without any umbrella. It's not that I planned the heavy rain.  

I wasn’t that surprise when the car just run straight the main road.  

I heaved a huge sigh.  Disappointed but not that surprised.  

He's hurting me. And I'm letting him. 

I kinda expected that, What can i do? I’m just the only one who’s holding onto what we had. He already gave me up. That is just so sad.  Blame the rain for adding up to the long list of my misery.  

The cold didn’t bother me and so does the roughness of the rain. If he will just give me a chance, i promise to make everything right.  

I looked down ready to give up and deciding to just dance with the rain.  I was ready to run when i heard a loud beep. When i found where is it coming from, i was surprised to see a black car parked in front of the shed I'm under.  The car window rolled down.  

”Sir,”

\----- --------------------  

Seungcheol wiped his damp hair with the towel when his phone beeped.  

He’s home.

He quickly tapped the reply button.  

thanks hyung.  I owe you this.

 just a seconds ago he received a reply.  

No prob.

From: Minho Hyung 22:38 

Seungcheol continued wiping his freshly washed hair, preparing to sleep. 


	16. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's that?

I stepped out of the elevator with all the courage I could gather since I took a foot in this building early in the morning.  I carried myself with so much care making steps so slow ang gentle.  

He's here.  Well, he is never late.  

I retracted myself from the wall I had myself hidden the moment I reach our flat. A sigh came out of my mouth as I walk to my window where the idiots are having their little reunion after hours of not seeing each other. 

Should that make me cry? The way they have their voice raised as if they're not at work is kinda really emotional. 

But despite that,  I'm kinda thankful tho. No one's paying me any attention as the journey towards my window feels like forever. 

I sat at my chair being discreet as possible. I feel refreshed.  The least thing I wanted today is dealing with noisy assholes. The stares I got on my way here was already too much to handle. I'm innocent. I didn't do anything.  

"I heard tha--WHOAHH! JI?!"

"Whoahhh!!" 

"Cool" 

I rolled my eyes heavenward. 

So much for being subtle as possible.

 What happened to being discreet, Jihoon? 

I ignored them mouth hanging wide open.  I need to work.  I turned my computer on as a starter.  

"Hey guys. Wait. Jihoon? Wh..What happened to your hair?" Seungkwan had his stop to us when he was supposed to be inside the boss's office and act like an obedient secretary that he surely isn't.  

"What?!" I snapped out. 

Is it their first time seeing a pink haired male?  If so, they're missing a lot.  What a rough life they had there. 

"Your hair"  they are looking at me and finger pointing like I'm sort of a psycho lurking around the busy workplace. What? Are we making a big deal out of it? It's not like it's the first time I dyed my hair pink.  

"Yeah it's pink. Now get over it." I ignored them for the second time.  

I'm working.  I need to see the boss and make my move.  How can I seduce him if I'm just going to slack off. 

"Holy shit. You look fucking cute!" I raised a brow. Am I hearing it wrong? Did that phrase actually came out from Soonyoung's mouth?  I thought he's only capable of saying insults.  

"Yeah.  It really suits you" Wonwoo came after Soonyoung and they all started to give me compliments. Which is quiet odd.    
I mean,  yes.  I heard the color really did suit me the moment the dye dried out yesterday when I went straight to the Salon after I finished work.  But I already expected them to tease the hell out if me when they see me.  Okay.  I misjudged them in that part but can you blame me?  It's the idiot squad we are talking about in here. But all in all,  It was kinda good hearing them like it.

 I wish Seungcheol could compliment me too when he see me. After all,  this is all for him.  My bitterness is kicking in again. 

Enough mind.  Stop ruining the mood. 

"Thank you" is all I said before I started working again.  I don't like being called cute but if Seungcheol was the one who's gonna call me that, the hell with it!  I wouldn't mind. 

As per usual,  I finished my work diligently and fast. For your extra information,  it is not that I'm living my boring life being industrious and boring. Who would want to spend their entire time proof reading novels and negotiating with the weird creativity of the writers? Not me. But i need to. Because aside from the necessity of feeding myself,  i also need to impress the boss so my love life can progress. Corny it may sounded,  I want to have happily ever after too.  

As soon as I finished working for the revised chapters that my current author gave me. I stood up and make my way to the office.

It's showtime. 

I fixed my pink brushed up hair revealing my forehead.  I was told that I looked cute and sexy having my hair pushed back so I'm using it for my own advantage.  Besides,  the goal is to seduce the boss and make him mine again by hook or by crook. 

I knocked the door two times before I turn the knob open,  revealing a godly creature inside.

Holy shit.  Life is unfair.  

Indeed unfair.  While I'm trying so hard to look good and manly, Choi Seungcheol defined exactly what perfection is without even trying. How can someone be that pretty.  It appears like he's endorsing the paper he is holding.  And I'm saying it will sell a million if that's the real case.  

I'm so whipped and corny.  

He was there reading files silently but it looks like as if he was born to be sexy. I'm not having dirty thoughts like what would it be like if I am to be pinned down to that table on all fours, naked.  

Okay.  Maybe I am.  But just a little.  

"Yes? " I almost jumped in shock when I heard him. I did not realize that I have already spent a minute gawking at him, thinking of obscene things we could do in the confines of this room. 

Stop Jihoon.  You are the one who was supposed to seduce, not the other way around. 

I'm sorry, okay? Blame him for being seductive without even trying.   

"Sir Cheol. Good morning." I flashed him a beam. He just raised me a glance and went back to whatever he was doing again again.  

Did he noticed?  How can he?  When he gave me a look and turned away as fast as he could the moment he did. I mentally made an eyeroll. Try harder. 

"I already finished this new file. And sir,  should I talk to Xiyeon to remind her about the dealine?" I softly asked as I slightly but intendedly run a finger through the base of my hair, pretending to be thinking of something. I'm literally flaunting my new look so he can notice and boost my confidence and feed my pride.  

Hey, i need that compliment for science.  

My plan of having his eyes fixated on me was accomplished. He look at me and his eyes stayed for seconds. Not the usual millisecond that he has been giving me.  I mentally grinned. 

He noticed.  Yes! I know he did.  

"I think it's not a good time to call her.  Just gave her time. Adding up to her pressure won't help. Just leave here the files and you can leave." He looked at the files that has his interests invested to. I suddenly have the urge to rip whatever he is reading to its tiny pieces so he will look at me longer.   
Yeah,  he definitely will. But a murderous one.  

I waited for him to say something. For about a minute,  i remained standing.  He gave me a questioning look of what was I still doing here when he clearly said I could already leave.  

But is that it? Won't he say that the color suits me just like before?  Aren't he gonna give  me something i can brag about?  I deserve a little boost here. 

Okay.  No anything.  

I turned around annoyed.  Okay fine.  My hair color don't matter to him.  He can enjoy reading that hideous file.  He can marry it even.  I don't care.

I was about to slam the door close when I heard him call my name.  Note the sweet minus the formality tone when he called me by name.  

This is it.  He's going to say I look good in pink. That pink is my color and i really do look sexy having my hair pushed back. 

"Yes, Sir? " i made my voice sound gentle and sweet, hanging low. 

This is it. He's going to shower me compliments.  Hell!  I think he will give the chance I'm asking for weeks now.  

"Please kindly remind everyone that the meeting is in 15 minutes. You may leave. " the bubbles that surrounded me popped out in rush.  I almost send him curses.  I had my hopes up there in highs.

Won't he really give me any comment regarding my new look?  Is it not really cute like everyone was saying? 

I stepped out the entrance controlling hard the urge to slam it loudly with a middle finger raised in the air.  I want to hate him but he's just so hot.  Hell,  i won't say it in his face.  He's pissing me off.  

"And  uhm,  Jihoon?" The door is on its way to closing when I heard him again.  This time,  my hopes climb in a ladder again.  I'm not expecting him to give me compliment I deserved this time. But who am I kidding?  I'm anticipating!  This is really it. HE IS GOING TO SAY IT SUITS ME. 

"Please tell Seungkwan to make me a coffee for the meeting. Thank you."  

OKAY.  I'm done.

I shut the door close and dwell on my dismay. I'm not the type to be emotional over petty things like for example,  my crush did not noticed me but at this moment, I really wanted to cry.  It was so disappointing.  

From this moment,  I hereby declare that I hate pink.  

I informed the idiots about the meeting just like I was told before going to the pantry. 

Way to impress.  

Since I still have time and I'm being pretty stupid ( at least pretty), i decided to be the one to make his coffee. I should have bought a love potion so everything will be easy-bitsy but I don't belive in them. As corny as it sounded,  I started to believe in true love the first time I saw Seungcheol. That fast.  

I made two mugs of coffee and have my way to the conference room of our department, carrying both mugs. I bet everyone is already in there since there are only five minutes left before the meeting start.

As I stand in front of the door,  I realized that I am holding two mugs so how the hell am I supposed to open the barrier between me and the other dimension? I actually forgot my brain at the pantry. I should have brought a tray with me so stupid problems like this wouldn't happen.  

I was busy scolding myself,  questioning my life choices when I felt someone's presence inside a tolerable proximity.  

"Do you need help?" A girl in styled ripped denim pants and back sleeveless top fill the silence in front of the closed door.  I look at her and yes,  she's pretty. 

"Uhm, do you mind opening the door? " I'm not that stupid to say I don't when in fact there is. 

"Sure. By the way,  I like your hair.  It's cute. Here. " She flashed me a smile before opening the door for me,  in which I gladly returned. I appreciate the compliment Cheol deprived me of. She's pretty and kind.  That's rare. 

When the door opened,  Seungcheol looked up to see who it was.  I was surprised to see him smiling at my direction.  He smiled at me. 

"Yebin!"

Okay.  Maybe not at me.

I forgot to mention I was beside this pretty girl who walked like a fucking model to Seungcheol's direction. Damn that long legs. 

"What are you doing here, Angel?" Cheol stood up to level her. She is tall. And what?  Angel?  Really?    
Now should I hate her? 

No. Jihoon. We're not sure if she is his cousin or aunt.  Or girlfriend?  

"Came by to say Hi?  I brought you your favorite. " She handed him a cup of drink with a famous brand logo in it after kissing my Cheol's cheeks.  

Just,  who the hell she think she is? 

"Hey Ji,  aren't you gonna sit?" Seokmin's question woke me up from confusion and building irritation Im starting to have.  I sat down beside Wonwoo who's busy texting to give a damn. 

"What's with two coffees?" Soonyoung asked me. I gave him a glare.  So much for reminding me with my wasted effort and coffee. Thanks Satan. 

"I'm thirsty. Stop judging my life choices and shut up" I sneered,  letting my gaze rest at the sight in from of me. 

"We have a meeting. Can you wait for me in my office, Angel?"  Angel, angel. Blah blah.  

"Sure Cheolsy. I'll see you later.  Wait. Won! You're here. " Wonwoo looked up and I saw a hint of glee in him when he saw her. Cheolsy? That's fucking corny. 

"Yebin-ah!  Hello. When did you come back?" Wonwoo placed his now locked phone in the table.  I remained quiet. 

"Yesterday. I'm just visiting my baby. Anyway, I'll see you two later. Byeyie"  yeah.  Save the dramatic reunion for later or never.  We have a meeting just a minute from now.  Go home, sweetie.  And what? Baby? Come on!  

"Yeah." Wonwoo waved at her as she exited the room. Can't she exit the building too?  She's not doing anything bad to me but she's making my blood boil in maximum degree.   

 

The meeting finally ended after long 45 minutes. It's finally lunch.  And if you're wondering what happened to the coffees?  I drank it all by myself. What? I'm sure it tastes better than the Starbucks's coffee that Yebin girl gave to him.  

"I really don't want to go. Ahh.  Relief" Soonyoung have his hand in Seokmin chair as we are eating in our usual spot. 

The meeting we just had was about the conference to be held in Daegu for two days. There should be two representatives to go.  Seungcheol decided it to be just him,since it was his hometown, and Wonwoo, accompanying him since the latter attented college in there. He should have chosen me to come with him instead.  I really want to come back there with him. 

My mental nagging was interrupted when I spotted Seungcheol with that Yebin girl enter the restaurant we're currently eating.  

I deserve a little piece here. 

"Won!" The girl called out and they approach our table. I made a mental eye roll . If my eyes has mouth,  it will complain on the dizziness of rolling around often.  

"Hey, you were  the cute guy earlier. Hi again." She smiled at me again the moment she saw me. She's so pretty that I really want to hate her. I just gave her an awkward smile.  How else should I react? 

"Do you mind guys if Cheolsy and I sit with you? Please.Thanks" she sat beside me while Seungcheol sat to the chair across me without hearing if we're letting them.  Now.  This is awkward. 

"I'm Yebin. I really like your hair. It really suit you. You're too cute." She started talking to me in a friendly manner. I feel really awkward.  Like,  I can feel her energy rise high above me. 

I saw Seungcheol eyed me in my peripheral vision. Not that I'm eyeing him too.  

"Angel, don't bother him."  Yeah. tell your girlfriend to stop pestering me while I'm eating.  Or I'll throw her my spoon. 

"But I just wanna know him. " She pouted.  Just how old is she? 8? She thinks she's cute?  She is.  The list of why I'm irritated goes on.  

"I'm Jihoon" I said in a flat voice before drinking my cola. 

"Jihoonie why are so cute? Can I pinch your cheeks? Please."  What the heck?! 

"Yebin. Enough. Let Jihoon live. You can't just pinch him, angel." Why is his voice so sweet and gentle when talking to her?!

"But babeeee! " she whines. Babe? What is this? I look at Cheol blankly. I caught him looking at me. What? All along he has a girlfriend?  

"Come on. Which hotel are you staying? I'll drive you there. I still have work to do." Cheol stood up ready to leave. 

"My things are already in your house. I'll stay there. Bye Jihoonie. Cheolsy is grumpy. Nice meeting you and you too Jihoonie and Wonnies friends. Babye." She stole a kiss in my cheek and headed in the exit. I swear I saw a dark look crosses Cheol's eye before they went away. 

She's the one who kissed me!  Excuse me.  

Is that really his girlfriend? Since when did he became a pedophile? Sure he looks like she's in her twenties but her mental age screams five.  

"What the hell was that?" Exactly what I wanted to ask Soonyoung.  

"Don't mind it guys. Yebin is really like that." Wonwoo says a matter of factly way. 

"Who is she?  That Yebin girl?" Shoot.  I've been dying to ask that the moment I saw her at the conference room's entrance.  

"Kang Yebin is Seungcheol's most special girl." Wonwoo's answer made my heart constricted.

 Special girl?  Sure she is.  She's even living with him.  Special.  I used to be his special too.  

The rest of the day feels so slow. We resumed working. Cheol has already returned hours ago.

I feel betrayed like a bucket of water was poured straight to my head. 

I finished my final report but not like the usual,  I don't feel like coming inside his office. But I need to or I'll get scolded again. 

"Sir." I drag my heavy steps inside and I handed him the paper before preparing to leave again. I remained standing with heavy shoulders waiting for his instruction.  I can't just leave without him telling me.  He's the boss.   
I don't have the energy to pull a flirty remarks now. Or be witty.  Or flirty.  

"Sorry about Yebin. She's just like that. Your hair suits you." He said low but fond.  I feel irritated. 

"Sir, can I leave the room now?" I avoided eye contact which is not very hard to do since he's use to not throw me any glance. 

"Sure. You may" I heard the confuse tone of his voice but I chose not to mind it.  I left the room and went to the comfort room wishing for comfort since it's called a fucking comfort room. 

I've been dying to hear him say I suited the color but when he did,  I wish he did not. 

I washed my face and stayed there for five minutes calming myself before leaving.  I might have to punch somebody to completely calmed down. 

That day,  I went home with a heavy heart.   
\-------------------------

The loud crying of my phone woke me up from my deep slumber.    
I hissed and I almost threw curses when I answered the phone.  

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM EACH PEASANT? " I calmly said to the other line.  I'm calm. At least my calmest.   Fite me.  

"Where in the goodness are you? Do you have any idea what time is it? Seungcheol is waiting. " Wonwoo give a sharp point in every word he just uttered. 

I look at the clock resting in my wall.  Holy shit! 

"Fuck. I'm sorry.  I'll be there promise.  Bye " i dismissed the call and hurriedly took a shower. Good thing that I already fix the things Im going to bring. 

 

"I'm very sorry I'm late." I chased my breathing when I reached the parking lot panting amd sweating.    
Fuck that was exhausting. And did I already mentioned that I hate running? 

"Jihoon?  What happened to you?  Why are you here?" Fuck it.  Don't tell me Wonwoo didn't tell him?  

I'll skin that asshole alive. Just wait and see.  

Just be thankful I owe you this.  Or you're  a dead meat.  

 

\---------------------------------+---------------


	17. Chapter Fifteen Daegu day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first day in Daegu
> 
> (I suck at writing summary, forgive me.)

"Jihoon, wait." I was about to leave the building when Wonwoo called my name. 

"What's your problem?" I stopped exiting the almost building. It's 10 in the evening and I badly want to rest.  Blame my boss for giving me workloads. 

"Pack your bags and wake up early tomorrow. " he solemnly said.   

I furrowed a brow.  

"You're going with Seungcheol" he seemed to understand my body languafe cause he answered the confusion written all over my face. 

What is he saying? Going where?  Daegu?  

"Aren't you suppose to go with him? " it was so clear that he is the one who will go to Daegu with Seungcheol when we had a meeting just a day ago. It's clearly stated that the boss wants the guy called Wonwoo to go with him.  Wonwoo is definitely not my name my parents gave me. 

"Yes. But I have an affair to handle so I'm asking you to go instead."  He has this stoic face that if we're not friends i will definitely judge that he has a problem with everything and with everyone. 

Is he ordering me around? But he is not my boss. We're equal in here.   

"So? It's your problem. What made you think I'll go?" The way he was acting, it seems like he's confident that I'll cover for him.  

"I'm tired Wonwoo. I'll go home. " I started to walk away again.  He can't just send me away just because he can't. 

"C'mon Ji. We both know you do want to go with Seungcheol. You're dying to go, admit it" he's following my journey outside the building. Why is he following me?  And now he's being too cocky for my liking. Why not go back to being a nerd? I'll prefer that over this side of him. 

"Who say so?"  I'm still walking not looking back. Sure, I was dying to go with Seungcheol so we can have quality time together (and more chances of seducing him) but I'm not going to give that away. Not in his wildest dreams. Especially when he is being like this.  

"Don't you really want to? I thought you want him back? Right, Woozi? " Istopped walking, frozen on my spot. My eyes, dilated ten times bigger that the original. I felt a shiver run down my nerves.

Wha-How? 

He is now standing in front of me as if scrutinizing my very move. 

"I know you're Woozi. You've been acting really weird and it's not my fault I'm observant. It's not that hard to decipher."  Not that I'm hiding that identity with all my life but it's still a surprising news.  Yes, Wonwoo has his way of knowing and I don't really mind.  It's just that Woozi is hated by all of Seungcheol's friends. They loathed Woozi for leaving Cheol.  

Does that mean he hates me now too?  Like Mingyu?  But I thought we're friends? I guess that will expire this night.  

"So you hate me now? What do you want?"  I don't mean to sound bitter and mean but that's what naturally came out. It's just so unfair that everyone is hating me without knowing my side of the story. Yes, I was stupid but who are they to judge me? I was hurt too.  

"What? No. No Jihoon. I don't hate you. Not a bit. Look,  Sorry for doing this." He sighed. 

"Mingyu and I got into fight so I really need to talk to him. Please. Consider this as a help. I know you need this chance too. I'm helping you get Seungcheol back. I'm on your side. I'm not mad at you." Gone is the mockery in his voice. Now I see the the person I was friends with. The is sincere and warm Wonwoo. Better.  

I sighed. 

"I'm not sure if I still want to go tho." I exhaled and looked down. Not that I don't want to anymore. It's just that, I'm afraid of whatever may happen when it's just the two of us. I'm afraid it will be over. Truth is, I'm really scared. Especially when I met Yebin. 

My internal battle with my tragic flaw dissipated when I felt a touch on my left shoulder. 

"Listen Jihoon. I could have ask Soonyoung or Jisoo to go and I can make them, they will go in a heartbeat. But I want you to accompany Seungcheol. I will still be wanting you to go even if Mingyu and I didn't get into fight. I know you need this. You both need this. And trust me, it will be worth it."  I am not the kind of guy who is easily swayed by dramatic dialogues and effect but there is something in his words that makes me wannna believe his words and trust him.

Should I? He is my friend after all.  

And now I know sometimes I have to question my life decisions.  

I regret it. 

I hate him for making me run early in the morning and shouting in the other line of the phone.

Why am I so gullible?  

"Here." I drank the water Cheol handed me in a flash,  making the bottle void of anything. I'm thirsty and exhausted from doing the morning relay.  Thanks Jeon. 

"I just got the text from Wonwoo. He should have had said so earlier. Let's go. We'll be late." I'm still half dying and panting when he get my bags resting on the ground. 

Why is he so irritated? Is it my fault? It's all that Wonwoo guy's fault! 

Seungcheol put the bags on the backseat. That leave me sitting on beside him in front.  Not that I'm complaining or wishing for it. 

He opened the door for me.  

Gentleman my ass!  I'm not a girl.  Is this what he does whenever he's with his girlfriend?  Dude! That sounds salty. 

"Thanks" that's for making an effort.  

He made a turn and got in the driver seat just after I was inside.  

Now this is awkward.  

"I'm sorry you're stuck with me. It's not like I planned it."  My bitterness says Hi without me knowing it. I don't want him suspecting that I planned any of it even if I part of really did want to come.  

"I didn't say anything. "  He started to drive.  We're out of the parking lot now. 

"Just saying. " I retorted. It's better to be clear.  I don't want to be called unprofessional for the second time.  

He was about to rebut when his phone rung. Saved by the bell. 

"I'm sorry. Need to anwer this. " he put the plug in his ear. 

I almost made an eyeroll when I learned who's in the other line. I even want to puke in an instant.  

"Angel. Why? Anything wrong? " i mimicked him under my breathe. He won't see me anyway. He's busy flirting with the other flirt on the line, voice softer than his normal. 

A little respect please. Ex here!!!  

And Eyes on the road fucker. Stop flirting around. I don't want to die just yet. I still have to get you back. I want to shout at him but I just remained quite.  My saltiness won't do us anything. 

Minutes later, I have counted all the digits that could exist in the world including it's roman numerals counterpart but their conversation ain't still finish.  

They are making a novel or something?  

I just rolled my eyes out of irritation. Just imagining Yebin's baby voice makes me want to cover Cheol's ears. I know I'm being irrational but what can I do? Can't I get jealous for once?  I mean,  I'm not jealous.  It's just that, ugh!  Nevermind.  

With all the complaints rested in the back of my head, I drifted to sleep. If their little 'catching up' is still not done by the time I wake up, i might jump off this car.  

\------------------------------

My neck hurts when I woke up.  I noticed that my seat is slightly bent down so I can sleep comfortably.  

Wow!  News flash, someone cares.

 I'm not assuming things.  Who could possibly do that? Except if I was the one who fix myself in my seat when I was sleeping. There's no way in hell. So I know he's the reason behind it.  Shut it. 

He must have felt the shif in my seat because he looked at me while still driving.  The plugs are long gone.  

Congratulations! they finished their novel. It's finally getting published. Please look forward purchasing it from your respective bookstores. 

"I bought take outs. You must be famished." He handed me a McDonald's plactic bag, the other hand is still on a wheel.  

"Thanks." 

I started eating the burger. 

Please don't have a thing on the side of my eyes. That would be awkward as fuck.  I subtlely wipe the sides of my left eyes then the right side. 

I finished eating my two burgers and fries that leave me with nothing to do. 

The silence engulfing us is not tolerable one bit. It's not a comfortable one. The silence is full of anxieties waiting to be heard. 

What to do? I can't sleep since I just woke up. Music.  At least, it will fill the air.  

I aimed to open the player that I later regretted because All Time Low's Remembering Sunday started to play.  

Way of lifting the awkward atmosphere Lee Jihoon. And Really, Alex Gaskarth? 

"How's working with Lee Chan?" He broke the awkward silence first.

What a good choice of topic we got there.  

"He's good. " I replied. Of course Jihoon, why do you think his book got published?  

"I mean. He's young and talented. " that's the best response I can come up with. Blame me for me being awkward for the world's goodness.  

He just nods.  

Wow! Our conversation actually lasted for only a minute.  We're that deep conversationalists. 

We dropped the attempt to have a topic and actually share a conversation.  We knew it will end up in an awkward silence. 

I just fixated my attention to the car's window, hoping the scenery could help me.  

The music shifts to something unfamiliar. Probably a foreign song.  (A/N: Caleb Santos's I need you more today . please please listen to it. It's just so good. ) 

It's good. My head is following the rhythm.  

But I quitted being mesmerized by the song when I comprehended the lyrics.  

Is there some kind of exes theme in today's playlist? 

We get it! Shame on the player. The songs ain't helping one bit. 

I know I could just turn the player off but that will just make the situation 1000x more awkward than it already was and that's the last thing I wanted. 

Okay. This is bad. I can't do this.  

"Ahm, Sir. can... can we stop somewhere? My bladder has filed me a complaint" Halfway through the song, I blabbered. I don't really need to pee but I need a break from this awkward atmosphere.  

"Uh,  sure. There is gonna be a fastfood or anything somewhere here. Can you still hold it in? " Can't the fucking song just finished? That's the reason I'm in this situation.  No.  It's all Wonwoo's fault.  

"I could. Take your time."  We barely look at each others eyes during the whole ride.  I've gotten use to him not looking at me. 

Minutes later, the song finally ended.  Thank God He offered salvation. 

He pulled the car off in front of a fast food chain to drop me. I got off as fast as I could to go to the wash room. I need to pee now, for real. Fortunately, there's not much peolple inside and there's no line for a bathroom use.  

I hurriedly did my thing then I washed my hands after. 

Okay, compose yourself Lee Jihoon. Stop being so anxious about everything. You can do it. This day will end soon.  

Who am I kidding?  It barely starting. 

Okay. I'm helpless. Send help

After giving myself a pep talk,  I came out of the small room to see Seungcheol sitting prettily on a chair near the door probably waiting for me. His left hand is resting under his chin. There's two cokefloats resting on the table. 

It feels so amazing having to know he went after me. I thought he is just gonna wait inside the car.

I felt a familiar warm enveloped my body. 

I smiled.  

Why does he look so good when he's just sitting there? This man, really.  

I walked towards him pretending I didn't ogled at him for a minute. No. Not at all.  

"Ch-, Sir." He stood up when he heard my call. I almost called him Cheol but its seems like he didn't hear my hesitation. 

"Here. " he handed me one of the floats. 

"Thank you, sir."  I beamed at him slightly,  appreciating the drink. Why float tho?  

He opened his mouth then closes it after.  

"Sir? " Did he want to say something?  

"Uh just, nothing. let's go? " okay.  i hope he knows he's being weird. I just nodded and started walking.

I was slightly startled when he pulled the door open for me. If it is just someone acting gentleman, we all know I'll kick him in the shin for making me look unable.  But,  I'll let it slide because he is my Boss. I can't just kick him.  Lie.  

We started walking our way to his car in silence. I roamed my eyes in the area.

The weather is just so good. It's not that hot and the temperature is not that down. It's a good time to take a walk especially for the likes of Wonwoo. 

Wonwoo. 

I heaved a sigh. I hope Wonwoo is right.  

"Ah" I was pulled back from getting lost in my thoughts when I was pulled closer to someone's chest. I heard a soft thud.  

"Watch out!! " I heard him shout before releasing me but not letting go of my wrist. What's happening? 

I followed his gaze and found a bicycle running fast.

I eyed his grip into mine, still confused of what just had happened.  He also looked down to what i was interested in. 

He let go of my wrist as fast as he could.  

I saw him furrowed his brows like he is annoyed over something. 

What? 

Is he annoyed because he got to touch me? Really? 

"Watch your surroundings. Tsk. " he said avoiding my gaze.My eyes becomes small.

Did he just snapped at me? Is it my fault the boy doesn't know how to drive a fucking bicycle?! 

"I'm very sorry sir. I sure know he's gonna cross in front of me which is way very predictable. " My sarcasm is filling the unspoken annoyance that visited me. I walked faster to get in his car, not waiting for him.

Is he really blaming me?  He's unbelievable! 

I felt his pressence beside mine inside the car. 

He was about to say something when I cutted him off by pretending to sleep. 

Maybe Wonwoo is wrong.

I forced myself to sleep the frustration I'm having for half an hour but I opened my eyes when I failed the challenge. Why can't I fall asleep so I don't have to deal with him for now. You just woke up.  Have you already forgotten? 

Fine. 

I took out my phone. Fortunately, I downloaded some game application. I'll just play wordscapes using it. That would be better.  

"Uhm we will be needing a hotel to check in." He broke the silence (and tension)  

Okay.  It's not like I can ignore him forever. Everybody knows I can't do that. 

"I thought you already did? Wonwoo said so. " I looked at him while he is driving. Damn that veins im his arm. 

Focus on the game,  Jihoon. 

"I did.  But since I thought Wonwoo would come with me instead of you,  I just took one room with two beds. " He scratches his temple. 

"So? It's not like I'll rape you. If you don't like sharing a room with me, you can just say so. " before I could stop myself, I already said it. He didn't like the idea, I'm certain.  

"I didn't say that." He retorted slightly annoyed.

"It's what you really wanted to say. Admit it. I'm so sorry because you have to share a room with your ex boyfriend." I tapped my phone's screen aggressively. Im annoyed too, okay?

"What are you saying? I'm just worried you'll feel uncomfortable sharing a room with me. " He said defensively,  feeling outraged.  

"Why would I? " i asked busying myself in playing wordscapes again. He's making a big deal out of it. It's not like we didn't fuck a couple of times.  

How long do I have to endure this ride? I want to be with him but im thinking otherwise because of the situation.  I know no matter how hard we try to act casual and professional, we'll just end up stumbling things from the past. It's what scaring me.  

"Drop the topic. Can't we eat first?  I'm hungry. " I managed to escape the current topic. He didn't answer. He just stopped the car in front of the first restaurant he saw. I did not wait for him to come out. He didn't say he's hungry or if he's going inside with me. 

"Please order me something, I'll just make a phonecall." I heard him say before i was completely gone inside. Is he gonna call his girlfriend again? I just rolled my eyes. 

I ordered jjigae for us. Cola for a drink for me and lemon juice for him. I don't know what he likes so there. 

"Let's eat" he sat in front of me and started to eat. I did the same thing,  busying myself. 

When he finished his food,  he reached for a bottle of cola.  

"Uh,  that's mine. Here's yours"  I pushed the glass of lemon juice in front of him and retrieved my cola.   
Cola is for me. No way that will change.

He took a sip and made a face.  

"Is this a lemon juice? "  I just nodded.  My mouth is too full so I can't voice out a yes. 

"Jihoon, I, I can't drink or eat anything that is lemon. " he sounds apologetic. 

Pardon? I look at the glass he's holding. 

"Really? Im sorry. I didn't know"  now I'm guilty.  

Is he allergic to lemon? Please no.  

"It's fine. I could just order something else" he was about to stand up when I reached for his hands. 

"Here. You can have my cola"  never mind I cant live without it. It's my fault anyway.  

"It's fine. Jihoon." He still went up and order something.  Is he angry?  But I didn't really know.  

After that incident, we went back to the car. We didn't share any glance or words. 

I guess I just gotta endure another awkward hour and a half with him. 

I heaved another sigh.   
'Im sorry Won.  I think I fucked the whole things up... Again'  I texted Wonwoo and hyung.

Why do I keep on messing things up?    
\--------------------------------

I felt a soft touch on my shouder.    
"Ji,"  I opened my eyes.  I have to blink again because Seungcheol's face is just inches away from me.  

"We're here" he said. I didn't know I slept for the rest of the ride. I got off the car immediately.  

"This way. " he leads.  

Our bags are really not that heavy since we're just spending two days in here so we didn't ask for any assistance.

"Are you sure you're okay with just one room? " We are waiting for the elevator when he asked me that question. 

"I'm fine. " I muttered. Does he have to ask that again? If he really has an issue sharing a room, he could just check in for another one. That's not hard to do.  I didn't voice that out because i don't want us to argue again.  It's exhausting.  All we did since morning is to snap at each other.  I run out of energy for that.  

"Okay. " i heard him before the elevator opened. 

Another silence guys. Another sickening one.

By the time we reached the 8th floor, there are just three people left inside the elevator.  Me,  Seungcheol and a guy probably in his late thirties.  

We were quiet the whole time until we smelled something rotten. It was really bad.  

I spare my boss a glance as if asking him if he farted but he is also eyeing me like asking me the same thing. 

I didn't! 

I shook my head to deny. There's no hell in hell that I'll fart inside the elevator. It's disgusting. 

He shook his head too. Now. That leaves the case to the man standing before us.  

The ting sounds resonated the confined space and the man we are accusing of farting is now running in the hallways of twelfth floor. 

We look at each other. His left hand covering his nostrils mirroring what I'm doing.

We locked gazes and before we know it, we are laughing hard enough our calories decreasing. 

The tiny space of the elevator was filled with laughter caused by the man in the tenth floor.

We heard another ting and we ate finally at the seventeenth floor. We got off the lift. Our laugh didn't even subsided. 

"That's insane! " I said with difficulty of breathing.  

"He could have had use the bathroom on the ground floor" He replied still laughing,  clutching his hurting abdomen. 

"Yeah right". I wiped the tears forming into my eyes for laughing so hard after years. 

That feels so good.  

After retrieving ourselves from the hilarious incident that took place inside the elevator,  we are once again engulfed in an awkward silence but this time,  there's no tension hanging in between. 

"Uhm, I'm so sorry about earlier. " I attempted to break the awkwardness.  

"For what? " he asked confused.  

"For earlier. I really didn't know you can't drink lemon. " I looked down accepting defeat. I really feel bad about it tho.  

"Don't sweat about it, Ji. It's really fine." He's trying to lighten the ambiance which is I'm thankful of. 

"And for always snapping at you with immature intentions.  Just, sorry for everything. " it feels like it's the perfect moment to say that. I really mean it.  

He smiled.  A most genuine smile he has given me since the Minho's office incident. 

"It's okay. I'm sorry too. For shouting at you earlier when the bike almost hit you." If somebody will see us being dramatic in the hallway, we will surely earn a laugh.  

"Accepted." I smiled too.  But I had to look elsewhere except his gaze because i might make a mistake of kissing him or actually raping him in the hallway. 

Stop your obscenity Jihoon. 

"Sir,  look.  4643. It's our room" i pointed the door in his back. He faced it immediately. He opened the door with the card. 

I wanted to lie down.  

"And uh, Ji. Just call me Seungcheol or Cheol" before I knew it,  he's already inside leaving the door half open. 

I smiled sweetly and genuinely for the first time today him being the reason behind it.  

Cheol.  

I entered the room and folded my smile fast enough so Cheol wouldn't see.  He may think I'm creepy or something.  I don't want to ruin the mood. 

"So, left or right bed?  Your choice" he said beaming at me unhesitatingly.  

"I'll use the right bed.  I don't really like lights that much. " I place my bags in the mattress.  

"Okay. You can still rest. We will leave at 2:00 PM. We still have an hour and a half to spare. I'll shower first" I tried hard to prevent myself from blushing on his last words , so I lay down on the bed facing the wall. I know he don't mean anything dirty by that. It's just me who has a green mind.  

"Okay,  Cheol"  I let myself call him in that nickname since he permitted me so. 

I heard a clink.

It made me feel giddy thinking of the things that happened just a while ago.    
\---------------------------------------------------

"Wait, Cheol.  It's the same school we attended in high school, right?" I was suprised when his car pass the entrance of the school.  I almost not recognize the place but when I saw the soccer field beside the gym, I know it's the same school. It should be. 

"Yes. Pledis annually donates books in here. Come on. " he opened the car door for me while I let my mouth hang open.

It's been a while since I've been here. I haven't been in this place since I left Daegu eight years ago. 

Bittersweet huh? 

"Come on Ji,  Ms. Jung is waiting." I didn't realize he was holding my hand until it's sweating.  

"Cheol,  uhm,  my hand? " his hands feels warm and familiar but he didn't want a pool out of it,  don't he?    
I was a taken a little aback when we reach the school's library.  Not much has change.  

I must admit it gotten prettier and wider with a number of shelves added but nothing really changed. I feel a familiar thug of my chest. We have a lot if memories in this facility.  

"Coups! " I looked back when a semi-high pitched voice reached my hearing organ.  

"Ms. Jung. Good afternoon. " Cheol hugged a woman in her fifties and greeted her.

 Coups?  He's still called Coups here? 

"It's been a while, my child.  How are you?" She releases Cheol while I remain standing.  It seems like they're close. 

"I've been good Miss Jung. You look younger after a year huh. " Cheol flashes her a smile that also made me smile. This man's happiness is just contagious. 

"Stop kidding me young man.  Oh hey! " She faced me when she noticed that i am standing close. She looks familiar tho. Where did I see her? 

"Good afternoon, ma'am" I greeted politely. 

"Cheol wait, isn't he Woozi? You're Woozi right? Do you still remember me? Jung Eunji?" She bombarded me questions and that's when I realized that she's the same librarian as before.  That's why she looks familiar.

I flashes her a smile and nodded. 

"You're hair is still pink huh. I knew you two would end up together.  And I was right. " she pointed at out entangled hands.  

Oh, i thought he pulled his hand out?  

"No. Miss Jung.  Ahm,  we're just friends. " i denied. I don't want Cheol to become uncomfortable. Not in this situation. 

"Lies. Anyway, Have you been to the president's office? She's been asking for you" Miss Jung seems excited. 

"Do you want to come Ji? It's okay."  He queries. 

"Cheol, can I wonder around a bit? I'll just wait for you here. " i miss this place so much.  

"Sure.  I'll message you when we're done discussing about the book donations. Come on Miss Jung" he beamed me a smile in which I gladly returned before accompanying Miss Jung. 

"I'll see you later, Woozi. " Miss Jung waved a hand to me. 

Woozi.

It's been so long since someone called me Woozi. 

I look around the area walking behind shelves.    
This spot is where I confessed to him for the first time. And the shelf which contains thick almanacs and encyclopedias is where I usually hide when I'm stalking him so I won't get caught.  

I reminisced every memory we shared in the large room of books before stepping outside and wondering.  

I climbed the stair and walk towards the room at the end of the hallway.  The music room.  

When I'm having a short break and Cheol is in his class back then, I often went to this room. I remember singing for him once when we grew closer.  I touched the piano and played then same song I played with Cheol,  chasing the giddy feeling I've felt before .  I'm still feeling evertime he's near. 

When I finished playing in the music room, I made turns to check the other rooms too, including my room and Cheol's.

 After I wondered around a lot of rooms, I climbed the stairs once again to see if the rooftop is still the same as before.  I hope so. It carries a value for me. 

When I opened the door, the familiarity of th place embraced me along with the warm breeze. This is the place where I first saw Choi Seungcheol crying.  

This part of the school is the most special place for me after the library.  This is the place where he first let me have a glimpse of who he really is.  The place where he let me hugged his pain away.  

I realized that this school is where I found my happiness in. Every part of this school has a memory of what I had with Seungcheol.  From the moment I saw him reading one of Jane Austen's book and then me, stalking him to the moment he finally let me in.  

I smiled at the thought.

I've never thought I'll have the same feelings for him after these long years. I'm so whipped. 

"Enjoying the view?" I was so busy remembering the past that I didn't notice a presence settled beside mine. 

"Cheol.  How did you know I was here?" I looked ahead of me enjoying the view the place is giving me.  

"I just know that you'd be here." He said laying his back on the cement railings.  

"This place didn't change at all. " i commented.  

"I thought so too but it did change. We are just saying that because we have memories buried in this place." I looked at him.  That was deep. 

"Hmm.  Maybe." I smiled.  

"How's the meeting?" I tried to avert the topic. I'll just miss him badly even tho he's right beside me when we dwell on the past.  I've had so much of that.  

"It went well. As expected. " the sky is slowly becoming a transient rose quartz and serenity.  It's 5:50. 

"Do you come here often?" He is loved by the people in this place just like before even tho he used to be a loner.  

"In this school or just the rooftop? " he asked me with a smile not leaving his lips. I can see him since I'm facing the view while his back is turned on it.  

"Both?" I look down.  The field is visible in my spot.  Aestethic. 

"I'm the one who attends the meeting annually. And as for this particular place, not much. This is my first time again after you know, you left me. I was more often on that videoke bar you've taken me before." His answer made me look at him. He is smiling but I swear,  I saw a glint of sadness cross his face.

"I was hoping I'll see you there before. But you're nowhere. "  he added.  I bit my lips.  

"I-- I'm sorry. " I apologizes just audible enough for both of us. 

"No.  It's alright.  I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. " his eyes beamed with mirth and sincerity.  The, same eyes I fell in love with.  

"Still,  I'm sorry Seungcheol.  Really.  For everything." He messed my hair a bit and smiled. 

"Eyy. Stop the drama. Come on. We're friends, right?  So it's okay. "  friends.  Okay. I'll settle with just being friends for now. 

"Let's go.  Let's say our goodbye to the elders so we could eat. I'm already hungry." He walk first towards the door.  

"You're always hungry. " I let a chuckle before following behind him.  

We bid our goodbye to the elders and decided to eat before going back to the hotel we are staying in.

This time he is the one eho ordered us food and thank God there's no lemon juice in the menu. 

After pigging out for dinner we decided to retire and call it a day a little earlier. The conference is tomorrow and we both know it's gonna be a long day. 

We took a separate shower and lay down on our respective places.  Im on the right bed while he's on the left.  

"Goodnight, Zi. " He turned the lamp.  

Zi.  He called me Zi.  

I felt a familiar hurricane circulates my stomach cause by not just butterflies but the whole clan of winx club.  

"Goodnight, Cheol" I uttered before drifting to dream land.  

Maybe Wonwoo is right all along. 


	18. Daegu Trip Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smutty ahead;)

I woke up not caring to know if it is still morning or lunch.  

My slumber was too good and ease to give a damn about the time. 

I stir a little in my bed.

Yesterday feels so strange.  I never thought that we can really manage a day  together without our bantering about the absurdities or anything that don't have any sense.

We're both nonsense individuals at times,  I admit.  

It feels so good and light.   

If I am being honest to myself right now,  I would  say that despite the fact that it was the longest sleep I had for the first time since I saw him again,  I can't help it but feel anxious about the problems that are yet to exist.  I thought something like yesterday could only happen inside my daydream.  

A dream. 

I touched my left cheek the moment the world dream crossed my mind.  I shut my eyes cold and close to feel my hands caress my own flesh. 

What was that? 

It felt so unreal to be real. 

Did he really kissed me in my dreams? 

 

Wow.  Im still dreaming about him when he's literally just inside the same room as me.  

I pulled out the pillow my head was lying in not too long ago and hugged it tight. 

Ugh, I still not want to wake up.

I want to sleep again and continue my dream. Why do we always end up waking up in the most exciting part of our dreams? Unfair. 

"Good morning sleepyhead" His soothing voice entered my ears.  If this is the sound I'll wake up with every morning why not? I opened my eyes planning to greet him back.  

WHAT THE FUCK!!  

I turned around to the other side of the bed and didn't dare looking back. Now this is a good morning. 

"Err.  Good morning? " I said and pulled the comforter higher till it meet my neck.  Shittt.  

"The conference is at 4. If you want to wonder around the area,  you can. Do as you please.  We still have time" I heard him from my back not too near or too far away from me.  Just a tolerable proximity since the space between beds aren't that wide.  

"Uhm,  a.... aren't you gonna wear a.. You know.." Okay.  The view is too good for my morning. Too good that I want to run. 

Why the hell the heaven is punishing me by giving me a sight of a shirtless man with hair still dripping wet? He screams sex early in the morning.  

The audacity! 

I mean, I know he's got a hot body and toned muscles and firm abs but at least wear a shirt or I'll rape him in a heartbeat. 

Wow Jihoon.  Acting like a virgin, eh?  

Nevermind.  Like I said yesterday,  it's not like we haven't fuck a couple of a hundred times. Shut up mind.  

I pulled out the blanket which was hugging my body and sat down but not looking at him.  I don't trust myself enough.  

"Oh." I heard him said.  Yeah.  Oh! 

"I'm sorry. I'm just used not wearing a shirt after shower at home. " I later hear the rush sounds of moving.  

"It's okay. " certainly not.  Well you had a good view.  Stop it.  

"There. " I heard him say before I felt his pressence in front of my sitting body on top of the mattress. 

Now I can look at him .

"Zi,  are you blushing?" My heart jumps out of my chest by hearing the nickname.  Is he teasing me?  I felt my cheeks burned.  This man will be the death of me. 

"I'm not." Please tell me i don't look like a cherry tomato right now. 

"Ooh. Our Woozi is shy. Come on. Get up" He teases me.  

What happened to my arrogant boss?  Is he really like this in the morning? And why is he calling me with an old nickname?  

Friends Jihoon.  Friends.    
Right.  

I dismissed the thought and let him be.  I don't want to ruin anyone's mood.  

"Get up.  We're eating breakfast. I'm hungry"   The thought of food pushed the thought of wanting to sleep longer away from me.  

I felt my mouth wateted. 

"Where are we eating?" I asked not being obvious I'm famished. Well , Im not.  Not until he mentioned food.  

"Depends on what you want to eat." He answered me with a smile.  

Does he know that he looks 171717 times more handsome with his teeth showing when he smile? Cause fuck,  he sure is.  

A lot of food made a feast inside my head.  Who can say no to food?  Definitely not me.  

"Hahahahaha come on. Take a shower first and we'll go.  I'll just call Minho. " He messed with my hair up while  chuckling before standing up to grab his phone and make a call. 

Okay. That was embarrasing.  My crush heard my stomach growled loudly.  Way to your crush's heart.  

After I took a shower, we went down to grab something to eat.  

"What do you want to eat? " He asked me for the second time today.  Him.  I mentality chukled. 

"Anything that includes coffee" i manage to reply through my wild imagination. I'm being dirty.  

"Still a coffee monster? I remember you ordering the same coffee back then everyday. " I smiled. I'm happy he still remembers it. It felt nice to absorb he still think even just a little fragment of we.  

"And you always love lattés." I remembered.  He smiled back.

Why did we took a lifetime to be like this? I mean, what took us long enough to talk about things like this comfortably? I don't really know. 

As much as I hate just being friends with him,  it felt good.  To have him beside me, giggling about things we still remember. 

"Well,  I know a perfect place for that" I felt a familiar warmth crept on my skin when he held my hand. It's probably just another friendly gesture so he can lead the way but I swear, my stomach did somersaults. 

We crossed street with him still holding my hand. He seems not to mind so why would I?  After all, we're friends.  And friends hold hands occasionally.    
"Do you have your phone and wallet with you?" He asked me like an excited puppy. He revealed another side of him to me. Back then he just have limited emotions to show.  Three to be exact.  First, the cold front he's giving the world,  second is when he's sad cause he is crying.  That's my least favorite side of him.  And then the last one,  when he is happy.  You can know he is happy when he is smiling from ear to ear but it's just like that.  He is either the cold S.coups that the world knew of or he's either happy or sad.  I'm glad he is slowly opening up.  

I nodded to answer his question.  

"Great. Let's go" I was startled when he run like his life isvdepending to it while still holding my hands tightly that got me catching up to him. 

"Faster Zi,  it will be fun" he manage to say in between breathing heavily while running.  Is this another side of him too?  Being all too high? 

"What's so fun about running?" I rolled my eyes. If there's a thing I hate the most,  it will be running. Who loves a stinky sweat dripping down your body? Not me. 

"Whaa- " we hopped inside the bus panting.  

Where are we going? I'm fucking hungry.

"Im hungry" i blurted out still panting when we got seated. 

"Just wait.  I know a perfect place.  You'll like it" I just noticed that he is still holding my hand when I felt a small squeeze he made. I just muttered a 'whatever' to hide whatever the heck I'm feeling.  Sure,  friends do held hands.  But not for an entire ride.  

"Why here? " I asked him with my eyes wondering the forgotten old and familiar place. 

The moment we got off the bus, I realized that we're on a familiar street near the house we used to live before. It is just blocks away from the university.    
It has been a while too. But I'm certain he doesn't know where I lived. Or did he?

"Uhm,  I don't know.  Let's go? "  this time,  i wasn't moved when he grip my hand.  We walked the busy street until we made a turn to the right.  

He gently dragged me in a familiar caffee shop which got wowed cause it's still proudly existing.  It was the same coffee shop I often went to before when we just moved in the area  when I still don't know him.  Well,  I stopped going when I met him which was just after weeks. How did he know this place ?

"It's still here?" I asked still slightly amazed. 

"You know this place? " he furrowed a brow.  So he really didn't know where I lived.  Hmm

"I went here maybe once or thrice a week when we just moved here" i informed him.  He just nodded and said cool.  

We sat on the table in the far end to the left. When we have our orders, we silently eat.  Good thing is things aren't awkward anymore between us and our silence is comfortable.  

Well,  not until a lady came near us.  

"Young man, I see you're here again" I thought she was referring to me but Cheol beamed her his infamous gummy smile. I also saw recognition crossed his eyes.  

"Hello, granny.  It's been two years. Nice seeing you here." Seungcheol stood up to greet the old woman in a respectable manner.  I bowed my head to do the same.  

"You didn't come here last year. Have you already found the guy you were looking for that's why you stopped coming?" She asked an innocent question while I looked at Cheol slightly not getting the conversation they are having.  

"Ah,  that" He looked at me for a brief moment and return his gaze towards the one he's speaking to.

 Okay, not being nosy but I do need a little enlightenment here. 

"You come here every year without fail and you suddenly stopped coming. I guess you already did. Is it him?" She pointed at me and I saw Seungcheol panicked a little.  What is she saying? Who's him?  

"He is Woozi, right?" I blinked my eyes.  Pardon?  She held Seungcheol by his arms. 

"I'm glad he already found you.  He had it tough looking for you,  asking in the streets for people if they know someone who's name is Woozi.  I remember him crying the first time he went here asking me the same question." I lost the semantics of whatever she is saying.  I fixated my faze at Cheol but he just looked away. What?  Did I hear it right ?

"Ahm,  granny,  H-hyejin is calling you" He cutted the old woman who got me all confused an guilty by now.  

"Too bad we have to go.  I'll see you two here again, right?  Seungcheol? You have to promise me you'll come back here with Woozi." Her voice is hopeful and Cheol just said he promised.  After that,  she went to the counter and talked to the girl inside it.   
Gone is the equanimity that surrounded us earlier.  

So long.  It was good while it lasted. 

"So, you really did looked for me? " I managed to voiced out. My heart clenched a little. The guilt is howling over me again.  

He just nod and sip a bit of his latté. He is intentionally avoiding my eyes.  

"Why didn't you mentioned anything? I... I " I really thought way back then that he was just toying around with me.  I didn't know that while I was busy hating him,  he was trying his best to find someone he knew nothing about and he was hurting big time.

 How can I inflict so much pain in someone so dear?  

I sucked.  How cruel can I be?  

"I'm sorry. " i apologized for the number of times. Because I know,  no matter how sorry I was,  i wouldn't change the fact that I have hurt him without me being aware of it.  

I didn't realize that I am tearing up if not for the tear that wetted my cheek. 

"Im really sorry"  I wiped my face with the back of my hand but the tears won't stop streaming down. And now I'm crying.  I'm the one who hurt him so i shouldn't be crying.  I don't have a right to do that. 

"Jihoon, it's okay.  I'm fine" he held my hand as if I didn't hurt him even a bit.  He gave me little squeezes of assurance that it's fine.  But I know, beneath the surface, it will never be fine.  

"It wasn't on my plan to make you cry.  I just wanted to eat.  And Ji,  we're friend's, right?" He gave me a smile while shhng me and I smiled back at him.  

Yeah,  friends.    
\--------------------------------------

We left the hotel at exactly 3:30 in the afternoon on the same day. 

I didn't know how we managed to lift up the mood again after that Café drama but we went back to our place and get ready for the event in peace . That's the reason why we are here in the first place.

When we arrived at the event hall,  the party is about to start. I can see everyone dresses in formal attire and so did we.  I'm not a fan of flashy parties and I can say that the lights are killing me. 

It's business and I hate, it. 

I thought it's gonna be just a conference with just exchanging of ideas and all but I was wrong.  It's a freaking party.  Party for the wealthy and clearly , we are Pledis's representatives so we have to endure.

"Wealthy ass fuckers" I murmured just audible enough for me to hear.    
I heard a chucke.  

I guess that's really not 'audible enough'.  

"Jihoon, just stick with me" Seungcheol said then winked grabbing my waist. I never liked parties but I like his arms around me. .  

After an hour,  the hosts finally showed up saying their sentiments that I didn't get to understand even a tiny bit.  

The talk went on for minutes. We did a lot of talks and of course a few rounds of greetings to a bunch of acquaintance which is not really aquainted to me. 

I sat on one of the available chairs in a far corner of the room. Seungcheol got busy talking to 'a very important person' and I know it's all about business or literature whatsoever. I don't really care.  

I am bored. All i did is to nod and to smile my jaw hurts. I did not signed up for this.  

The only good thing about parties is foods. There's a lot of it. 

I walked through the line of surely delicious food that makes my stomach feast by just its smell to get my reward.  I deserve treats.   

I'm hungry. Fucking hungry.

I plannef to get each treats that lies in front of me.

It's  a buffet and my stomach should be filled.

 I waited patiently as the guy in front of me get his dessert.  Can't he be a litle more faster and let a hungry gentleman to finally eat?  

"Jihoon? " Is anyone calling me?

You're not the only Jihoon in the world,  just get your food and fill me.  My stomach grumbled.  Thanks stomach. 

"Jihoon.  Lee jihoon" i felt a poke on my arms.  So I looked at the the person where the voice is coming from.  

"Don't you not rememver me?" I ceased my forehead. I didn't know that I was famous.  I looked at the guy who is smiling to me from ear to ear . 

 

Wait. I do know him.  

"Kang Daniel?" Is it him? Is this really him?  

"Yep! Easy.  Good to know you still remember me. " i jumped in for a hug because of too much excitement. I missed this dickhead.  

I noticed a few people looked at us so I untangled my short limbs around his neck.  

Wow. He looks good.  Last time I remember, he was still wearing his braces and glasses with his gair flat agaist his forehead. But now,  I can see a manly side of him.  

"How can I forget the nerd who helped me with everything when I transferred school?" I retorted in so much glee.

 Kang Daniel is one of the many friends I made when I transferred school. It's so good to see an old close friend well after so many years again. 

"Shhh. Someone might hear I was a nerd back then. I wouldn't score a chick." I just rolled my eyes jokingly from that statement.  

"Still haven't change. Airy as fuck" I forgot about my hunger for a while. This guy is really a dork.  

"Ahh,  airy,  let's see"  He grabbed my waist and started tickling me in my surprise causing us to gain attention to some who are near to us. My weak point is on my stomach and he seems not to forget that but I wish he just did cause I'm already out of breath for so much laughing.  

I caught his forefinger that he is using to tickle my sides, attempting to stop his cruelty. 

"Ehem" We stopped the fun. Seungheol followed my hand which is still holding Daniel's so I let go.  As I looked at the man who did an intentional cough,  I saw something I couldn't disect cross his eyes.  

Daniel rested an arm on my shoulder which i don't really mind considering he was just like that even then. 

"Cheol." I said not putting mind of whatever I saw.  It's just probably me and my wild imagination.  I beamed him a smile but he didn't return it.  Okay.  

What did I do? 

"Do you want to come? I'll talk to Mansae's representative." He asked me but he is still not smiling.  Another business talk.  Probably. 

"I'm fine here. By the way, Cheol this is Daniel my old friend. " I proudly said.  Well,  I'm really proud to see Daniel now being confident and all,  far more different from the shy and bullied nerd he was before.  

"Huh? He is Cheol? He is y----" I covered Daniel's mouth before he say anything stupid.  This fucker's mouth should be patch upmso he couldn't talk.  

"Ahmm,  Cheol I'm really fine here.  I'm enjoying the, party,  right Dan?  We'll just get some uhm,  food?" I dragged Daniel in a corner a little far from Cheol.

This guy is just stupidly oblivious at times and he might say something that will cause Seungcheol and me in another awkward moment when we are just fine now. 

"He's the, jerk right?  How come you're with him? " Daniel's voice shifted to an annoyed tone.  He is just one of my few friends who knew a little of my past.  

I heaved a humogonous sigh.  I have no other choice but to tell him what really happened cause he was so eager to drop a punch on Seungcheol's godly face. 

"I'm In the one who have wronged him.  So,  please, let's not talk about it"  I fidgetted hoping he'll consider. Daniel is like a brother to me and he gets a little protective at times.  

I was a little startled when he messed my locks up.

"You're stupid.  I pity the guy" He teased in which I sighed for the nth time cause it's true.  I was really stupid.  

"So how's my favorite buddy is doing?" now our conversation is officially starting.  I gave him an eye smile and told him what's been happening to me. And so did he.  I learned that,  after high school,  he took up journalism and he's now working in one of the famous company in the country.   I must say I'm really proud of him and what he have become.  

We spent time reminiscing our limited memories of high school and laughing our ass loud from time to time earning glances from the others but we don't care.  It's not everyday in your life you'll bump into a friend you're really closed with.  

Hours later,  the party ended but Daniel stayed with me while i was waiting for Cheol to finish his business talks. 

"Let's go" Cheol greeted us with a grimace not leaving his face.  He must be tired. 

"Okay.  I'll guess I'll just see you when i see you again." I said to Daniel when Seungcheol arrived on my side. 

"Yeah.  And oh.  I forgot to get your new number." I put my number on his phone and put Jihoonie as a contact name.  He txted me so I can have his digits too.   
"Bye.  I'll see you Ji. " I was startled when he placed a kiss in my left cheek before turning back and leaving.  

"Tsk.  If you're still not finish daydreaming,  I'll just wait inside the car" Seungcheol snapped at me annoyed.  It brought me back to my senses as I watch hin walking away too.  

What the hell was that attitude? 

"Wait. " he didn't stop so I have to run to catch up with him.  

The journey back to our hotel is silent.  It was as if getting back to square one.  I just sighed.  He is just tired.  Must be really tired. 

When we are inside the elevator,  my phone beeped. And it was Daniel.  He send me a wacky picture of him which I laughed off.  

I see Seungcheol rolled his eyes.  What did I do this time? 

"I hope you can sleep tight tonight knowing you did your job so damm well. " There's a visible hint of sarcasm in is tone.  

"What is your problem? I thought we're already okay? " now I'm annoyed too. 

The elevator made a ting sound indicating we're already at the seventeenth floor.  

"If you're going to flirt,  at least do it outside work. You should've said to Wonwoo you couldn't do it so it will save the both of us the trouble. You should have stayed in Seoul." He coldly said before coming out the thin spaced lift.  Leaving me dumbfounded inside.  

What the hell!! That's it. 

I followed him inside our shared room and begun packing.  I'm bot being dramatic. I just need to cool off. Away from his heated head. 

I didn't know what I did wrong what im sure about is he is angry.  If he's exhausted from talking too much,  there's no need to drag me in his misery.  

"What are you doing? " he asked when he noticed the noise im making. 

"Im going back to Seoul." I replied coldly. 

"What?  So you can freely flirt? " he asked mocking.  I shot him a glare.

What is really his problem? That's what, he wanted right?  To get rid of me?  I don't get him. 

"Yeah.  So you can sleep tight tonight" i can't control my mouth especially without knowing why he is being like that. 

"No, you're not leaving. " he blocked the door . Wow deja vu,  except that before i was the one who's keeping him inside.  

"Get out sir.  I'm leaving" I firmly said. Holding my bags in my both hands.  I don't like this new side if him. It's too dark.  

"No. " he threw my bags away creating a violent sound echoing inside the room.  

"What the hell is wrong with you?" My attempt of getting my bags back is denied when he kicked the innocent thing farther away from my reach.  

"I said no!" His voice is cold and angry. I rolled my eyes and walk over the bags when he grabbed me by my shoulder.  

"Tell me, what do you fucking wan--" before i could finish asking what the hell do he really wants, he's already kissing the living daylight from me. It is harsh and violent kiss while he pinned me in the door frame pressing his body against mine. 

I didn't kissed back at first. I'm too confused by his actions to swallow everything that is happening. 

His kiss went a little down sidewards, pressing a harsh taste of my jaw down to my throat. He is licking and sucking too hard to leave marks.

His kiss went up again to suck my lower lips, still harsh and needy. He bit my bruised lips so I whimpered in pain causing him to have an access to explore my cavern.

Sometimes,  I just really don't understand him. 

I kissed back frustrated eliciting a little moan as I felt something hard poking the sides of my hips.   
He is moving too fast. Pressing me a little harshly on the door while unbottoning my upper body and tracing my collarbone with his tongue.  His other hand is everywhere on my lower body,  exploring. 

When he succeeded undressing my upper half, I felt him pinch my clothed tigh roughly before wrapping my legs in his waste. Then he came back assaulting my lips hungrily.  

Next thing I know,  I am put on the top of the bed with him still hovering over me,  hungrily sucking and biting.  

I screamed in pain and pleasure when he tugged my left nipple while still sucking my neck hard. He flicked it before ducking his head down low to suck the sensitive bud and played it with his expert tongue. What got me yelling is when he bit it way too roughly making me hissed in pain.  

"Cheol" I called him but he seemed not to care.   
I closed my eyes.

This is not love making. Not at all.

I shivered when I felt my nakedness. I didn't know he had already removed everything i was wearing. 

He gripped my hip clawing like he wants to rip it apart from my body. 

"He touched you here." I heard him say before pinching it and grinding against me violently.  

"And you let him" he gritted his teeth while still grinding raw into my nakedness and still clawing my now bruised hip.  

I don't really know what is he talking about right now but I'm sure of one thing. He is furious. 

I felt moists forming the sidelines of my eyes. 

His touches are all rough and angry. Sure. I want him but not like this. He is hurting me. He's not like this. 

"AHH" I screamed out in pain when he entered his dick inside my ass without any prepping. I felt like being torn apart. 

"CHEOL STOP!" I felt my tear fall out when he tried to move a little too fast.  Gone are all the pleasure.  All i can feel is just pain.  

"Please. It hurts" I cried out.  His hands are still gripping my hips like he wanted it gone. 

Hearing my cry,  I felt him stilled. 

"Shit" i heard him say before wrapping me inside his arms and pulling out gently. 

"It hurts" i uttered again in my cry.  

"Shhh shh. I'm sorry Zi. Shhh. I'm sorry. " he kissed my my hair while still bracing me in a gentle hug. I hugged him back.  

"I'm sorry Zi. Shhh. Don't cry. " He keeps on shushing me without letting go of me. He is pressing kisses on my hair and whispering his apologies.  I returned his embrace clutching to his neck.  

"I fucked up again.  I'm sorry.  I don't know what I was doing. I.. I hurt you." There's a hint of loathe in his voice. He let go if me and examined my bruised body. 

"I... I bruised you. Fuck Im a terrible person... I... I should probably go before I hurt you again. " he stood up ready to leave the bed when I stop him by grabbing his wrist making him sit down again. 

"St.. Just stay" I said which made him startled. 

"Jihoon. No...I'll just hurt you again and I.." He looked down in shame. I gave him a glance. He is being guilty i can tell. 

"I raped you. " his voice is sullen and guilty.  

"You didn't" i answered quietly because i know he really didn't.  I let him. I wanted it. 

"I did. I'm sorry" 

"Why are you so mad?" I managed to asked while still holding him.  I just wanted to know why cause i know he isn't anything close to what he had acted. That's not another version of him.  

"I was jealous. The guy was laughing with you and touching you the way he wanted.  I'm restraining myself hard not to touch you and you just let him. I was mad about the fact that, he could while, I can't. I'm terrible. I raped you.  I'm sorry." He was jealous that's why he was so mad?

I moved near him not minding a sting on my body.

He was shocked when I kissed him.  

"You didn't raped me. Cheol.  You didn't. You're not terrible." I caress his face because he is already crying.   
"Jihoon." His tone is warning. I kissed him again,  assuring him it's okay.   
"I want you. " I boldly said kissing him despite what happened. 

I am lying if I'll say I don't want him because I do.

 It's sick but I know no matter how rough he could get, I'll still be wanting his heat. I know deep inside me that i don't mind being wrecked by him. I've gotten crazy. 

"No Zi.  I'll just hurt you" He said stilled.  

"It is gonna be fine Cheol. I trusts you" I kissed him again.  Reassuring him it's fine.  

"Are you sure about this? " he asked me wearyly. I kissed him sweet and rough to anwer him, tugging his locks a little. I smiled when he replied into my wet kisses.  

"I'll be gentle. I promise." He caress my face like a precious porcelain before kissing me with passion and adoration far more different than earlier.  

His kisses are gentle and sensual until i felt him sucking my neck again and grinding.  

"Che.. Cheol" i moaned when he sucked in my nipple playing it with his tongue.  I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled it encouraging him to do more.  

His hands travelled south And I let out a wanton moan when i felt his heated fingers embrace my naked erection. 

He pumped me with a little strokes on my cock's head before using his mouth as a substitute to play with it.  

"Nggg hm" i moaned when his tongue traced my cock's slit and suck the head. He gave my dick a few tug before eating it whole letting me fuck the warmth of his mouth.  

He keep in a pace as I felt my dick reach deeper his soft palate. I felt high when he moaned making a vibration that almost made me go crazy.  

"Cheol I'm.. Im.. Cum"  a few more fuck and strokes and then I come inside his mouth in which he all swallowed.  

I'm recovering from my high when i felt a warm wet thing reached my hole.  He's tracing the rim of my ass with his tongue.  

"Ngg" I bit my lip to prevent myself from screaming.  That feels so good. 

"Ahh" i yelled voice hoarsed when he blew air to my hole.

Holy shit.  

"Cheol wait" i said a little rush making him stopped eating me.  I sat up and looked at him licking my lips seductively. I heard him cursed before I held his hip with my left hand while my right hand take a good hold of his throbbing gifted cock.  

"Zi" he, called when I started to lick the precum in the head of his erected  cock before taking it whole in my mouth.  I swirl my tongue to it's slit while taking it deeper down my throat earning loud moans from him. 

"Im close" i felt him gripped the back of my head, mouth fucking me in a fast pace.  Moments later,  he come and I swallowed.  He is sweet.  

"Your turn.  Ass in th air babe. " i obeyed him positioning myself on all fours stomach lying flat on the bed. 

"Seungcheol ahh" He gave my ass a few licks before putting one finger inside. 

"Ye... Yess" I moved my hips meeting his finger which is fucking me. He add a second finger burrying it knuckled deep stretching and scissoring the rim. He add another one making me writhe in pleasure.  

"I'm rea.. Ready.  Your dick" i said still moving my hips meeting his thrusts. His fingers do wonders. 

"Are, you sure? " he, asked me worried.  He's still thinking of what happened earlier. 

"fuck yes.  Just... Get inside me" I lost my temper. before I knew it,  his huge dick is now burried deep into me making me scream in ecstacy.  

He thrusts deep into me in a rhythm we both follow.  

"AH" my eyes rolled in the back of my eyelid when he hit my spot eliciting a yell of fucks from my dirty mouth. 

"You're so tight. Aghhm" he aims for thay certain spot over and ovet again making me a moaning mess.  

"I'm coming cheol!" I'm still screaming in oversimulation due to abuse of my prostate.  

"Turn around babe" he said which I quickly obliged. 

"Come for me" he tugged my dick and stroked it while still hitting my sweet spot.  That caused me to splutter my cum all over us.  

"Ah" He followed soon after before collapsing on top of me and kissing mycheeks

I love you. I bit the words before it escape my mouth.  Before I regret it. 

\----------

I woke up just hours after the rough sex we just had. 

I couldn't really call it love making since I love him but i don't know if it's still the same for him.  

Cheol is still passed out probably exhausted. 

I looked at his sleeping face and i swear, I already made a poetry by just tracing his face starting in his long black lashes to his luscious plump lips. I stroked his soft locks leaving him a kiss on his temple before getting up even If I'm still sore.  I can manage.  

I couldn't really sleep with a lot of thoughts running inside my mind.  I have these kind of nights and this night is one of them.  

I went straight to the balcony wearing a white button up that is too big to be mine to at least fight the cold..  

The sky is beautiful with stars twinkling in highs and the moon reigning in there. 

I heaved a sigh.  

I wonder if I didn't run away before, would things be different?  

If he say he loved me that day instead of laughing, making me misunderstand him,  would that change a thing?  

Maybe we are still together and happy.  

But would we?  

I wonder if things went smoothly, would we lasts? 

If I haven't met him and he haven't knew i was his stalker,  would my heart be in a good shape?  

If that didn't happen, he would have avoided being hurt because of my stupidity.  

I blow an air that is filling my lungs.  

What if I didn't doubt him, are we sure it's still gonna be us? again?  

If I called him when he turned his back at me, would he looked back?  

If I didn't act like I don't know him,  would things be better? 

If I didn't see him again, would I be fine?  

Would I be okay? 

Maybe I would but I'm not sure if I can be happy in the world where he didn't happen. Because I know deep inside me,  my heart still aches for him. 

My mind travelled the memory lane from our beginning to these past days.  

I remembered him moving on while I grip the thread not wanting to let go.  

Then I thought of Kang Yebin.  

Yebin. His girlfriend.  

The thing that just happened between us, what was that?  

Are we going to consider it as another one night stand?  

Will I be alright if that's really the case?  

Will I be alright being his another? 

Will i accept the fact that he'll make me his option?  

Will I accept it if he say sorry because he doesn't love me anymore?    
Will I be okay if he choose her over me?  

Is, he gonna choose me?  What if he don't ?

Is it alright?  

Am I going to be fine after that?  

I shut my eyes close.  My mind is killing me but I couldn't stop them. 

Cheol is worth the suicide,  ain't he?  

He won't do that to me.  Won't he?  

What if he would?  

Are you ready?  

Am I ready? 

"When we are in high place,  I always see you looking at above. " I was a bit startled when i heard him say.  I didn't notice he is already awake and he is now standing beside me.  He's so close yet he feels far away beyond my reach. 

"I was looking at the stars" I quietly answered him. 

"I want to know." He said looking above his head.  

I looked at him.  My gaze lingered for a minute. 

Why?  Cheol?  

Because I was hoping we would be like the stars. I was hoping we're one of them. 

"Star.  It's a symbol of permanence. They are my reminder that for once, something won't change." 

I was hoping that the fact that you love me won't change.  But it did.  

"But they're dead."  He said moments later. Which earned me a bitter smile. 

They are. And So do we.  

"But they're still there. Aren't they? At least they are still there. Still shining and burning." I rebutted and he just hum.  

"You're quite deep" he chuckled a little. 

 

"Come to think of it,  we barely know each other. " I mumbled which I doubt he heard. 

That's the thing.  

We only know fragments regarding each other. 

We didn't really have a clue.  We're just..... Aware of each other's existence.

That stings a little. 

I wanted to know him more.  Every bit of his skin.  Every monster he hides.  Every secret he didn't want to reveal.  

"What are you thinkin? " i heard him asked again.  

If he's going to dive in my mimd,  he'll be deaf because I have alot of things I think of.  

If you still love me. 

If I ever be okay once this trip is over. 

If's. 

"I'm just wondering,  if I didn't left Daegu and lived in Busan, would things be different?  Are we still gonna be together?" Before I knew it,  I already voiced out my earlier thought. 

Are you happy with her? 

What will happen to us?   
Are you gonna leave me after this? . 

What are we?  

Are we still considered friends?  But friends don't fuck.  

Will I be happy too someday? 

Will I ever be fine without you?  

"I'm sorry. " I heard him say after our long silence. 

"I haven't said sorry for laughing that day.  It's my fault we become like this." He continued . I said it's fine.  We're both at fault.  

We didn't took things slowly way back then.  We danced at the fire without knowing each other deeper first.  That's why it happened. 

But you know,  I'm still wishing I'll end up with you even if it's impossible because you already found someone who knows your worth.  Unlike me.  

"I feel like we're in an endless race, you know. The only thing that differs is that,  we're both chasing different finish lines. " I'm not a talkative person.  It's a general knowledge for those who knows me but tonight, i feel like voicing out the things i have the courage to voice out. 

"We don't really know each other, you know" I added.  

"We're a complete strangers to each other. " I didn't stop uttering while I close my eyes tasting the bitterness of my own words. 

I felt a warmth enveloped me. I found him hugging me from behind when i opened my eyes.  

"We have our whole life figuring out each other.  Just don't think of anything for now. We'll be alright. " I Felt him kiss my crown before resting his head in the crane of my neck.  

"It's just you and me for now. Zi. " I heard him say.    
For now.  Just for now. 

"I'm sorry for earlier. " he said tracing the bites in my neck which he had caused.  He caress it and kissed it gently.  

We did it again and the stars witnessed us. 

It's just him and me.  For now.  

 

 

\---------------

 

 


	19. Chapter SEVENTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to square one? ;)

"Stop there." I was startled when Seungcheol commanded me in a rush and loud pitch. I literally jumped in my seat.  

"Sorry. Can you increase the volume a little?" I obliged even tho I'm still not over the shock and confusion. I was busy browsing the radio stations when he yelled out of the blue, hearing an old song. 

"You like the song? " he nodded with a fond smile creeping in his lips. Well, he has been grinning from ear to ear the moment we left the hotel.

We are heading back to Seoul.  Actually, we were suppose to leave early as possible but as embarrassing as it appears,  we were late because we were both exhausted from what happened last night. And okay, we did it again in the morning so I'm still sore. That should explain it. 

"Yeah. I like that certain version." He wiggled his eye brows, still not dropping the stretch in his lips.  

"Ahhh. I like the original one." I said increasing the volume by two numbers. 

I noticed his fingers are tapping following the rhythm. I contented myself to just listen to his quiet hums while staring in the window. The only noise that is clearly audible in my ears is the song.  

Before I could decipher where the familiar warmth is coming from against my palm, he began singing, making me look at him.  

"and I was dying inside to hold you.  Couldn't believe what I felt for you. Dying inside. I was dying inside. But I couldn't bring myself to touch you." His other hand is in the steering wheel but his eyes are lock into mine. He is holding my hands. And before we knew it, the song ended.  

What a sap.  

But you liked it.  You're blushing.  

Shut up.  

"it was good. I haven't heard of that version before. Guess I liked it better now." I beamed him a smile. A genuine and fearless one. I'm aware I am blushing.  

"I told you. " Cheol squeezed my hand.  His eyes are finally back on the road as another song began to play. 

"Is McDonald's good for you? We can stop by if you're hungry. " He said in between the silence.  I looked ahead and saw the fast food's logo not too far away. 

"T's okay. I'm not very hungry. A fries and a cola would do. " He just nods and uttered 'cola maniac' while chuckling. I gave him an eyeroll.  

"Fries and cola then" He made a way to the Mcdo's drive thru.  We ordered large fries and burgers for the both of us. He said in case I become hungry again. And for the finalé, we ordered two large cokes.  

He released my hands as I began eating my treats. Starting from the burger (okay, i got hungry too soon).  I saw him side glancing me while munching his fries and still driving. 

He's having a hard time there. I can see. 

"Cheol" I called him and offered him my burger by nearing it to his mouth.  He ceased his brows at first.  But when he finally understand the whole semantic of it,  he took a mouthful bite.  His grin creeped in for the time record. In his second bite, the mayo smeered a little on the side of his lips but he seems not aware of it.  I took a tissue in the brown paper bag that is lying on my lap and wiped the smeered mayo.  

"Thanks babe." He winked at me. I couldn't help but blush. I bit my lips. 

This is too domestic. Not that I'm complaining. 

I feed him while he is driving until we are both full.  He ordered me to sleep again which I also agreed cause we didn't get enough sleep.  Thanks to our whoremones.  

 

"Zi. Woozi. " I stirred a little in my slumber when I felt a soft touch in my cheeks. 

"Are we already home?" I remember we are on our way back home so I opened my eyes. I figured out that the car is stopped few blocks away from my apartment. 

"Not really.  I don't want you to wake up any minute but I forgot to ask for your address. So yeah. " he scatched the back of his head. And oh fuck,  he's cute when he is shy.  

Jihoon.  

What? 

Just tell him your goddamn address.  You're a sap.  

"It's okay. I forgot to mention too. Turn left there then right at the end of the street.The house with a blue paint is mine " I directed.  He immediately started his engine.  How I wish I live farther than my current address.  Too bad we're just blocks away.

"Wait. Weren't we suppose to go to the office? Take a turn. We're already late." I wiped the sidelines of my eyes to remove unnecessary things while panicking a little even tho I am with my boss. 

"Just rest. You're tired. Consider this as a day off." I was about to counterargue when he cutted me off.  

"We're here. You can go tomorrow." the car stopped and we are in front of the gate. 

"But-" 

"Just listen to your boss Jihoon." He uttered after he shut me up by a long kiss.  I swear I heard myself moan in his mouth but nevermind that. 

"Okay." I just nodded before going out of his car. He got off too. Now we're both standing outside. Me in front of the gate while he is leaning on his car door. Hands on both pockets.

Cool ass there. 

He's obviously waiting for me to get in. 

"Ah,  Cheol. Thank you." I turned to look at him.  

"Hmm hm. " He hummed in his smile signaling me that it was okay. I nodded again to turn to the gate again.  But later on,  i found myself coming closer to give him a peck on the cheek.  

"Thank you. " I looked down. Okay,  that was embarassing. I felt him messed my hair. 

"Just go in, Zi and rest. " He said chuckling. 

I obliged.  I went straight to my unit to to drop my bags and peep on my window with a giddy smile of a high schooler. I saw his car go farther from our street. 

'Sleep well 


	20. Chapter Eighteen: CLAP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol's friends hated Woozi.

“You ready, handsome?” I asked Jihoon after giving him a peck on the lips. He blushed while giving me a nervous smile.

Cute.

”Yeah. Ready to be skinned alive.” He replied to me, ass dropping in the passenger seat. I chuckled before getting inside the driver’s seat.

 

I understand that he is a nervous wreck right now but he is also cute when he panics. I planned to introduce him to my friends as my boyfriend. At first, he is reluctant to go which I understand. My friends had a very bad impression of my ex and so do I, until I heard his part. But after re-assuring him it will be fine and if it not, I’m still going to be with him, he finally agreed.

 

I started the engine and drives away from his house.

 

Today is Sunday. Two days ago, we become official and I still could not believe he is mine now, officially, again.

After so many fuss and breaks, who would have thought we are still gonna end up together?

 

When I said I’m done chasing him, I really meant it. I was so angry because he made a fool out of me for the second time around so the damage is fatal. I was ready to move on and accept we are really not for each other. To start anew. Until he came back telling me his feelings. How he thought I played him dirty back then so he was just afraid to give a try with me again. But I was afraid too. The same reason he was afraid for. I thought maybe that was it. Him, explaining things and his side to me was just the closure we were denied to get. I thought maybe that was all I need so I can move forward. I was ready to move on when he started his dirty tactics to make me fall for him again. I saw his efforts which I cant turn a blind eye on.-- his charms that I couldn’t help but stumble upon over and over again even if I saw pain would tail behind. I saw how determined and sure he is that I’ll love him again. Little did he know, I never stop loving him. I just took a break cause it becomes tiring.

 

I tried hard to resist. I scold him and scowled at him whenever I got the chance. I can not give him the satisfaction to hurt me again. That’s what i told to myself. I don’t wanna be stupid for making the same mistake again. Yes. For the record, I considered him my best yet greatest mistake. I hated him cause I was so hurt and hate is the filter of pain. 

I was so angry at Wonwoo for bailing out on our Daegu project. How dare he ask Jihoon to come with me when he could have asked Soonyoung or anyone that is not Jihoon. I could not blame him tho cause he does not know anything. No one knows a thing.

I hated being near Jihoon. I hate breathing the same air with him. I just hated his presence cause for me, It’s a reminder that I could not have him in this life and that sucks. He is the constant reminder of my dark days and the misery I've been through. I hate him so much but I couldn’t bring myself to not care for him. When I see him having a hard time, i’ll be discreet and ends up helping him and I hated it. I realized that even if he hurt me, I still don’t want him getting hurt. Even if I hated him, part of me don’t want him to hate me too. Even if I say he annoys me, I still want him in my hair.

 

I tried hard to avoid him and give him the cold shoulder during the trip but note of the word tried. I insisted getting us a separate rooms cause I thought he hates me for yelling at him and giving him all the discomforts. Or the better reason is, I just wanted to avoid him but we still ends up being on the same room. Bonus part is, we manage to be casual and start being friends again.

I thought I’ll use that friendship to move forward. Not until his old classmate came in the picture. That Kang Daniel. Jealous was an understatement to describe what I was feeling that day when I saw Jihoon being tickled to death by that fucker, touching him to the places I should be the only one to access. That pissed me off big time. How can he touch Jihoon when I couldn’t? How can make him laugh while I can only bring him tears? How can Jihoon can be happy while I was drown into my own misery? I was angry. I was furious that I did not know I was hurting him by initiating a rough sex, almost raping him. I hated myself that night. I was a jerk to be controlled by my jealousy. I was a terrible person and he should hate me for that. But no. He did not. He made love to me that night. He made that night especial for the both of us.

 

That night, I was certain. Fuck pain. Fuck vanity. Fuck pride. And Fuck everything. I’ll risk being broken by him if it means having him by my side. I love this man so much. Love and Pain comes hand in hand. I know what I feel for him is real because I am willing to face the uncertainty just to be with him.

That night, I was so sure. Fuck the world cause we are meant to be and nothing can ever come between.

 

I was happy after that. I feel that our relationship progressed after that trip. I was so happy and excited to go to the office that I forgot to plug my phone. I was so excited to see Jihoon again but Minho gave me a task early in the morning because of course, his boyfriend Taemin is lost somewhere again so being a good friend I am, I rescued his work. 

When I finished the task, I immediately went down to our floor to find Jihoon but Yebin distracted me. Her eyes are all pluffy and I was so sure she had cried. I took her in my office then she told me that her dog pepper was in the animal hospital. Her dog means a lot to her. Her mother who is now has another family in Canada gave it to her when she was eighteen and it is the only thing that reminds Yebin of her. Some may say that Yebin was over reacting but no, the girl has been though a lot and I can relate cause we have the same family fate so when she learned that I will be his step-brother, he hated me at first. Then we grew to like each other cause we’re the same and we relate to each other. We’re just really close. She is the most precious girl to me cause she is my sister, I treat her like a real one and she seems to do the same as me too. That’s why I did not expect Jihoon to be jealous of her. 

 

When I saw him at outside my office, he looks different,  especially when I started to talk to him and took him inside. Then he called me sir and started to walk away again. From that, I panicked.

I was afraid that would be all. I was ready to take him back and love him whole again. I was ready to try with him again so when he called me sir, I was terrified that was it. I thought I’ll lose him again. I thought it was all over for us again. I thought I finally wake up from this dream that is the trip.  I was so afraid he'll leave me in a wreck again just like years ago. Everything came back to me. When he left me ages ago and I become a mess. I remember desperately finding him in town. I remember crying every damn night because he took over my life then left me behind after. I remember being broken and not seeing light and I do not want to come back to despair again. I remember being drowned without any available help cause he was my only cure.  I was so afraid.  But not until he said those three words. Not until he uttered it crying in front of me.  I’ve been waiting for that and I was so happy that finally. I am assured that we are on the same boat. I was never been so happy in my entire life until Jihoon kissed me and I thought, damn. What a blessing.

 

“We’re here.” I said when I parked the car. I noticed Jihoon becoming pale so I took his hand and kissed it.

 

“Cheol, what if they are still mad at me? What if they will not like the idea of us dating? What if....Cheol, Let us just go home.” Jihoon stares blankly at me almost begging so I pulled him into a hug.

 

“It will be fine, Ji. Even if they do not like you, I’m here. I still love you and they can not change that.” I kissed his temple and he looked up to me kissing my lips.

 

“I love you” He said and I smiled. It’s gay but i feel the collywobbles cycling my stomach.

"I love you too. So come on.” I gave him a peck before breaking the hug and coming off the car. I thought Jihoon would follow outside but instead, he stayed inside the car as if contemplating his whole existence.

 

I opened the car’s door and pulled him out but he is pulling himself farther making us looks like as if playing tug of war.

 

“babe, come on. They’re waiting” i am still pulling him. 

”Stop calling me babe. I am not a pig.” He replied pulling himself inside the car in by force making me land on top of him. He looked at me wide eyed and lips slightly open which I find cute so I can not help but peck.

 

“Jihoonie. Do you really want to do that here? Parking lot? You’re kinky. But I don’t mind. ” I teased him lip biting and giving him a wink. I saw him blush as he pushed me off before getting out of the car. 

”Come on, you said they’re waiting.” He said in a rush which earned a loud laugh from me. 

”you’re cute. Come.” I took his hand and lead the way out so we could walk to the bar which is owned by Soonyoung’s Chinese friends.

When we reached the entrance, Jihoon’s hands started to sweat on my grip. He stop for awhile, clinging into my forearm. 

”Ji. Just hold my hand.” I gave him a reassuring smile as I intertwined our fingers. I gave him time to breathe and we walk ourselves inside. 

”Hyung!” I heard Mingyu shouted. Standing up so we could easily see where they are. Jihoon looked at me worriedly so I brushed my thumb against his. 

We walk pass the crowd and went straight to where the gang is. I saw Mingyu and Wonwoo sitting beside each other together with Soonyoung, Seokmin, Hansol Minho and Taemin. The others are not still here. I thought. 

”Oh, Jihoonie hyung. Anyway Seungcheol hyung, where is he?” Mingyu hinted annoyance in his tone but regardless, there still anticipation beneath.

”who?” I asked still standing. Jihoon is slightly hiding behind while I hold his hand. 

”that shithead ex of yours, of course who is now your boyfriend.” Hansol said before drinking on his glass. 

”got chickened out?” Mingyu added high-fiving Hansol. I saw Wonwoo scowling at Mingyu as if saying enough. 

”What? I’m just stating facts. So where is he hyung?” Mingyu asked once again. I understand why they hated Woozi and I want to change that cause Jihoon does not deserve to be treated like this. It was both our faults that resulted that misconception between us. 

”wait. Why are you two holding hands?” Soonyoung locked his eyes into our intertwined hands so the others mirrored him. 

”It’s not what i am thinking, right?” Mingyu side glanced Hansol asking for help but Hansol is too shock in his own realization to give him any. 

”Guys. This is Jihoon, my boyfriend. And before you bombard me obvious questions, yes. He is Woozi.” I explained. The table suddenly went quiet so we took that opportunity to sit. 

”Holy shit!” Soonyoung and Taemin uttered in unison. 

”But hyung!! I really like Jihoon hyung and I hate Woozi!” Mingyu nags. Wonwoo is trying to make Mingyu shut up. I felt Jihoon grew more uneasy and it is not good.

”I am not asking you to like me. ” Jihoon spatted making Mingyu shut up. It is not really a good idea to piss Jihoon off. I hope eveyone knew. 

”Gyu, i told you. It was all a misunderstanding we both not wanted. So please.” I pleaded trying not to rub salt in the wound. 

 

“What did we miss?” I heard a familiar voice break the tension. 

”Jeonghan hyung!” Mingyu cheered a little cause he will now have an ally. Jeonghan and Mingyu are the two who has the most hate towards Woozi. Except that Jeonghan already know it is Jihoon but that does not change the fact that they still hate him. 

”what’s happening?” Seungkwan sat beside Hansol and the latter giving him a peck. Jisoo and Chan, Jeonghan’s cousin who is also an author remained standing. 

”Jihoon..Woozi” is all Mingyu could utter. Jeonghan’s gaze went to us down to our still intertwined hands. He immediately walk to us fast pace. I stood up ready to protect Jihoon from their wrath but I was shock when Jeonghan hugged Jihoon tight separating our hands.

”hyung.” Jihoon uttered.

 

“I told ya. Anyway i’m sorry you could not reach me days ago. I was really busy blame but Wonwoo did me a favor so I think it’s fair” Jeonghan said while they’re hugging. Jihoon patted my best friend's back. 

My eyes dilated twice its size cause what drama is this?

”wait. It was because of you?” Jihoon asked breaking the hug. Wait. I’m really confused. We all are. 

”Yes my dear. I was the one who ordered Won to send you with him. Isn’t it amazing?” Jeonghan winked at Jihoon which made my brows furrowed hard.

I do not fucking understand. The people involved does not give off any hint. What reality show is this? Can someone explain?

”What the hell is happening here?” Mingyu asked could not believe what's happening.  
Same Gyu. What the hell?

”Jeonghan hyung knew. “ Wonwoo answered the unasked questions. But I thought he hate Woozi? 

”knew what?” Seungkwan asked also confused. Jisoo and Chan nodded. 

”Jihoon is Woozi and they’re boyfriends now” Jeonghan say in his most excited voice. 

”and it’s okay with you?” Mingyu asked again. I understand tho. Cause last time I checked, they loathed the name Woozi. 

”Yup. You should hate Cheol not Jihoonie, Gyu. That fucker is the one at fault.” Jeonghan singsang as if I wasn’t here, giving me a fiery glare. 

”can we please drop the profanities, shitheads?” Jisoo said in an irony which earned a laugh. 

”Fine. Everybody seems to like you and Cheol hyung loves you. And I'm the only bitter dick in here so.... Just, don’t hurt him again cause i will really not forgive you.” Mingyu pouted a bit. I smiled. I know they'll like Jihoon. 

”Thanks Gyu.” I sincerely thanked him for being cool about it. I appreciate his care. 

”Don’t flatter yourself hyung, better not hurt Jihoonie too.” Wonwoo seriously said to me. 

”right. Or you’re a dead meat.” Jeonghan threatened me with a fork. I raised my hand in surrender.

”whoa!! I thought you’re my best friend?” I pouted. Jihoon just laugh at me. 

”yes. But Jihoon is my baby so i’m on his side. Plus you are stupid at times.” Jeonghan said so the table burst out laughing as they began bullying me. meanies. 

 

“heard that?” Jihoon smirked at me. I just held his hands under the table and joined my friends, which is also Jihoon’s now, laughing. 

The whole night went well. There’s the occasional teasing and laughing. Minho and Taemin hyung went home first cause they have an early flight to meet Taem’s brothers, Lee Jinki, Jonghyun and Kibum. The kids are also drunk at this moment. 

”Yah! Kim Mingyu, call me shithead again and I’ll hit you with any instrument I get to hold” Jihoon thretened  Mingyu. When I say they are drunk, Jihoon is not an exception. He just had 2 bottles of beer and he is already drunk. He loves alcohol but the alcohol does not. 

”Kwon Soonyoung, stop eating Seokmin’s face. You’re disgusting” Jihoon spatted. Jeonghan just laugh at the corner patting Jisoo’s back. We are the two responsible adult who has a high alcohol tolerance so we get to witness their weird drunken habits. Seungkwan is puking at the washroom with Hansol and who knows what they are up to in this moment. 

 

“Cheol. Why is my head spinning. It swirls and swirls round and round” Jihoon stood up but not succeeding. His fingers drawing circles in the air.

”Ji. You’re drunk. Come on. Let’s get you home.” I said accompanying him so he would not fall in the ground and bidding silently to those who are still sober in our table. 

”I’m thirsty Cheol. I want to drinkkkkkk” Jihoon said burying his face on my chest. 

”i’ll get you water, come on.” I tapped his head and fix his now messy hair. He has a habit of brushing his hair in random times that’s why. 

”but I don’t want to walk. I want to hug youuuu. You're warm and big and soft and I love.” Jihoon wrapped his hand on my waist. He is really drunk. Good thing tomorrow’s holiday. I tried to make him walk properly but he just shook his head and clung more to me so I have no choice but to went on the bar counter with him hugging me. 

”can I have water, please?” I asked the bartender who was busy talking to someone. 

”Sure. Here” he placed the glass of water in the counter and I thanked him. 

”Jihoonie. Drink water first and we’’ll go home. Please babe.” Jihoonie looked up to me half lidded. He smiled to me before giving me a peck on the lips and drinking his water.

"You're lips is so sweet I want to eat it" He innocently said, his eyes forming crescent. 

”Jihoon?” the guy who’s talking to the bartender earlier called. Jihoon just raised him a brow. Damn he look so cute and drunk like that. 

”Jihoon is so drunk.....again ” The bartender commented I almost ask how did they know Jihoon but I remember this is the same bar where Wonwoo celebrated his birthday before. Their mind is really good to still remember Jihoon.

 

“you’re Soonyoung’s friend. Junhui? ” I asked politely. He nodded. 

”yep. And this is my boyfriend Minghao if you still remember. You are Jihoon’s ex, right?” He questioned. I just smiled and nodded. 

”He is now my boyfriend, dumbass.” Jihoon looked up from burying his head to my chest to snapped at them before nuzzling me again. 

”Forgive this cute drunk midget” I chuckled. Jihoon pinched my side saying he is not a midget but he is cute. 

”You’re his boyfriend now? Congrats. Now Junhui here owes me a hundred bucks.” Minghao informed me proud and hppily before drinking his beer.  Jihoon snores on my chest. He has fallen asleep.

”thanks. Uhm, i think we should go.” I bid them the couple goodbye before exiting the place. I heard him telling us the comeback when Jihoon is sober. 

 

When we reached my car, I fixed Jihoon comfortably in the passenger seat before texting Jeonghan that we’re going home. He replied by texting ‘use protection’ and a winky emoji. He's a dick. that I know. 

 

Jihoon is still sleeping when we reached his home. I did not wake him up cause I already know his passcode so I carried him until we reached his room. I gently placed him in his bed before going to the bathroom to get a towel and a basin with hot water in it because no one wants to sleep feeling sticky and dirty. Right? I removed his clothes then wipe him up before dressing him again in sweats and white t-shirt. 

I was about to place the basin and towel back to his bathroom when a hand refrained me from doing so by pulling the hem of my shirt on the back.

”Cheol. Stay.” He said eyes still close. 

”i’ll just go to the bathroom. I’ll be back. Promise.” I said back but he just shook his head. 

”No. Hug me” He pat his empty side.

"I miss you so I need your hug" he added. I chuckled and sigh. 

”Okay. Wait.” I placed the used things in his side table and lie beside him on the bed. When I finally settled, he moved close to me snuggling me. He hugged me tight. 

”I love you so damn much, Cheol” He kissed my lips again. 

”I know. “ I said ruffling his messy hair.  Now he is tracing kisses in my jaw. 

”What? Do you not love me?” he stop his minstrations and started to look at me accusingly with his eyes wide open.

 

“You have no idea. “ I chuckled caressing his soft cheek. He pouted.

"You don't love me" He is still pouting. 

”I love you, Ji. More than anything.” I said kissing his temple. I saw him smiled. 

”Good. Now hug me, baby.” he demanded. Voice authoritative. 

”I’m not a baby. “ I complained but hugging him too. He is one clingy ass when drunk and i am so not complaing.  

”You are my baby. Big baby. Now shut up and kiss me.” He said which earned a chuckle from me before I actually give him his request.

 

I didn’t think I’d ever love him this much when I first met him.

He's worth it. I'm glad I freed my heart.  

God! I am so in love.

\---------------------------------------------------------------


	21. The Missing Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

“What-Jihoon?” I was taken aback when I tried to open the door only to see someone come out from it and it was not the owner.

“Lee Jihoon-ssi?” I asked when I recognized his rush movements as if itching to leave. His eyes went saucer wide looking at me. 

”shit. Can you tell him to just forget everything and please, do not find me.” He bit his lips. I wanted to ask why but he did not gave me the chance to.

 

“Sorry Sir. I..... I gotta go.” before I could ask what the hell is he doing inside Seungcheol’s house and what did he mean by forget it, he is running his life away. 

What the hell is that? 

Seungcheol never invites anyone outside our squad in his house. Never. 

I cleared my mind so it won’t think in green. Maybe they worked on a special project. But Jihoon wouldn’t be in a rush if that was really the case. And.... Seungcheol went out for a drink with the gang last night. That’s why I am here. Because I am tired of my mom forcing me to marry her friend’s son. Because I am a caring best friend.

 

Were they together last night?

Did something dirty happened between them?  
he finally got laid.....again?

I look at the door and decided to just come inside. Formulating the whole thing kinda frustrates me. Not to mention the temperature is really low this morning. 

I unpacked the groceries, bribes for using his name to my mother, and started to cook by first brewing the coffee. 

I usually went here in times when my mother visits my house. She is literally forcing me to marry Jisoo, her friend’s son, and she made him work to the company too so that we’ll get closer.  And yes, that’s absurd.Of course Jisoo is a good guy . A total opposite of me. Okay. I kinda like him. But I have no intention to marry and settle down. I love my freedom! 

I was in the middle of placing the bacon in the plate when I heard his voice but not fully understanding a thing. 

”You’re awake. C’mon. This will be ready in a minute.” I said to him. I did noticed the furrow of his brows but chose to ignore it cause I was busy.

”Jeonghan? Why are you here? where...Where is Woo....?” I rolled my eyes. As if he’s not used to me being always in his house. I’m more often here than he is. 

”Making breakfast, duh! Mingyu said you might have hungover. C'mon let's eat. I'm hungry. " I placed the foods in the counter and sat in one of the stools. And as soon as I was seated, I began eating. I’m really hungry. 

”When did you come? " He asked me glued in his spot. Aren’t he gonna eat? 

"Around 8. And Cheol, why was Jihoon here?" I asked him curiously. What? I deserve to know. I am his best friend. 

"You saw him? Where is he?" He became an excited puppy upon mentioning Jihoon’s name. Are they dating? Or just fucking? cool.

I began telling him about  our encounter and the weird things Jihoon said to me. His face fell. Wait. Oh my Gollly!! 

I jumped to him giving him a tight hug. 

"Why? Are you dating him? You're finally dating..again? Oh my gosh! You are really over that dickhead ex of yours. What was his name again? Wooby? Wally? Woozi? Nevermind. Don't talk about the devil or he'll come. But are you really dating Jihoon? Finally! Oh my gosh Seungcheol! I am so proud of yo--" 

"Jihoon is Woozi"

 

"Pardon. What?” I broke the hug. Did I heard it right? Why is the devil being mentioned?

 

"What do you mean he is Woozi? Who? Jihoon? C'mom cheol! Are you fucking serious?! That devil stepped on my premise?" He put on his shorts and fixed himself a little while I’m exhilarating. what kind of joke is he pulling early in the morning?

There is no way Lee Jihoon is Woozi. I should have punched him the moment I saw him. 

"Listen, Han, i don't really have time to explain right now. I need to find him. I'll talk to you later, kay? " No. I want to know. 

"Wait. Yah! Choi Seungcheol!" I called when he run fast enough to leave. 

What the hell?

Why did he leave? Is he going to chase his ex again? Have he already forgotten what that fucker did to him? Why is Seungcheol so stupid?!

I fished for my phone and wallet ready to follow my moronic friend when my mother called. I rolled my eyes. I do not have time for this!!

”Hello Mom? What? I am not with him. Look. Mom i don’t really care where the hell Jisoo is right now. I don’t have time for this. I’ll see you later. I gotta go.” I immediately ended the call. Jisoo did not came home last night too. Fine. I rejected his proposal for the nth time. And part of me is worrying but it’s just a small part. Maybe i’m just guilty cause I know it’s my fault. He have to understand me. I may like him a lot but I am not ready to commit. I can’t give him what he want just like that. I’ll deal with that later. I have to stop Seungcheol for doing something stupid first. 

I called a taxi then went to the company. That is the the first place Seungcheol would go at, i’m sure. 

”Is Seungcheol here, Kwan?” I spotted Kwan talking to Wonwoo and Sonnyoung. For those who have a lot of works in their table, they sure have a lot of time.

”Yes. He came a few minutes ago rushing to Minho hyung’s office looking for Jihoonie. He is kinda weird. Did something happened?” Seungkwan asked. I shook my head to say it is just nothing which is a lie. They don’t have to know cause they’re just going to worry.

I wandered my gaze in their department. where is the other egg?

”By the way, Did.. Did Jisoo came today?” I hesitantly asked. He looked at me. 

”no hyung.” he answered still studying me. I sighed. 

”nevermind. I’ll go first.” Jisoo is probably somewhere. I hope he is safe. I took the elevator. I tried to call Jisoo but he is not answering. Damn. I am really worried. 

When I am almost at Minho’s office, I saw Seungcheol and Jihoon talking near the door. Seungcheol said something to Jihoon before walking away. I did not hear a thing cause I was far from them. 

”Cheol.” I called Seungcheol when he just walked pass me. He is crying. 

”Not now, Han. Sorry.” He gave me an apologetic smile before heading to the stairs probably aiming for the roodtop. I heaved a sigh. What’s wrong with this day?

I continued walking to Minho hyung’s office to see Jihoon crying in his knees, sobbing loudly. 

He is chanting ‘Cheol’ while crying all his tears out. 

Oh shit. 

”Jihoon.” I called him. I need a talk. 

”he won’t come back even if you cry blood in there.” I said after a couple minutes of silence. It’s harsh but he needs it too.

”Why are you here?” He looked at me attempting to wipe his tears that messily damping his face. 

”here.” I gave him my handkerchief and tried to lift him up, accompanying him to sit on the chair not on the floor. 

I closed the door and got water from the mini fridge inside the office. I memorized this office like the back of my hands cause the boss is my friend. We usually hang out here during breaks. 

”I’m sorry.” He said after drinking the water. At least he is calm now. 

”Say that to Seungcheol. It’s long overdue.” I remain standing in front of him. I consider myself still kind in this situation. 

Don’t judge me. 

I love my best friend in the most platonic way. I want the best for him. No friend of mine should be hurt by anyone. I vow to gave this Woozi guy a handful of misery but when I saw him having a break down, Maybe I should just talk to him first. But that does not mean I already forgive him even tho he did not do anything bad to me. I still hate the fact that Cheol almost killed himself because of pain caused by this guy. 

”how’s it? Seeing him walk away just like you did back then?” I mocked him hands crossed in my chest. He looked down.

”You have no idea Jihoon, wait. Woozi rather. You have no idea what Cheol have gone through when you left him. He almost died because of you. Then what? You’re going to come seeing him again then making him cry again? He has been a mess. How dare you come back again?” I said calmly but stern. He started crying again but not sobbing this time. Just silent tears.

"you rea;;y have the guts to show your face, huh." I added.

”Did you all realy think I did not suffer? Did you all think I was having fun? You did not know how miserable I was too. You’ve got no idea how hard it was for me too. You will not understand cause you do not know a thing.” He said silently looking down. 

I sat in front of him. Silently. 

I know he did suffer too. I know it hurts him too. it's obvious. He would not cry this hard if he did not. That’s why i’m taking it easy for him. Because I can see that. 

He’s right. We did not know a thing. We only know too little in their story. Maybe he suffered enough too but that still does not change anything. 

”It was hard. When I saw him agan. The familiar aches started to creep in again. I was scared. I still am. How will I know his feelings for me is real? How will I know? It hurts. Jeonghan. You don’t have any idea. “ He said through gritted teeth. I should hold my emotions and understand the situation like a muture adult which i am clearly not. what should I say?

 

”Do you love him?” I asked. He look up to me and bit his lips. 

”So much. “ i saw a tear escaped his eyes. He wiped it. 

”Then why are you so afraid? If you love him that much, why do you keep on pushing him away? Why do you keep on running away?” I voiced out without me knowing it. It was supposed to be just in my head. you really can not control your mouth. 

He smiled at me. 

”But is it enough? Jeonghan sometimes love just ain’t enough. I love him so much that it is frightening. I love him so much that I feel like dying. I can’t just run back to his arms because I love him. What if we end up hurting each other again? What if we cause each other’s downfall again? What if we are not still meant to be? What if the stars already decided that we can’t be? I don’t want the same pain. I don’t want to go back to that despair. I am afraid.“ This time he is sobbing. He covered his eyes to prevent himself from crying out loud again. 

I sighed before reaching for his hands. 

”Jihoon. I understand. Feelings could be overwhelming. But that’s love Jihoon. Love and Pain comes hand in hand. You can not say you love him if you did not feel even a tinge of pain. It hurts because it’s real. You will hurt each other even without intending to cause it’s just how it is. You can hurt without love but you can never love without hurting. Of course it will hurt. You love so much so it would really hurt that much. But did you ever ask yourself that maybe. Just maybe, it’s worth it?“ I looked at his hands while he looked at me.

”You’re scared that you are not meant to be. How would you know that if you’re not going to try? How can you end something that did not even began in the first place?” I smiled. I looked him in the eye.

”You’re right. You suffered enough. You both have suffered enough. Don’t you think you deserve to be happy too? Don’t you want a happy ending with him? It will hurt. Sure. But it will be worth it. “ I don’t know if I’m still talking about their case or talking about mine. I feel Jihoon. I really understand him cause I’m afraid too. I just couldn’t admit. I smiled bitterly to myself.  Love could be frightening too. we are just too proud to admit. 

”but he hates me now.” Jihoon looks down again in a sad tone. 

”Hate is another synonym of care. Trust me. He hates you. But just give him time to catch his breath and you’ll meet him halfway. For now, fix yourself and do everything to win him back without being afraid.” I said to him. 

”thank you.” he replied in a genuine smile.

“I’m not saying i’m on your side. I’m helping you figuring it all out. I want my best friend to be happy too.” I stood up ready to go. 

”I want to make him happy too.” He mirrored my act. 

”Good. See you around then.” I walked out. I still have to find Jisoo and talk to him. I was wrong. 

”ah. I forgot. I’ll schedule you an interview again since your resignation has been signed. Call me when you’re ready.” I winked at him before completely walking out the office. I hope it work for us too. Me and Jisoo.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

yepppp. it was Jeonghan!! That's the reson why Jihoon and him became close. 

How was it? I want to do a Jihan side story cause why not? My Jihan heart goes boom boom in this chapter. 


	22. Chapter TWENTY : EPILOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks 

Uji hyung, the boss called for you” Seungkwan smiled to me. I was busy editing files when he suddenly popped on my side. 

”Okay. Just a minute.” I replied grinning to him. If this scene happened months before, I’ll surely be yelling and snickering about what the fuck is the boss’s problem this time. But it’s different now. Something changed. Seungcheol and I have been together for months and I still could not believe he is mine now....again. This time, we are sure about our feelings. No fuss. No breaks. 

I saved the edited file before walking straight to the office.

He has been very busy these past few days so we rarely flirt talk to each other during office hours. But I understand. Good thing we’re living together now so that’s okay. We have a lot of time to catch up after work. 

The moment I pushed the door opened, I was attacked by a hungry kiss. I was startled at first but I kissed back later on. I would not miss that lips for anything. We shared a heated kiss before he pulled back to breathe then gave me a peck on my lips directly looking into my eyes. 

”I miss you.” he smiled which I returned back. 

”Quit being a sap ,Sir “ I teased pecking his lips before demanding a tolerable proximity that will prevent us from sucking each other’s faces. 

”I miss you too but I have a lot of work to finish and so are you. Why did you call?” I asked. I know he did not called me just because his balls are heated and he wanted a kiss. He could save that for later. 

Seungcheol chuckled before giving me the thick folders resting in his table and handling it to me. I gave him an inquiring look Then he started  grinning mischievously. I know that kind of look.  The hell!!! He did not change a bit! 

”Just because we’re together now does not mean I would go easy on you, I’m your boss, babe.Now, edit those and kiss me again.” I gave him a glare before obliging to his request. Dammit!! he really loves seeing me agitated. The kind of love he has in there.  
   
”Oh, and I need it finished today.” He suddenly pulled back fro the kiss winking at me. The fuck!  I hit his chest and gave him an even more dangerous glare. 

”I hate you.” I said gritting my teeth. I already smell stress. 

”We both know you don’t, babe.” He chuckled amusingly. True enough. I kicked his shin. This asshole!!!

”Fuck you.” I spatted collecting the files and ready to leave. He really loves to annoy me. 

”Later at home, babe” He wittily replied. I just rolled my eyes and stormed out the room, pissed. 

”Don’t be mad. I still love you. “ He shouted from inside before the door slammed completely closed.

I walked back to my window with my 'don't talk to me, I'm pissed' face. I scoffed at Soonyoung when I passed by his window too.

When I reached my place, I discovered a red bouquet of tulips resting on my table.  Bribery. 

I put the files down and picked the flowers. There’s a note.

’Red tulips symbolizes undying love.  
I just want you to know :)   
See you later.  
\--- the man you love so much, CSC

I chuckled. Gone is my annoyance. Conceited bastard. He really knows that I can not really stay annoyed at him. He know I'm weak when it comes to him so he is taking advantage. 

I was busy admiring the flower and thinking many ways to murder Seungcheol for being a sap when my phone beeped. 

’I love you.’ The text said. I quickly dialed his number cause why not? 

"Did you like it?" hello to him too. 

"I really hate you Choi Seungcheol. " I said but the irony lies when my mouth curved into a content and fond smile. 

"I love you too, love. " He said in the other line. I can't help but blush with that. 

I always wished for a happy ending with him but come to think of it. We could be happy without an ending. I know If I were to chose between safety and heartbreak, I'll chose the latter. Because every pain is worth it when I know it is him.  

I love this man so so much I could die in happiness. He is the kind of person i'll love again in my next lives and I'm glad we found each other in this life.  

"See you later, Cheol. " I uttered still flustered. 

"Laters, Zi." then, we hanged up.   
   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEHEYYYY!! it's finished!! FINALLY!! 
> 
> okay. I really want to thank everyone who patiently waited for my slowwwww updates. And, especial thanks to those who leaves a comment too. Because of you, I am eager to give my best-est writing this. I am so grateful to your kind words and suggestions. I am still thinking about giving Jihan a short side story but i am still not sure about it. The original ending for this is the clap chapter but I feel like I need to give them a better ending so here it is. I hope you like it. 
> 
> Also, I am working on a new chaptered fic so I hope you'll take time and read it too when I post it. Thank you guys, really. 
> 
> So, tell me your thoughts. I would really love to know them. :) :) :) 

**Author's Note:**

> Working on it :)  
> Sekaiichi Hatsukoi inspired and from the game I often play with my friends.


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